how come it seems everyone likes things to be sugar coated? why cant alot of people handle facts/opinions raw

Question

i dont mean every single person but ive found if you dont sugar coat facts an opinions people get offended, like they cant handle it. but if you sugar coat it like you were speaking to a child its ok?

Answer 1

This is such a good question... I have struggled with this for a lifetime.. and find that it's okay for the adult world to do this with children, but not okay for children to be honest about their feelings and facts with them. I think it starts in childhood, with authority figures. I think that honestly is a threat to their own power, perceptions, status, stability, etc. and if there is any kind of self esteem issue at all, or emotional instability, which it seems most people have in some degree, this brings out their defenses. I have contemplated for so long, what the answer is to this? I think to be safe, as to lesson the threat or blow, I tend to cushion it between something positive about them, so they are not as apt to take this personal. . they are more receptive when they don't go into defense (fight back) mode... I love it when I meet someone secure, whom I don't have to sugar coat, or butter it up for them.. they know I have honest, sensitive intentions, and are not threatened by my honestly... I'm guessing they are looking to grow and learn, and to be objective, and know that honesty can get them there. I believe this takes great maturity, and a strong sense of themselves. . self esteem. . and inner strength that comes from a stable background in their lives.. this is soooo hard to find in someone!! I think that much of the world has to much inner craziness. . it takes alot of work to undo what others have done to us... there are great books written about self actualization, for those who want to grow to have this maturing inner focus toward an honest reality... the first books I read on this journey, were written by Wayne Dyer... Your Erroneous Zones... Pulling your own strings... etc..

Answer 2

because they cant handle the truth or dont want to hear it these people are the ones that when the doctor walks in they smile and say whats the good news doc and when the doc looks at them and says you have a deadly something they go ok so how can i make this go away. These people dont want to hear anything bad because if they do they might realize not everything is as perfect as they want it to be which is why they throw up the defense of being offended but while i feel that the truth should be told feelings get hurt sh!t happens in life and its not always easy street im sure to them nobody has really been hurt in the war and that everyone has the best life but yet thats false as well with lots of people sleeping on the street and kids starving but hey thats life and they cant handle it which is tough because i dont sugar coat stuff unless im talking to an innocent kid

Answer 3

I agree with you because I've had that thought myself. However, putting ones SELF in those shoes of needing sugar coated tones and expressive communication, what if you readily used your nice tones around a family member and then turned around to speak with a friend without coating it, your friend would be offended. One expresses ones SELF in the familiar with those that one knows and is able to use a more matter of fact tone with others. Would you want your mom or dad or a close friend to express themselves to you in an unsugar coated manner? Instead you would be offended as well to think that someone else had an attitude other than favorable.

Answer 4

The truthful opinion is not what they seek. They want every single person in the world to think like them. They also like answers that approve of what they think. I think it sucks! To quote a well known actor, "they can't handle the truth". Todays morals have went to H E double toothpicks. The truth also makes them take a hard look at their behavior which scares the heck out of them. Consequences will result & I wonder how they will handle that. Probably not too good.

Answer 5

Yes, I see this all the time and it's a real pet peeve of mine. There's nothing wrong with calling things they way they are. My favorite saying is "It is what it is".
This has become a huge problem in our society, in my opinion.
We are too concerned with being politically correct so as to not offend somebody's fragile ego and sense of self.
Some people just haven't matured to the point that they can see things in the proper perspective and separate feelings from fact.

Answer 6

Personally, I would order 2 eggs, upfront, blunt and honest with a side order of sugar coating. I want my friends to be real, honest and funny... and they are.

Answer 7

I don't believe in sugarcoating things, but I do think it's a good idea to try to use tact. You CAN be tactful and frank at the same time. That being said, though, I'm often tactless myself, and that has made me very unpopular with some people.

Answer 8

sounds like these "sugar" people are not comfortable with themselves. If you are dealing with an emotionally stable person, you do not have to say it nice, u can say it the way it is.

Answer 9

I'm not sure if we're on the same page, but life can be rough and depressing for some of us, so we look for the good in things, the silver lining at the edge of dark clouds.

Answer 10

Perhaps their inner children haven't fully developed, and they can't accept the real truth because it's too hard and complicated for them. Don't take it as something that you're doing wrong. Different strokes for different folks, ya know?