Help Big Dillema?

Question

My daughter is 12 and while i was tidying her room i found her diary i decided just to have a wee read and when i did i came across what my daughter had been doing on a friday night.

She had went out drinking vodka and then went to her brothers friends house where she had kissed him and he had felt her up in her diary she had said this was the best time of her life but what was the worst was that she said that he had asked her to have sex with him tomorrow and she had said yes so that would be today that she is going to have it today what do i do????????????
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I wish I had the best answer for you, I am 24 and I have a younger sister who is just now 16.

She has been through a lot and I is basically taking the same path I took as an adolescent. I made it through it, but its scary to know that I cant protect her from the evils of the world.

So beside the point, I would honestly pick her up from school. Take her to the gyno and have the gyno explain STD's. If that still doesn't scare her, get her the depo shot to prevent pregnancy and to make sure she doesn't turn into another statistic.

If she still continues to see this boy, make it very clear that sex is not to happen under your roof. If she disobeys and continues to sleep with him, then you have a bigger issue on your hands.

I would seriously consider counseling, when children start having sex at such a young age they are more likely to be raped, or labeled as promiscuous. "The girl that gave it up" I am sure throwing that in her face and letting her know that she will be the girl that all the girls talk about.

I wish you luck, I just would hate to see you dealing with what I have and what my family has dealt with. The drugs the drinking and all that jazz! Which by the way did start at your daughters age.

Answer 2

Wow, thats pretty scary. To be honest i have no idea what to say to you. I don't have any kids, im F25. maybe you could talk to to your son. Don't know how old he is. Or maybe go around the whole sex thing and come up with a plan for you son to be there so it will mess up there plan. You can also hope that you raised your daughter right and hope that she will make the right decision. Then again i would probably kick her ***. but i don't think that will solve anything. probably make her do something even worse. Reading her diary was bad to beacuse if she does find out that will totally piss her off. But she needs to be safe. Sex talk i think would be the best thing. if you can't maybe find somebody older than her of course that she can trust to talk to her about sex, and everything that comes with it. Im so sorry that you have to deal with this. She is so young. i will say a little prayer for you

Answer 3

I think that tonight you should be "her" date you take her to a movie and dinner and you show your daughter how a man is supposed to treat her open her doors and what not then possibly over dinner let her know what you came across because you want an open relationship with her and explain that these moments are to be special not out of lust being under the influence of Alcohol and being that you are in a public place might not give her the chance to run off and not hear what you have to say I'm sure you love her and it tear's you up but you have the right to know.... Destiny

Answer 4

OMG..i Have a son 13 and i feel for you... i would go and get her and not let her leave your side she is way to young for that...Understand you broke some trust here so if you can get around telling her that you read the book even better...And you may need to have to read it in the future and you want her to keep writing things down or you will never know what is going on...Try to find another reason to ground her for something until you can figure out what to do long term..at least tonight she will still be away from him...Please let me know how it goes i am scared i will be in this same spot very soon...:(

Answer 5

oh wow.. scary time for a mom to read something like that.. you obviously thought something was up or you probably wouldnt have peeked iinto her diary. and put it this way.. if you found your daughters diary and it was out.. then part of her wants to get caught.. bc trust me when you dont want parents to find out something you try really realy hard to hide it .. unless this diary was locked up into a box inside of a locked box up on a high shelf.. she just got really lazy about it. please sit down and talk to her tonight, and dont let her out tonight.. she will get mad , and she will say she hates you but its better then a 12 yr old going out and having sex and whatever. I'm sorry and i hope you 2 can have a really heart to heart and talk about this. good luck

Answer 6

Talk to her, tell her that you think it is time to have a mother daughter talk. Ask her if she is having sex. Even though you know she is planning on it. Don;t tell her you read her diary, just ask questions. Then decide what you need to do from there.

Answer 7

Are you a parent or what? Obviously refuse to let her leave the house that night. Sit her A*& down and tell her the truth--that you saw what she's up to and her privileges are way past being gone...Parents are here to protect their children--not negotiate with them as in--oh--sorry I invaded your privacy --that's what it sounds like--you are more scared of having invaded her privacy--if that's the case--your daughter is controlling the household not you--it doesn't matter HOW you found out she is up to something--it is on her--it is her fault and she should be punished for it--period--otherwise--when she's older and if you--whoops--find out she's commiting a crime or something--oh no--you'll be so afraid that she'll be mad at you for invading her privacy---who cares how you found out--take some action NOW...

Answer 8

Conveniently arrange for some family time tonight- and keep an eye on her- she shouldn't be going out at age 12 without adult supervision! Talk to her brother about taking care of her- he should know better than to have her drinking around his friends.
Put a stop to it- you are the parent!

Answer 9

Confront her. Don't feel bad about reading her diary. Parents need to do anything and everything to protect their kids these days. She needs a stern lecture and should be grounded. Otherwise she is headed for deep trouble. Talk to her brother, too. His friend is not much of a friend.

Answer 10

Talk to her about sex. Reading her diary wasnt okay however in this case you found some interesting info. Let her know that she can talk to you and that she needs to be honest with you.