My husband and I are doing this... I am still VERY mich in love with him.... What I want to know is... How long did your last? Did you date other people or just your spouse? What is the best way to deal with this on my end?
2007-02-07 04:03:53 · 14 answers · asked by greygirl06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We are currently serperated... but not a divorce... Its all about having space... And making ourselves happy again on our own. We now know that you cant love someone else without loving yourself first... We are both wanting to be together...
2007-02-07 04:19:50 · update #1
Well I might be getting one my self. I have been married for 3 years and we arent getting a long. We have grown apart and have different things in common. I know that she loves me but I dont feel the sexual attraction from her anymore. That really makes me feel useless and unwanted. I am not use to this and I don't know what all to do. I finally blew up and said that I was leaving and that I wanted someone else and we are seperating soon. We made up but she wants this. She said that we would still be together but that we need space and time to fall back inlove like the old days. I think its a long shot. I just want to wake up beside her every day and make love to her and she isnt there. I hope your life works out, being seperated to date others is a shame, i think it means, your ready to get laid by others and go back home when you want a ltr back.
2007-02-07 04:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by sexyguy20175 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of what you do depends on why you separated in the first place.
I was separated from my husband for seven months. It was not the fact that anyone had entered either of our lives. But my husband was abusive in ways that are not physical. He needed help and had he not gotten the help we would have divorced.
We both entered counseling separately and he got the help he needed. I also got the help I needed to get past the anger.
We had children together so I couldn't stop talking to him as much as I wanted to. We had a civil separation and I guess I am one of the luckier ones as we did reunite. It has been six years since we got back together.
Neither one of us dated any one else but we also made sure that if we went out on a date(together) that it didn't include sex.
Kept it light at the beginning and minimal speaking at the beginning. I had seen him change and when he moved back home he had to accept the fact that I would not tolerate any more abusive behavior.
As I said it depends on the reasons for the separation as to if you date or not. Might be something to discuss with your husband.
2007-02-07 04:33:16 · answer #2 · answered by ellen295ss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The couselors I've spoken with say that 50% of separations lead to divorce. Somehow, to me that seems too low - I'm guessing it's closer to 80%. The percentage goes up when one or both people start dating other people...
I was separated from my ex-wife for nearly a year before the divorce was final though we both know the marriage was over long before that and after she slept with half the men in Houston
2007-02-07 05:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife left me and really had no explanation. I've already got the divorce under way. I'm not going to sit around waiting for someone who obviously doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm just glad and lucky she's being so civil about custody and all the other issues that are involved in a divorce. If you still love him and you're sure he loves you, do anything you can to make it work. You don't find that very often.
2007-02-07 04:17:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jeremy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, most separations end in divorce not reconciliation. I was "separated" for a year, just waiting for the divorce to finalize. Most of the time, one, or both, parties will realize they do not want to go back.
As far as dating, I have yet to re-enter that area of life. I am enjoying being single, and getting my life straightend out before I think about meeting someone. That, and my free time is working extra jobs for some more money, or spending time with my kids when I have them.
2007-02-07 04:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this one is a tough one. Have you talked about the idea of dating other people or are you dating each other with no other party involved.
From my personal experience... if you seperated because you/him wanted personal space... then its over... my husband did that and that was three years ago (we still haven't got a divorce) he wanted his personal space and then discovered that he loved his space more then me. Its now over
Seek some counselling if necessary and go have a girls night out..
2007-02-07 04:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My lawyer vetoed the idea down flat when it was brought up in our original divorce proceedings. My Ex wanted a legal separation instead of a divorce. My lawyer said it was a waste of time and money and all it was meant for was the cheating spouse to have his cake and eat it too. You have all the rights of a single divorced person EXCEPT you can not marry.
2007-02-07 04:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Are you divorcing? Then get it filed, and get on with your life.... separating is like cutting off a puppies tail one inch at a time. If it's over, it's over. If you are separating for some space, get into counseling. If he has found someone else (likely) then what you had at one time is no longer there, accept it, get some counseling and get on with your life.
a wise person once told me the only thing good reheated is stuffed cabbage.....
2007-02-07 04:09:10 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Separating" because he wants "space" is a pile of BS. This is just sugar coating the thruth, which is that he no longer wants to be with you and wants to date others.
My advice: don't wait for him. He will not be waiting for you. He is trying to break up things nicely so you let him go to "find his space" "because is god for the relationship", you love him and you believe this sack of BS. He knows it and that's why he told you. I know that this is not what you want to hear, but is over. Separation leads to divorce.
Good luck
Good luck
2007-02-07 05:01:23 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well me and my husband got separated more then 2 years ago..He now has a girlfriend and i think we are heading towords divorce..I don't want to work things out with him anymore because i found out to many ugly things about him tha make me want to never work it out..
2007-02-07 04:08:53 · answer #10 · answered by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋