Can ya make me laugh?

Question

i'm really bored and tired! i need a laugh!

tell me a football/soccer joke (without insulting teams or footballers plz!) and if u can make me laugh (which aint easy) u'll get the 10 pnts!

Answer 1

Some flies were playing football in a saucer using a sugar lump as a ball. One of them says, "We'll have to do better than this, lads. We're playing in the cup tomorrow."

:-)

Answer 2

Portsmouth manager talking to his players - "Come on lads we can win the FA cup. If you think about it it's only five games. If you can win each game - which are roughly three weeks apart and then win the final game you will be picking up the cup from the King." "Don't you mean the Queen ? Harry" says Sol Campbell. " No you daft twit" Harry replies " by the time Pompey win the FA cup It will be King Charles on the throne not Queen Elizabeth" Stupid joke but it made me chuckle - it was in the local rag tonight

Answer 3

I'll give it a shot. Now you have to have a drinkers scence of humor for this to be funny. these friends and myself were out on a drinking binge about 30 years ago and we had stopped at this small gas station to use the rest room. While we were sitting there in the car this guy pulled up in a beat up old Chevy pick up. We had just been talking about how drunk we were and this guy goes to get out of the truck and almost falls out on the ground while holding on to the truck door and yells at the top of his lungs, WHOOOO......IZZZZZZZZZZZZZI????? My friend and I just about fell out of the car we were laughing so hard. Well if it didn't make you laugh, it did me. I get tickled every time I think about it and so does my friend. It is probably one of those things that you would say, "You had to be there". LOL Oh well, I tried.

Answer 4

there is a guy sitting watching the super bowl at the 50-yard line. with an empty seat next to him. and another guy walks up and says is someone sitting here the guy asks. No replys the man. he says what peron wold have a seat like this and not use it. well actually it belong to me the guy says. my wife would have sat there but she passed away. we have been to every superbowl, until this one. I'm sorry. says the other man. Isn't there someone else who could have the ticket a friend or a relative. There isbut they are all at the funeral.

Answer 5

Did you know that in Mexico the word for "soccer shoes" is tacos.
Funny when you know a taco is also the most popular food in Mexico. :p

Answer 6

4 surgeons are taking a tea break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Tottenham fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."

Answer 7

these your clowns failed you??? dumb bozos drinking too much booze thats shame right?? how could these USA clowns make fools out of mexico 2 to 0?? mexcian girlfriends looking at USA clowns' BIGGER shoe sizes with envy...

Answer 8

well im a happy person and i think you should spend time wiyh your friends well u should call me sometime well message me n ill give you my #

Answer 9

Just look at some answers and Q here...!

Answer 10

A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"
"Because he beats me" said the little boy.
"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.
"Because she beats me as well."
"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"
The little boy replied" I would like to live with Southampton FC, because they don't beat anyone!!"