This is for women!If you have a great realationship with your husband, What makes it great?

Question

I have a hard time getting my pride and selfishness out of the way when I am mad. Does that mean the love is lost?

Answer 1

Answering the second question first, no. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can't get angry. It's how you act when you're angry that really shows whether your relationship is of love or something else.
I would consider my relationship with my husband great. Though it's definitely not because we're always happy with each other. I've had more than a fair share of frustration, but one of our strongest points is that no matter how much one might get irritated, our marriage isn't about "fixing" or "training" the other person. Love is always seperate from whether we agree on a certain point or not.
Finally, about your personal note. Everybody is always going to have a bit of pride and selfishness, whether they admit it or not. This is another case of how you respond makes it wrong or right. It's hard, but when you're wrong admit it. If you need to, just tell your husband you need to cool off and do it. I know I have a hard time (literally) speaking right after being extremely upset. Probably a good thing, aside from driving my husband batty, it gives me time to get a better focus on what happened and is happening.

Answer 2

It doesn't mean that love is lost it just means that you need to work to improve your response and reaction to stressful and negative things. It's normal - but it's so worth it! Pride and selfishness won't be your soulmate, your lover, your best friend - but your husband can and will. It's not worth holding on to pride and losing the loving relationship. We're all human and we're all proud to some degree but without hard work no relationship stays alive. And hard work sometimes means that we need to improve ourselves, not our beloved (or not only him.). Anyway I am very happily married to my husband and we both have pride issues but we try to view it this way. Pride won't give you anything but false satisfaction for a few minutes. Love gives you everything. So why choose pride? Break the ice before it's too late. If you get into an argument - stop and think before you say anything (or talk instead of becoming stubborn and quiet..it's my biggest problem lol!). Do not leave the room when you're upset and don't run away, also don't let hubby do the same. No leaving the room until reconciliation. If you're mad tell him you're mad but speak and let him speak too.
Good luck!

Answer 3

I do have a great relationship with my husband because we have a good communcation and we talk things out. He loves me for me dispite my looks and I know I can trust him. Whenever I'm down he always makes me laugh and he's good at that. He's got a great personality and that's what drew me to him. He's a very sweet guy and we get along really well. The one thing that makes our marriage special is we have a lot in common and we were best friends before we got together and still are. Sure we've had our ups and downs but what couple doesn't. We always manage to talk it out and get over it. We get along a lot of the times and we love each other. We survied a 2 month long distance in the beginning and almsot 5 years later it's gotten a lot better. Each day I fall more and more in love with him. It's easy to get mad at each other w do get mad but not at each other about our lives and the living situation but we have to try not to take it out on each other. We struggle but because we want to work it out we do. your loves not lost you just need to learn to control your selfishness and pride and you can do it if you really want to. It would make you a better person and improve on your marriage. My husband has a temper problem but it's better now that he's worked on it and you could change if you really wanted to.

Answer 4

We talk about everything. We tell each other how we honestly think and feel about situations that come up and completely trust one another. We have both had to learn that it's okay to be wrong sometimes and to let the other one get their way. Compromise is key. It's something you'll have to work on with yourself about letting your pride and selfishness go. Love is not lost - it may just be hiding right now, but you can find it if you are willing to let your husband help look.

Answer 5

what makes it great as that he and i both work at it together. we do not fight and argue and we also learn not to be selfish. We also treat each other the way that we would want to be treated by them. You have problems like we all do . you just need to work on it to make you a better wife to your husband and for you marriage. The more you work and practive at it the better it will become. I wsh you the best and no the love is not lost at all in your relationship. Just needs some work that is all. Here comes lots of hugs to you today and if you need to talk i am here.

Answer 6

I think true love is hard to loose... BUT everytime you argue or act in a selfish way be it male or female I believe the relationship takes little hits and they add up...and yes overtime even true love can take so many hits that it just can't hold up

Communication is the key.... If you are angry walk away My husband and I take 5 minutes or more than come back.......

Try to get the "me" factor out of it that is selfish and marrige is a partnership

I have had this printed on my desk since 1999

LISTEN

L-earn to check/ reflect on feelings expressed by your partner
I-ndulge in regular routine conversation
S-pend time to communicate
T-alk about topics that are mutually satisfying
E-xplore flexible and creative ways of communication
N-urture a wider scope of conversation and the places where it can take place

Answer 7

My husband and I have a great relationship. I think it's great because we are honest and we communicate if an issue arises. We are each others best friend and that helps to keep our relationship strong. If there is one thing I've learned it's don't go to bed angry. Try not to get so upset especially over the little things. They are not worth it. We don't know how much time we have with each other in the world, but do your best to make every day count! :)

Answer 8

No, this is normal. Take one step at a time. Focus on releasing your anger. Make yourself smile when you feel like yelling at everyone. Realize that when you focus on anger and selfishness that you are only hurting yourself. I have learned that by giving more, I get more, so in the end we are both more happy. I have a happy relationship b/c of regardless of how angry we become, we can laugh it off. Try breaking up the anger with a joke or a stupid noise....I know it sounds dumb...but being goofy will make you feel more light-hearted and soothe that anger. Don't think that your relationship is doomed. Relationships take work, and a lot of it, but don't give up until you've really tried!

Answer 9

I think what makes mine and my husband's relationship great is that we communicate with each other. We don't let pride get in the way of telling each other what we really think and feel. We also put our marriage as our top priority, yes, even before our children at times. We spend time together, and we genuinely enjoy doing so. But none of this is easy, especially in today's world. It's very easy to get wrapped up in one's own career, and one's own life, and then you become what my husband calls "2 single people living together." Marriage is more than sharing a joint checking account and responsibility for the bills, it's becoming a team.

I can tell you that pride and selfishness are sure marriage killers, and they do a pretty good number on love as well. The only one who knows if your wife still loves you (and is IN love with you--2 separate things) is your wife. If you know that you struggle with being selfish and pride, then work on that. When you find yourself concentrating on how something affects you, stop and think instead how this is affecting your wife. I think that's another thing that makes my marriage work, before I do or commit to almost anything, I will think how my doing this will affect my husband's life and his day to day activities. I know he does the same. Yes, it's harder to do this when you're angry, when you're angry people do tend to simply focus on themselves, but you know this is a fault of yours (and yes, it's a fault) so when you find yourself doing it, stop, and turn it around and think instead of your wife. I think you'll find even if you're not sure she's still in love with you, that you can re-kindle those feelings--probably pretty quick too, and if she is still in love with you, she'll fall even more in love with you. What's more, she'll like being around you a heck of alot more.

Answer 10

No, it just means you have some character flaws you need to work on. We all do. My relationship with my husband is awesome, and it's because we are always thinking of ways to make the other happy. Unselfishness will get you far in any relationship and is the easiest way to a happy marriage (as long as both partners are this way, but it's pretty catching!)