i have many obese friends and my mom, dad and many of my relatives are too. i am a little overweight myself and i just dont get why people treat us differently. we are still people with feelings too. sometimes i cry myself to sleep at night because people including my dad make fun of me. i am also in a wheelchair and sometimes i can walk with crutches and people treat me differently because of that too. i was just wondering WHY??????
2007-02-07 04:23:21 · 9 answers · asked by tinker_bell 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hi! My name is Lindsey. Don't cry yourself to sleep, honey, over what rude people have to say. I was always made fun of in high school because I was painfully shy.People would throw basketballs at me, put gum in my hair, etc., because they knew I was too shy to do anything about it. I went through about 7 years of depression and wanted to kill myself- and attempted it twice. But as I got older I realized that I didn't want other people to control my life.I realized that's what was happening- I was allowing others to control my thoughts about myself, my feelings, my actions. I wanted freedom. And from experience I can tell you that nothing feels better than breaking free from that prison. Break free from letting others control how you feel about yourself. The truth is- people are just plain mean- and we can't change them- only they can choose to change. What we can do is change how we choose to react to their actions and comments. There is nothing wrong with you- start to see yourself how you want to- not how others are telling you to see yourself. Try to have as little contact with the people who traet you this way as possible.Try to be around more positive people- people who don't look at you as different from them.I'm sorry that your dad is one of those people- I'm not saying to totally break off your relationship with him, but if he begins to make a rude comment, just leave the room, or if that's not possible- listen to his comment, then tell him that that's his own opinion and that you have your own opinions about the subject. Tell him if he can't be respectful toward you then he needs to keep his comments to himself.It brings people like this pleasure in making others feel low, and you know why? It's only to make themselves feel higher because they don't think too highly of themselves either. Don't give them that pleasure.Ignore them and break free from that trap. Another thing- I'm not trying to butt into people's lives, and I'm definitely not a matchmaker- but what's crazy is I just read a profile on a man who sounds like he has alot in common with you. He's lonely, so if you are single, or even if you do have someone I'm sure he would love to talk to you. He calls himself "Lovable Shy Guy 4 You Baby" He sounds really sweet. I read his profile out of curiosity when he answered a question. If you go to the question in psychology that is about "having nightmares after eating hot dogs" you'll find his answer and his email, etc. But seriously, don't take the comments to heart. You are your own person and there is NOTHING wrong with you just because you are different. If the majority of people were obese and handicapped, the skinny, walking people would be the targets of abuse. It never ends. So just ignore those people who try to build themselves up by making you feel small. They are the ones making themselves look bad. Be happy and be grateful for your life and all that you have. You still have alot.
2007-02-07 06:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. I think people act that way because they see that maybe you are not comfortable with yourself. If you hold your beautiful head up and look into their eyes, they will know what a strong person you are. Don't ever hold back the way you feel, and always speak your mind. My husband has a damaged back, and he walks with a cane, and sometimes I push him in a wheel chair. He is SURE that everybody is staring at him. Some people do, but more people don't. I tell him to actually look around at how many different kind of people are out there, and everybody is different. I am proud to walk by his side like I did before he was disabled, and I love him so much. Unfortunately, there are so many ignorant people in this world, we can't change that. Practice your confidence and your comebacks. Anyone who makes a jab at you, deserves one right back.
2007-02-07 12:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is form of discrminiation. Because in the society, there is norm. If you are not within this norm, you may become discriminated.
That is why lots of situation like gay people coming out, they are trying to fit into the norm.
As fas as obese or handicapped people go, they are treated differently because in society they are minority. Same goes with races. The majority wins and most of them decide on what they do and think or judge. It is a sad thing, but true.
2007-02-07 12:28:08 · answer #3 · answered by YourDreamDoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knew sweetie. I have in the last 2 years become disabled, and because of my disability, I am not able to exercise, or for that matter do very much of anything. I use a walker to walk. People look at me like I'm a freak, and for some reason, even though there is nothing wrong with my brain, they treat me like I've lost my intelligence also. It is a form of discrimination, its also a form of fear manifesting itself.
That which people do not understand they rebuke and fear. My darling boyfriend of 15 years also walked out because of this. I don't wonder you cry yourself to sleep sometimes, so do I. Good luck to you. Don't let the bastards get you down.
2007-02-07 12:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because the reverse is just as bad. With the majority of Americans leaning toward heavy or overweight, the person with the fit figure is discriminated against. In most of my extended family and in-laws they range from heavy to morbidly obese and the verbal abuse I have to put up with from them has left me in tears. They also demand to be treated preferentially or that everyone has to be 'Up with People' and constantly cheering for them. People become jealous and they justify being cruel.
2007-02-07 12:40:43 · answer #5 · answered by Amy V 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because people suck...
I mean really - look around you, if you live in the industrialized first world - our society is diseased - we worship at the alter of greed and vanity.. constant bombardment by advertising and media that with one hand tries to sell us junk food and the other is putting "beautiful people" on a pedestal and selling us drugs and clothing and products and surgery to be like that...
be a good person - and hang out with good people - there are still a LOT of people who put more value in WHO you are rather than WHAT you look like..
remember MLK's words :
"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
don't matter if you're black, brown or yellow, fat or skinny, or WHATEVER. Have faith - life will probably not be as easy for you as it might be for others - but if you are a good person - good things and people will be attracted to you.
peace.
2007-02-07 12:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
they fear that they will get fat or be handicapped so they get nasty with you as a result ;
in the case of your dad; he feels you reflect on him and he will be judged inferior as his kid has a problem
my dad was horrible to me as I was obese from age 10
2007-02-07 12:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure that most people dont treat you differently, its just that the ones who do treat you differently do tend to stand out more. im sorry to hear that its happening to you and your family.
2007-02-07 12:33:10 · answer #8 · answered by swatthefly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because society convinces you to think like that. Luckly some people don't and stand up to them.
2007-02-07 12:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. DC Economist 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋