18, pregnant so confused! Any advice?

Question

Not only am i on the thin line between being old enough to take care of a baby and being to young, but im also very confused. My x and I had sex in the begging of Jan. He had just returned from his out of state school, and i thought our relationship would rekindle. The last time i saw him he acted like a real jerk, so i decided to move on to a very nice young man that most women over look. When i found out i was pregnant i told my x and we went 2 the doctor. He was so pro abortion that he upset me and i told him to just let me take care of my baby by myself. He said he would help, but he told me not 2 tell any1 that the baby was his. He hasnt helped me with any prenatal care and even though i work, i think this is 1/2 his responsibility 2. I told my boyfriend and he seems ok with my situation! I didnt cheat on him so he really doesnt have much to be mad at. Am i being stingy to ask him to stay with me? Im just confused

No i have only slept with my x boyfriend, my new relationship is too fresh to even consider sex, and i need more info on child support b4 the baby is born

Answer 1

First of all I just wanted to say that you CAN do this! Second your ex sounds like a real piece of trash! If he doesn't want to be in the child's life then fine your both better off with out him. You can always take him to court thou after the baby is born to get child support that would be up to you.

Third your new boyfriend sound great! He's a keeper. Why would you think it would be wrong to want him to stay with you. If he's okay with everything and wants to be with you be happy about it.

Answer 2

First of all, congratulations, even though you may not feel so blessed at the moment, their is a reason for you to have this baby. The father of the child needs to be more responsible, and help take care and pay for the costs of having this child one way or another court ordered or by just stepping up and being and adult. However if you feel it is too much a waste of energy, and time and that he will ignore the responsibility either way then focus you energy on finding help to pay for the costs. If he was proabortion, then he probably won't be very helpful, so I would just start to find other options of financial support for young mothers.
You aren't stingy for asking your current boyfreind to stick with you, however if he does leave you have to realize if he stays he is also taking on that he should not be expected to take on the added responsibility of a child by force, but by choice and out of love.
Finally you don't need a man to help you, but it is wonderful if either one decides to step up and help . You can do this, and there are tons of resources for young mothers out there.

Answer 3

Aw hon, I'm sorry that he's doing that to you. He's not a good man though. And he wouldn't be much of a daddy either if he doesn't even want you to keep the child. He's being very selfish and that shows that even though you love him, that feeling is NOT mutual. I know it'll be hard, but that baby needs you, and you want him/her. Don't give up the child you want just because your selfish inconsiderate boyfriend is a dud when it comes to loving you and parenting. I would tell him that you aren't giving up your child and that you expect child support (which you can get him to pay you). I'm sorry that you're in this situation, but you've gotta keep your head up high and stay strong. It will be tough, yes. But you can't let him control you. Months from now, when you're holding your sweet little baby, you'll know you made the right choice. You'll see him/her smiling up at you one day and wanting YOU to comfort him/her.... and you'll just melt because that love is unique and beautiful. God bless you and I hope that everything works out for you. I wish you the best and hope that you and your baby find all the love you need from each other. =)

Answer 4

Well see my cousin had this delima to. First off you should make sure that you have the means take care of this child, and that you have some type of family members that can help you, cuz it will get rough. if you then decide to go with it and have it. you need to ask your ex. if he is going to be there or if he isn't and don't let him fool you. cause if he is asking you not to tell any one that this is his child he more or less doesn't want anything to do with it. so you might have to do this on your own. and if you boyfriend now doesn't mind being there with you through this, all the better. but remember there will be time when you think thats you can't do it anymore, or you feel like you don't want the child any more. in those time you should talk to someone really special to you. to help see you through it. but one you have the child. it's and experince that you wouldn't trade to the world for.

Answer 5

Well see my cousin had this delima to. First off you should make sure that you have the means take care of this child, and that you have some type of family members that can help you, cuz it will get rough. if you then decide to go with it and have it. you need to ask your ex. if he is going to be there or if he isn't and don't let him fool you. cause if he is asking you not to tell any one that this is his child he more or less doesn't want anything to do with it. so you might have to do this on your own. and if you boyfriend now doesn't mind being there with you through this, all the better. but remember there will be time when you think thats you can't do it anymore, or you feel like you don't want the child any more. in those time you should talk to someone really special to you. to help see you through it. but one you have the child. it's and experince that you wouldn't trade to the world for.

Answer 6

I don't understand -- how do you know whose baby it is if you have been with two men in a short timeframe?

If you are SURE that its your x-bf's baby, then put his name on the birth certificate and start the proceedings to seek child support starting immediately. You will need this money to help raise your baby.

You can' t make someone stay with you who doesn't want to just because you are pregnant. And if he acts like a jerk toward you, then he won't be much help to live with anyway, even if he is the baby's father.

But the baby's father IS legally required to pay for child support until the baby is 18. You can start the proceedings before the baby is born, so that you can start collecting from him as soon as the baby arrives.

Answer 7

Look if the new boyfriend is already okay with it then I would stay with him. Even if he knows that it's not his baby he maybe the kind of man that will still treat it like it's his. Don't worry about the ex until the baby is born then if he is one of them men that says his not the daddy then go get a DNA test prove it to him then take him to court to make him pay child support! That is about the best advice I can give to you! Good luck!

Answer 8

Your boyfriend that most "overlook" may be a diamond in the rough. A strong guy from how it sounds! Kudos to him for not running. For the baby's father that is trying to run, he's gonna have to face up to this one day anyway. Weather or not you have him around is your decision, but a child has the right to know both parents. Sounds like he's afraid of being judged since he got you pregnant. He's wanting to hide that this is his baby for some reason. You can have a paternity test done to prove he's the father then he cant dispute it, and will then be responsible for his share of the financial issues. Good luck to ya!
Congrats on the baby!!

Answer 9

Mistakes happend .Now you are pregnant at so young age I want to remind you that a baby an innocent creature can be very joyful but again too much responsabilite ..I dont know how far you are but you need to start organizing your time for him...and if I was you, just forget the biologiqul father help because I dont think he will help...but do something in writing right now because if you keeping the baby and taking completley care of him now you dont want a jerk like your x to came one day and demanding his rights..he can have them now by sharing all the responsabilite or forget about them forever....And enjoy your boyfriend if he is good for your baby ..after all we have seen so much poeple with more kids that have found happiness with other man ...why not you? beside at stage is almost like it was his..Dont be confused and start preparing for the little bundle of joy that will change your young life forever.

Answer 10

U r most definitely not being stingy for asking him to stay with u. He is staying with u cos he obviously feels very deep for u and wants to stand by u through thick and thin. As for ur ex, if he doesnt want to play a role in ur babys life u cant force him too. It may be 1/2 his responsibility but you would be better without him there at all if he only wats to be apart of ur babys life when he wants to b. Im not saying it in a mean way but truthfully u dont wat guy like that in ur life and ur babys life because it will only cause fights, bring trouble and confuse ur baby when he/she grows older. If you have some1 willing to love u n the baby, support u and stick by your side (it doesnt neccessarily mean a guy, could be ur mum or family!) you then u dont need ur ex to help (remember there r tons of woman who do this alone). Although he mite be the biologicle father he doesnt hav to b apart of ur babys life. REMEMBER he doesnt even want ppl to know that the baby is his! Now y should the baby hav a father that isnt even proud enough to let ppl no thathe/she is theirs. This baby is a gift not a burden! The baby deserves better than that and so do u.
And as for ur age, dont worry. I know it might sound scary to have a baby at ur age but it willonly get better as ur pregnancy goes on. At times u will hav ups n downs but that is all totally normal, its all part of ur pregnancy. But wen the day ur baby is born it will be the happiest day of ur life. Trust me. I am 19 yrs old and i hav a 7month baby boy.I got pregnant wen i was 18 and it was scary at the beginning not knowing what to expect, but once u start buying baby cloths for them and reading up on pregnancy and wat 2 expect IT ONLY GETS BETTER! : ) Sorry 4 making this so long :p and i hope i helped a little bit! Take care.