It seems like many people get married for the wrong reasons. What's up with that?
2007-02-07 05:01:00 · 19 answers · asked by Liberal City 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People these days are too immature, too busy, too whatever. They have no idea what love truly is. Myself, I have been married for 15 glorious years. People thought my wife and I wouldn't last a year but we figured out what it takes and we are still running strong. To those who get married to impress people, keep parents happy, or whatever, I would tell them to get a clue and don't make the institution become a joke. It is a sacred rite and those who don't fit the bill, just stay away!
2007-02-07 05:06:25 · answer #1 · answered by Obi-wan Kenobi 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A mockery of what? If you meant to say why are their so many failed relationships, I can offer you an answer.
People get married because they think they like each other. Hopefully, there's some sexual attraction between them. Then they spend some real time together and find out that they drive each other nuts. OK....
One of the big things that a lot of couples lack is a sense of compromise; the ability to work out problems without a lot of trauma, swearing and crying. They can't work out the small stuff, what are they going to do when they run into big stuff?
Another problem is too much "me" and not enough "we." When you start hearing complaining about "your friends vs my friends," or "your money vs my money," you're already circling the drain. Marriage is about being a team, and everything becomes part of a common pot. Too many guys marry a woman and expect her to cook, do the housework, be good in bed, and they want to spend their time "out with the boys."
It just doesn't work like that.
Too many couples have no deep sense of sympathy or forgiveness. Human beings are going to screw up on occasion, and if you cannot pick yourself up, learn from your mistake, and be forgiven, there's a big problem there, too.
I hope I was able to offer some good information.
2007-02-07 05:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right - many people get married for the wrong reasons. They mistake lust for love; they're lonely and they settle for the first person that shows them attention, they go into it thinking "if this doesn't work, I'll divorce & try somebody else", or they may even get married for convenience / appearances, etc., but the biggest mistake is they leave God out of the equation. God invented marriage; it is a SERIOUS committment and a holy union. Nobody should go before God, vow "for better or worse", and then bail when "worse" comes along. (there are exceptions - extreme, life-threatening physical abuse is a legitimate reason to end a marriage.) NOBODY should get married until they have gone through marital counseling to make sure that both people are on the same page when it comes to what they expect of a marriage. A successful marriage takes work: the two people have to learn to BECOME one without completely losing their own identity - it is a lifelong process. There WILL be conflicts and trials to overcome - life happens and people are not perfect. We all make mistakes / bad choices sometimes, but real love is not a feeling - it is a CHOICE. If either one of the couple are not able to CHOOSE to walk in love in spite of their emotions or whatever trial they are facing, the marriage will NOT work. NOBODY in this world is completely 100% compatible - we are all individuals. If couples would learn how to wake up and say "what can I do to bless my spouse today?" instead of "what about me?", marriages would last a lot longer. People didn't give me and my husband 6 months when we got married.....we'll be celebrating 25 years in April!
2007-02-07 05:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope! far be from it. Marriage isn't a mockery, just that ignorance makes it look like it is. The bible, in Gen 2:18 "The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
If both men and women will understand this scripture, then marriage will be a SOLUTION not a problem. If God Himself says ....IT IS NOT GOOD.....that simply means when the TWO comes together, then .......IT IS GOOD.....
Marriage should be to COMPLETE each other not to compete with each other.
Marriage is God's idea not our idea. So, He has given us the guidelines for marriage in His word. Negligence to follow God's guidelines for a successful/happy marriage definitely has a consequence. Don't fall a victim.
Get back to the right source! The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.....
2007-02-07 05:45:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you on this one for sure. People are making a mockery of what marriage is supposed to be. I am so glad you brought this up today. We need to hear and think about this one. We should get married for the right reasons and not for the wrong ones. There would be alot less divorces and problems if people would marry for the right reasons and mean their vows when they say them and stick by them no matter what and not only stick by them and honor them when it is convienient and easy to do so. I am totally happily married and we married for the right reasons and i would not have it any other way. Happily married going on 8 years now!
http://www.marriagetoday.org
2007-02-07 05:07:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Some people do simply get married just to be able to have a wedding, but others do it for the right reasons and then it fails later down the road. I am getting a divorce soon, after being married for 11 years and together for 16. My husband cheated on me, ignored me, the works. I adored him when we met, and ostensibly he also adored me, but not long after that he began to change, take me for granted, lie to me, etc. I stood by him through all of that, but at the end he couldn't tell me he wanted me. So I'm leaving. He changed. He's not at all the person that I met and fell in love with, and that's what happens to a lot of marriages, one or both just fall out of love. I don't even pretend to know why....they just do.
2007-02-07 05:23:09 · answer #6 · answered by ultraviolenceland 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with marriage these days is the "Happily Ever After" syndrome. Marriage isn't a long dream of agreeing on everything tra-la-la. Marriage takes work and marriage requires compromise and today people don't understand that.
Take my brother - please ;-) His first wife was awful but his second wife is very sweet. Most of the time she let him have his way but one day she didn't back down in a disagreement and he decided the marriage was over and asked her to move out. ONE argument he didn't win and he thought that's it the marriage is over. Well my father went over there and had a talk with him about how fighting is a normal part of marriage and you don't always get your own way and he asked her to stay.
That was years ago and they are still together because my brother finally learned his lesson. If people had a realistic view of marriage and didn't drop their partner at the first sign of friction the divorce rate would be MUCH lower.
I have been married 16 years and counting. When my husband and I fight we actually rub our arms against each other to generate some physical friction to remind ourselves that emotional friction is just part of the package. That usually makes at least one of us laugh which helps us get through the fight.
2007-02-07 05:30:19 · answer #7 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Divorce is easy. And many people don't look on marriage as a lifetime relationship any more. That's why they don't take care to get married well.
Either partner can divorce the other without the other's consent. You can be married today and divorced tomorrow at the whim of your partner. And when marriage is this insecure, then it's not much different from shacking up with someone without any marriage papers at all.
2007-02-07 05:10:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You would have to ask them. There are many of the wrong reasons, and the top three are:
1. Don't want to be alone (needy).
2. In love with being in love (hopeless romantic).
3. To have kids.
Not that those reasons are bad in and of themselves. It's just there's a whole lot more to making a relationship work.
2007-02-07 05:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is obviously a mockery these days.
People get married but don't understand the commitment it takes.
2007-02-07 05:04:58 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋