how to drag hubby to family therapy??

Question

When he hates the idea and thus far has refused?I dont want to have to give him an ultimatium?

I have been married almost 2 yrs now the first 6-8months of the marriage were the only good times i can think of where not everything was a fight.I have a daughter from a previous relationship who is 7 yrs old and i am concerned of what the impact is on her when she see's us fight.I try not to fight with my husband in front of her but he will purposley start fights in front of her to limit what i can say back to him.The problems started when my daughters bio- father was released from prison after 5 yrs.His crime was committed in highschool it was drunk driving and he hit someone killing them.Since then my hubby has gotten very controling and possesive of me .

Answer 1

You cannot make your husband do anything. What you should do is go by yourself and ask your husband to attend just one session for the sake of your relationship, if he loves you he will go to at least one. If he refuses, then go for yourself.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Sounds like you want to have your husband willingly or any other way, attend and interact with family therapy.

Who's responsibility is it? Who is taking ownership of the action?

If your husband is not willing to cooperate, what are your other options? I am assuming that there is a greater issue which is why you are going to therapy in the first place.

Take some time and write out as many options as you can to your situations. Be as practical or as free spirited as you can. The key is to see your options.

Next sort through your options and determine your top 5 options.

Now look at those options and which one stands out as the one you are most likely to follow through and do?

Once you have selected your one options, what are the obstacles that could get in the way of accomplishing this option?

What do you need to do to remove those obstacles?

Once you have done these things, focus back on your option and create a specific action plan of what you will do to accomplish this option.

Write it down, come on this site and tell us what you are going to do...then do it...next week, you can come back and report what you did and the results. From there we can go through this exercise all over again...Issue, Option, Obstacles, Action, Results

Have a great day and a great life, take care of yourself and move forward in life.

Answer 4

I think you should calmly explain to him that you're not trying to "force" him to do anything, but you would like to see him go to therapy for the sake of the family/relationship. Tell him that there's nothing wrong with getting help/advice, and that right now therapy is the key to establishing a HEALTHY, stable family relationship. If there are kids involved, maybe you could mention how it will benefit them. I think a person should be able to put aside their differences, and make a change for the better. If he still refuses to go, I think maybe should go ahead and give him an ultimatum.

Answer 5

You will never be able to "drag" hubby to therapy since he hates the idea of it & has refused to do so, thus far. I would recommend that you go & do not discuss your sessions once you get back home. If he wants to know, he'll agree to go to counseling with you. Once you get some counseling, then sit down & weigh out the pros & cons of your situation. Then ask yourself, if you'd be happier & better off with/without your husband. If you want to stay in this marriage, then I applaud you. If not, carefully plan your strategy, & tell your hubby that you want out.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Stop controling! Be accountable for your actions and your words and your life.

You can't make anybody do anything.. if you do try to control him, he will only resent you.

If he goes because you ask him to and tell him you need that from him and he then refuses.. then LOOK at that... be honest and see if he really cares enough for you to be a man or not and have the COURAGE to face him as he is and not how you want him to be.

Then, if you and the kids need counseling, go...

ugg you have a long way to go, sweet.

Good luck

Answer 7

Dragging someone to therapy is moot.. meaning .. a big waste of time.. if he drug you somewhere .., let's say to get a pair of tires ..how enthusiastic would you be.. it has to be a compromise or a situation where he's picking the lesser of 2 evils.. hounding about going to shutting you up to go at least just 1 time ..
i'm not telling you to nag, press , prod ..
i never tell anyone to do anythign .. i just suggest things.

Answer 8

Do not force him... You cannot change him and make him want to go ... This will only aggravate you and him and make things worse for the both of you. Go for yourself for now and start getting the help you need and then who knows maybe over time he may see a change and improvement in you and that may make him want to go and try to get help for himself. Let me put it this way. You cannot and should not ever try to change your spouse . The only one you have power to change at all is you to be a better wife and person to yourself and to your spouse.

http://www.drphil.com

http://www.marriagetoday.org

Answer 9

Don't! Do NOT "drag" him...he will only resent you for it..so will an ultimatum. But, if someone is not willing to go with me to help a problem, then they should hit the highway, anyway...so if you are afraid he'll leave you...then you should let him...he's NOT worth it. Why would you want to MAKE someone do something they do not want to do? Would you like him to do that to you?
If he truly loved you..(and his family) he would do whatever it takes...sounds like to me you need to give him the "boot"...

Answer 10

This ebook might help you to understand what's wrong in your relationship and It also teaches what to do to try saving your marriage http://savemarriage.toptips.org
It helped me alot!