how long do i let my 14 week old cry for?

Question

He just wants me to hold him all the time, when i set him down he will cry and cry but he is totally fine, i hate to just let him cry but its to the point where i cant even eat because i am always holding him. but alot of times i let him cry for 10 minutes then go get him but then that shows him that crying really does work and i dont want that, so i try to wait till he stops but he dont.

Answer 1

He is way too young to be leaving him to cry. You have to wait another 6 weeks. You can start letting him cry after that he is too young right now and you can't spoil a baby at this age.
momof4

Answer 2

You don't have to ignore him, but holding every time he cries may not be the best idea. You don't want him to think that crying and screaming will get him what he wants. If you need to do something and can't be in the same room than try to finish within a few minutes and check on him. When you get there, if nothing is wrong with him but he is screaming his head off, rub his tummy and talk to him calmly. He will be able to tell if you are upset and the whole idea is to sooth him. Pick him up once he has calmed down to either little fussing or just a whine or two. This will help teach him to calm himself down. He can't have whatever he wants when he wants, but don't take this as my saying you should ignore him. Stroking his head, rubbing his tummy, or just talking to him in a calming manner can help calm him but not make him feel lonely and abandoned. Remember, you can't hold him all the time, and this may be a phase, but the phase will come back. Possibly when he can walk and talk, allowing him to follow you and say "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" at a constant rate. He just needs to understand that, though mommy loves to hold him, she can't do it all the time every day.

When my aunt had a child, it was permanently attached to her from the day it was born. She stayed at home so she was able to spend just about every moment with her. Unfortunately after a few months the baby didn't want to go to sleep without being held, and would wake up and cry if you put her down. She didn't want anyone else to touch her, rarely even letting the dad hold her. As she got older it certainly didn't get better. She refused to sleep in her own bed and would cry for her mother all night. Finally at age five there was a big battle of crying and screaming every night for almost a month before she would stay in her room. It's best to teach him that he can't have mommy 24/7 now while it is still relatively easy. You don't have to be mean, cruel, or cold-hearted, you just need to be in control. Babies do need attention to develop social skills and to stimulate their minds, but just remember there has to be a limit.

Answer 3

Crying bathes the brain in a stress hormone that can affect brain development.

Your baby is so little!!!!! Get a sling, or front pack or something. Try a baby swing so you can have time to take a shower or pee.

But this is what babies do. They are designed to want to be with their caregivers.

You are not "teaching" him anything at this age except TRUST. He needs to know that he can trust YOU to meet his NEEDS.

His WANTS are his NEEDS. They are the same thing! When you let him cry, he is learning that he cannot trust his needs to be met.

I'm afraid that you could be setting yourself up for a much needier toddler. All kids have their own temperament (personality) and some are more "high need" than others.

There is no one book you can read to make your baby act like your friends baby. No more that you can read a book and make your friend act like you!!!

He's your baby. Youre the mom. Its your job to hold him and meet his needs. I know it's hard work. Being a mom is hard work. He won't be little forever. Just enjoy him and let him know he can trust you. Please.

Answer 4

I suggest if you're going to take advice from "someone" you choose a professional like your pediatrician.

Barring that, I stronlgy suggest you follow your own reactions. When your little baby is upset and crying, even for no reason, does it break your heart and make you want to hold him and comfort him? If so, then that is what you should do. As far as I have read, children under 6 months of age cannot be spoiled by attention and are not capable of manipulation. They are, however, still getting used to not being inside you - they had contact constantly for 9 months and now they don't. That takes some getting used to. They are also learning that they can )or cannot) depend on you for comfort. If they fear their cries will go unanswered I would think that would make them more upset...not less. You could consider swaddling him and using a pacifier to keep him calm long enough for you to eat. You could also pop him into a sling so he can feel you close and still have your hands free for eating. Also, remember that one day he will not want to have you around much - cherish this time with him.

Follow your heart and good luck.

Answer 5

He is really young to just leave him. Does he cry even when you are holding him: could be colic. Make very sure nothing is wrong before you let him cry at all. In my opinion though, he is way to young to be "manipulating" you, as people say. He is a baby and he wants his mommy and that is very normal. Of course he wants to be held. Pick him up, give him cuddles and love the time you have together. I know it can be frustrating, but if his dad is around, maybe you can take turns holding him while you eat.
This stage doesn't last forever, this too will pass. Take a deep breath, pick him up, and let the laundry pile up.

Note: if you ever feel like you might want to hurt him for crying so much, put him in the crib and get the hell out of the room. Go somewhere else and calm down before you go near him again.

Answer 6

Well you can't hold him all the time, it's impossible.

The thing you need to realize is that you are NOT a bad mother for letting him cry. If he's crying but you need a few minutes to grab something to eat or whatever, let him cry.

Also, just remember this is only a phase with him. He's at that age where he wants to be held, but in a few months he'll probably care less if he's held or not.

For now, just know that it's fine to let him cry...it won't hurt him. Congrats on the new little one :-)

Answer 7

It is completely harmless to let your child cry. My daughter did the same thing and I held her a lot because I could not stand to see her cry. When my husband was deployed, and me being the only one home providing for her, I would have no choice but to let her cry at times just so I could do things such as make formula, grab a bite to eat, or use the restroom.

Answer 8

No you do not prefer to muzzle him, he's crying because he thinks you're his mom and he's after interest, or he's hungry or desires to flow to the rest room. once you're taking him out, in a way you're worthwhile him, because you're giving him interest. after I presented my doggy abode, I placed him in his container, with an opulent toy, a warm water bottle less than his blanket and an quaint clock (curiously the ticking of the clock mimicks his mum's heartbeat) He nevertheless cried, yet there became issues to make him comfortable and chance-free. As merciless because it sounds, you should attempt to push aside him even as he acts like this, I also stumbled on it a lot less complicated for both one human beings, if he mattress became not the position shall we see one yet another, he may cry, yet ultimately cool down. he's only a doggy, which has in basic terms left his mum and his brother or sisters, it really is a tremendous change for him, with time and endurance, earlier you comprehend it, he received't cry in any respect.

Answer 9

i would let him cry for about 10 mins then go were he is and talk to him and try to get him to stop crying then after he stops or atleast gets settled a lil walk away again but only do it for 20 mins he still young. make sure he has lots of toys around and maybe try to play music too.

and this way isnt for everyone but if u stick to it it works
Good Luck

Answer 10

I never let my son cry for more than 10-15 mins. and he usually settled down in that time. If not, you can go to him, just don't pick him up. Try rubbing his tummy or singing to him. The Baby Einstein DVDs were an absolute lifesaver for me. I would lean my little guy up in his Boppy pillow, put on one of those shows and he would completely zone out!! Well worth the money and available on eBay for pretty cheap.