In every major relationship I have, at the beginning of the relationship I have a very high sex drive, but over the first 6 months that sex drive wanes. It takes longer and longer to become aroused until there comes a point where not even I can even arouse myself and lubrication becomes nearly impossible and sex becomes painful. At this point, nothing arouses me sexually and, while I am capable of orgasm after A LOT of effort, sex just becomes a burden because it's both painful and emotionally uncomfortable (because of my embarrassment about lack of desire and my sig oth's worry that I am no longer attracted to him.). I am 22, healthy, and while I have had some issues with sex in my youth, I have dealt with them via counseling.
I thought this was normal in any committed relationship, but my sig other intimated this wasn't true with other women he dated. This is something that's plagued me for years and I don't know what the cause of it is and what I can do about it. Any help please?
2007-02-07 03:53:18 · 4 answers · asked by cool__love 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Yes, it is not normal at your age. The issues which you say have been dealt with through counselling are working at the subconscious level and preventing you from committing to any steady relationship and your subsconscious is conjuring up this method to get you out of the relationship!
either talk to a psychiatrist or explore other forms like regression therapy, hypnosis etc. And till then, use artificial lubrication.
2007-02-07 04:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by Swamy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Using lubrication and other physical methods to arouse your self is not the way to go. Obviously from what you are saying it is psychological and the way to combat psychological problems is with the help of others. I don't mean psychiatrists(even though being one), talk to your partner and tell him that your not getting any drive and that you both need to think of ways to get that drive back psychologically, IE watching pornographic films together( if you are both comfortable with that), trying various techniques from karmasutra, start with a romantic dinner or something along those lines, be a bit more daring(in daring situations) or spontaneous etc...But don't let this get out of hand otherwise this can lead to your relationship having too much sex drive and ruining the personality side of it.
Regards
taltas
2007-02-10 09:54:58 · answer #2 · answered by DJ T-RAY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called HI EXPECTATIONS, when you first get with someone and the sexis great. Then time goes on and you see something else in them, something that you do not like, something you are not attracted too, this will ruin the sex drive every time. Next time hold out as long as possible. See that you are happy and not the other person. The drive will last longer
2007-02-07 11:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by sodgirl6763 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is some question you should ask a therapist, i don't think anyone here should even try to give an opinion.,.... well here's mine... don't think about this all the time and just have fun, but this is just me... ask your therapist, you say you have one... ask him again.
2007-02-07 12:07:16 · answer #4 · answered by User 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋