Have you ever snooped behind your spouse?

Question

Check his/her e-mails, went through their wallet or purse, checked the call history on their cell phone bill, followed them when they left he/she left the house, eavesdropped on their phone conversations, asked his/her friend's wife/husband to keep an eye on him/her when he/she is around, setup a fake online profile of another man/woman to see if they would fall into the trap, installed a spy program or keylogger on the computer to see exactly what they were doing when you weren't around?

What was the outcome of doing these things?

Answer 1

It's probably done more than anyone admits. I've had that done to me by my ex but she never found anything. I'm not sure if there is anything on that list of yours that wasn't done to me. It sucks to be treated that way and it shows a huge lack of trust and respect.
If you're doing it to confirm your suspicions then I can't fault anyone for doing a little snooping. If you're making a habit of it then you should just call it quits on your marriage.
The outcome of this is you drive your spouse into more covert behavior because they are sick of being spied on. That in turn makes the snooper want to spy even more. It's a vicious cycle that never stops.

Answer 2

when you put your time and effort to snoop you're going to find something whether is something there or not .. the time you're spending snooping is taking from the time you could be spending enhansing your relationship planning that surprise dinner, date ,outing whatever .. your partner's not stupid either because with the suspicion comes the suspicious attitude and the thing that's worst than being accused of a crime you didn't commit is being treated like you committed a crime an not told why you're being treated that way.. you ever had your partner ask you what's wrong with you more than 2 times a week .. snoop around an be suspicious you're going to destroy your relationship .. Ignorance is bliss... don't believe me . remember when you were a kid got an allowance and didn't know how much the cable bill - electric and mortgagte was - you just knew you had a nice house - could watch what you wanted and used as much utilites as you wanted .. pull the plug on your happiness if you like .. what are you going to do if you find something anyway ..give the other person the win...you should do everything in your power to have your partner concentrate on what you're doing because you get what you put into things..

Answer 3

Has this person given you a reason to not trust him? If not, you need to stop doing this, as they will end up leaving you. I got divorced for this very reason. I was accused everyday of having an affair. I was accused of having an affair at work, and I worked with nothing but men!?! I never once gave the ex a reason to not trust me. I went to work everyday, came home, spent time with my kids and her, and lived a normal life. Every month I had to make a copy of my work cell phone bill to bring to her. I will say that the last two years of my marriage, I spent maybe one hour on the internet, total. It just wasn't worth it. She would check the history, then accuse me of erasing the history, and I hadn't even been on the computer.

So, my advice to you is to stop. I left the marriage, and am 1000X happier now. This person will likely do the same. If you have trust issues, you need to seek counseling, as it likely has nothing to do with the other person. And, I am not talking couple's counseling, but individial counseling for you.

What you are doing is wrong, and talking to a friend's spouse was way over the line. Get some help or plan on going through a divorce.

Answer 4

I have purchased a keylogger from this keylogger site:
http://www.relytec.com
a year ago to monitor my kids.
One day while checking the logs, i found some interesting info about my spouse.
I did not tell him about the keylogger.
The keylogger logged his chats with some women he works with - Chats that were not about job issues...
After reading the chats i realized that i have some part in the problem.
I realized that with all the works and kids i do not pay him attention at all.

In conclusion, i think the keylogger might save my marriage.
In may case it worked for the best.

Answer 5

My spouse was caught in a lie (that was not serious) but it made me need to check up on a few things to ease my mind since the lie caused me a great deal of turmoil/depression - my counselor said checking on where they were going was a ease to my mind - she agreed that checking a few things helped. I have found nothing and I feel so much better

Answer 6

I made up a completely different email account and went onto a dating site that I thought my boyfriend was on and BINGO, yup I got a response from him to my fack ID.

Result,I showed him the door and as much as it still hurts, I'll never ever have him back. Once the trust is gone, ITS GONE, if he did it to me, he'll do it to the next. Overall I have found men just love the novelty of the sex on-line and the buzz it gives them when a woman accepts their b...s...profiles.
If one ever feels the need to spy, then one shouldnt be in the relationship.

Answer 7

I would never spy or anything but I agree with the person that mentioned curiousity......

Me and my boyfriend (we live together) have each others passwords and stuff...and we both have access to our cell phone bills online and things like that....we don't hide anything...that is just stupid........those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

Overall though, no, I do not go through his things......

Answer 8

I check his voice mail on a regular basis..and if i didnt check i wouldnt know what i know now....that he had a girl buy him sneakers..and he texted this girl he knew for a while telling her he wanted to have sex with her..and she reply by leaving him a VM telling him she wanted to do it ..and it would be his christmas gift..and that she missed him...i confornted him about that message..and i know he wasnt totally honest with me.....and yes i have my friend call him and pretend to be interested in him and he has fallen for it...i cant forgive him and i cant forget...we are still together an he has changed his cell phone number but not the password..and I WILL keep on checking... as of right now..i havent heard anything suspicous..

Answer 9

i think there is being curious about what your partner does and then there is being a snoop. i dont think that there is anything wrong with looking around but when it comes to the keylogger and things like that, well if u have to o to that extreme then u dont trust them and u shouldnt be with them.

Answer 10

This would drive even me crazy. If you feel there is a need to do this, then this isn't the problem. We all have trust issues, but are you guilty of something? Sometimes people are so suspicious because they are guilty of something themselves. Don't do it, try to talk it out. Be calm while you do it though.