What DO i do about my girlfreind?

Question

i have been with my girl for 7 yeares and were planning on getting married after this long we are practicly family, We wer living together and we were asked to leve becasue the guy wanted to charge us more, SO she found a room with some freinds and i had to move back home, just for a few months so i can get some more cash together to get a new place, we talk everyday, see each other and , now 3 months later, i found out she is pregent, and has told some of her close freinds this and that it is fathered by on her freinds exboyfreinds, she has know this for a month and a half, and still to my face says i love you and kisses me and hugs me, how can she do this knwing that we are together and are planning to get a new place, talking to me everyday and still ahve this crazy secret, she dsont know i know and im going to keep it that way untill i figure this out, i still love her and i am disapointed 7 years is alot of investment , its easy to say just leave, but im looking for a real answ

she has not told me she is pregnet, supposedly she is 2 months,

thank u all for your answers keep them coming please, i asked her today about it and she denied it, all of it, I dint tell her I was told only that i am suspecting she mabey cheating on me , and to have respect and tell me, i even offered her that i would help her and i would be around as a freind , but to please be honest, she said no that she isnt, but to me she looks a little more chubby and when i went to talk with her it seemed planed no one around only me and her, and when i left she called back to ask me something and i can hear taht the other people living there came back from wherer they were, she assures me , and holds my hand and cries and says she loves me, i told her i trust her to tell me if anything , but im going to tell you guys that i feel that it is true it all just seems to suspicious now, I dint go through and ask if she was pregnet yet , i just asked this first step maby she will think about it and just tell me if she is, mabey she might feel more guilty

Answer 1

Assuming that this pregnancy is in fact the product of an affair, she is concealing it in the same way that you are concealing your knowledge of it: she is lying like a rug. You guys seriously need to work on your communication, preferably *before* the kid is born. I mean, how do you expect to make this big decision about the future of your relationship without even hearing her side of the story?

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear this, you've gotta be crushed. But first things first. Are you sure that the friend who told you isn't secretly jealous of your relationship? Some women frown when their friends are having such intimate relations with a kind and responsible man. They wonder what it would be like to be involved with the man and sometimes make up rumors to separate the two love birds. If you have faith in the words that the friend has told you, have you noticed your girlfriend acting stranger than usual. Does she seem quieter than usual, maybe more uncomfortable than usual? she may be hiding her secret for fear of losing you. However, if you stay the same, do not show any signs of the possibility of you knowing, she may feel guilty and tell you. Or, she may be set on keeping you around because she knows you'd be a better father. Why chance losing you when she thinks you'll never find out the truth? The biggest decision is going to be if you'll forgive her and raise this child as your own. Beware..once this happened, she stigma has made it's impression and she is definitely likely to fail you again. All the advice I can give is to weigh things out. Seven years strong and a baby on the way that isn't yours, but the relationship keeps thriving. OR, leaving her after the truth comes out, missing her and feeling betrayed but saving yourself from further likely damage? Which sounds better? Only you can make that choice. Good luck.

Answer 3

if you're sure about all the facts then you need to confront her. i know you must be feeling like dumping her is the last thing you want to do, and i can't say that i'd blame you for feeling that way after all you love her and you've been together so long but, not to hurt you're feelings, she obviously doesn't care about you as much as you care about her, if she did she wouldn't have cheated on you. Would you do that to her? nobody deserves that kind of treatment. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years and we love each other more than anything in the world, and neither of us would do that kind of horrible, un-forgivable thing to each other. you do need to dump her..seriously!! Do you want to get stuck supporting some other guys baby, or minding it while she's out with another guy? and I think she has some nerve to continue telling you every day that she loves you, if she did she wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place. It may sound daunting given the time scale but scrap it and start again. I feel really sorry for you, I hope it works out ok for you :-)

Answer 4

This is going to be a very touchy subject with her. I would take her somewhere you won't be interupted and tell her that you heard she was pregnant. This could very well be a rumor started by someone hoping to break you two up. You will have to use great control when asking her about this as to not sound accusing. You have to go into this knowing this could just be a rumor...if not you may well ruin the 7 years you have invested. If it is true and not a rumor only you two can decide what to do from there. Either way do not jump to conclusions until you talk to her about it. Good luck

Answer 5

You are living a lie right now because you know something very important but haven't shared it with her. You need to tell her your concerns right away and that you have heard it might not be your baby.

Did you use protection when you had sex with her? Maybe the people who told you the baby's not yours are lying, so it might not even be true!

Open lines of communication are key. If you love each other, you should both be strong enough to have this conversation. Don't keep this worry to yourself. You deserve an honest answer.

Either way, you might want to insist on paternity (DNA) testing once the baby is born, if you still have doubts.

Answer 6

I know you were hurt when you heard this news. But sometimes you have to watch the dog that brings the bone. If u want to get to the bottom of this u will need to sit her down alone and talk it over. Let her know who told u these things. But one thing for sure don't get angry and raise your voice because screaming gets u no where fast. And if this is not your child would u be willing to love it like it's you own. No one else has to know that it is not yours. And you can still love it and give it a loving home. This child deserves a love home w/ 2 parents. because he/she didn't do anything to not have a father to love. I am telling u this because i am a single mother and i didn't lie 2 my kids father, he just do not want to be there.

Answer 7

Oh my goodness. i do not decide on to insult you because it truly is not my reason, yet because i'm 40 5 and a mom, i'm questioning via studying your question that you sound like an adolescent or youthful. when you're older than that, then I make an apology. i decide on you to understand something: no man or woman ought to ever, ever hit, slap, administration you or beat you up. i do not care when you're snotty at cases. no man or woman advantages to be dealt with the way your female friend is treating you. i will inform you that if you're a guy and a woman is thrashing up on you, you'd be perceived as susceptible via different adult adult males, and no female will appreciate you. get up for your self. tell this female that you gained't tolerate that from her or any female, and then unload her. You deserve better effective. No - this isn't something you may artwork out. No -you ought to not proceed to confirm her. She is worry. She is mean and has quite a number of growing as a lot as do. She thinks she will be ready to boss you round and beat up on you once you do not do what she needs. In a relationship, if someone quite cares about yet another human being, they don't attempt to boss them, administration them, and they actual are not mean and bodily abusive to them. tell the girl to get a existence and then flow on which includes your human being. when you're difficult to address, then you absolutely can take a look into that. possibly it isn't that you're difficult to address at the same time as it includes different people - purely once you're with her. you're better effective off with out her. no man or woman should be dealt with the way she is treating you. Lose her. You deserve better effective.

Answer 8

I think first you need to ask yourself if you can deal with the situation and love her enough to hold on if you could never forgive and forget then u should think of other options because when you hold on to a relationship but still have anger about an unsolved problem the relationship gets worse and you end up hating each other so i would say think what it is that you want before you approah her and ask the question that would change your life

Answer 9

well first off people talk mad sh!t from time to time when it comes to this sort of thing so the right thing and fair thing to do is confront her on this and let her tell her side of the story..i know how it feels to have your childs father believe everyone under the sun that the baby isnt his and then 9months later let the truth be known it is his..i have yet to figure out why people lie when it come to such a serious matter but its human nature and it does happen..if by chance it ends up not to be your child by her admission then you will have to let go..7years is a long time but not when you look at it long term..so anyway do the right thing for you and her and bring it up one way or the other at least this way you will have an answer from HER

Answer 10

As much as it hurts you tell her that you already know and that you want a DNA you don't even have to wait until the birth you can do it know well wait until she is like 6 or 7 mo but let her know that you are having doubts and besides you were with her 7yrs why didn't she get pregnant then....besides you don't want to end up paying child support for a child that is not yours


Good luck Man and don't worry you will be able to fine a girl who really appreciate you

she not worth your time