Can it work if you live together after getting divorced?

Question

I am in the process of getting a divorce. My husband says he is not happy but he wants to continue living in our house. He is going through some personal issues and doesn't seem to know what he wants. We are 4 days shy of 15 years of being married. I need to know what boundaries to set since he will not give me an answer. I do not want responses from people who want to judge my decision, but people who have maybe been through it or are doing it.

Answer 1

Just think how each of you would feel when the other one starts dating someone else...how would the person you're dating feel about the situation?

That's a tough one...why would you do this? Do you have kids?

Answer 2

Have u talked to a therapist? Before ending the relationship? Do u love him and want to make it work for the right reasons. Look i cant tell you what to do bc i am not married to this person, but i can relate to what you are saying. i have been with some1for 9 1/2 yrs and he has done it all, so ask yourself is it worth it or is it time to move on and enjoy ur life... Living situation he is finding the easy way to tell you hey i am going through some stuff but i want to live here... no mam you have to kick him to the curve and start focusing on yourself, bc the more he is there then u will not be able to move on and the min. he see's you doing ur life then what... really think about it bc, he needs to grow up and start to take responsibility for his own actions. If he is confused then u dont need to be there. Kick him out and show him that u are done even if ur not. Good Luck now

Answer 3

sure it can, My x wife and i are good friends including my new wife, if your a person that loves another and their not beating the hell out of you or using you like a rag or a slave or someone fore sex and because your lonesome you need help. if you have divorced that person and relay didn't know why then you need a shrink, what ever happened before the divorce will happen after you move in again but only this time you have to keep your mouth shut because you would have had this dope and brought him or her back into your life to do it again,
and this time you will have no self esteem left at all
don't be a sucker if your lonesome get a real dog or a cat. instead of a the same old DOG. at least get something you can live with.

Answer 4

My husband and I are going through a divorce, and I still live in our house with him due to financial difficulties. It's sheer hell. I am moving out in May. I still find the same things about him that I hated before intolerable whether we're together romantically or not. If you have to do it, make it a temporary thing.

Answer 5

It is if the thing that broke you up in the first place is not an issue, such a finances or sex. It can be a good arrangement if the financial details are worked out. If there are children involved, it can work better for them as long as both parents are civil to each other. Some people who do this actually continue to have sex with each other. Some friends of ours did this, and they told us that they both loved their son and still were attracted to each other and had sex, but the other issues like religion and finances were too much for them to stay married.

Answer 6

Divorce is a word man created, love is another word to describe God.

Possible that he still want you, needs you and can't get around to saying it.....Tough for a man....Maybe you are not receptive ....why have boundaries if you are staying together....divorce itself is boundary....if you co habit at a same place, it could be like a hotel if you dont have feelings for each other......but if there is a tiny glimmer or spark left, this could be an opportunity in disguise for it to ignite your passions for each other again..off hand, give it a chance is what I feel...

If something happens and both enjoy it, your hearts are speaking...

Answer 7

Is it your husband who wants the divorce? If so, then he chose that route and allowing him to keep a roof over his head isnt part of the deal. If he wants out, then tell him to do just that....get out.
If it is you, then i honestly think its a bad idea to allow him to stay. You apparently need to spread your wings after such a long unhappy marriage and wont be able to do that with him there.
But, if this is what you wish to do......
Then i would make his own bedroom.
Let him cook for himself.
Let him do his own laundry.
Let him pretty much take care of himself, because its no longer a chore of yours to do for him.
I would set a time frame, like 2 months, and then he must find his own place.
Tell him that he is not to bring his gals there.
You dont bring any fellas there.
You know what you can tolerate and what you cant. but i would try to make it as much a roommate type deal as possible, and not do for him like u used to.
You will be divorced and that changes everything.
Good luck. i dont know how you will manage it.

Answer 8

whats the use divorcing if you two live together it would be hard to see some one you love dating other women and you dating other men because you two wouldn't be married any more and couldn't tell each one what to do id move on with my life if that was me

Answer 9

my parents lived together after their divorce..we were still one big happy family. but my dad wanted to do his thing (being gay) and my mom did her thing. my mom remarried nd moved, but right now 18 years divorced they live right down the street from eachother and go out together, they just have fun. They were really good friends before they got married though. But it can work.

Answer 10

If you decided to get divorce, why live together? You need to cut the tie, and move on. It will be healthier for you and for him if you weren't living together.