My Girlfriend's fiance has a ex in which they have a child but they have been apart for almost 4 years now because my friend is with him 3 1/2 years now in which they also have a child together.
What i want to know is: Y everytime he's back home because he's in the navy, his ex keep texting about things like why did u leave me & stuff like that?
Is it me alone who finds this kind of behaviour annoying? Be real, it's been almost 4 years now. What does it take for someone to see that there's nothing there for them anymore.
2007-02-07 03:24:05 · 17 answers · asked by fancyface 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, when there are children involved, contact with an ex has to occur unless the ex is legally barred or otherwise unable or unwilling to have a relationship with the child involved. It sounds like he has contact with the ex of necessity (you didn't say whether the first child is in his or the ex's custody) . For the child's sake, it would be important to maintain good relations with the ex so the child does not feel untoward repercussions and start choosing sides. This is why it is a very good idea to think long and hard before having children. The child ties the man to his ex and he bears an added responsibility that your friend has to accept if she is to be part of his life. The ex, however, sounds like she hasn't found anyone in her life and is trying to regain what she lost--not an unheard of scenario; she needs counseling and she needs to make sure it doesn't affect her child adversely.
You might tell your friend that the child he had with his ex is important to him and might be the main reason he has contact with the ex (or she can ask), but that she should absolutely not use the child in some sort of popularity war between her and the ex. The child will grow up the better for having two mommies in a sense that are amicable and not at each other's throats. The ex does need to see the light on the clingy bit though and realize the new situation is how it must be, especially if the man already has a child with your friend as well.
2007-02-07 05:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by Black Dog 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an unresolved issue there that hasn't been worked out. Also, she (the ex) has a constant reminder of the man within her child- she's connected to him for life. It's up to the man to cut the personal ties down to only dealings of the child. There might be a reason he does not do this as well. The behavior is annoying, but unfortunately just showing how insecure and little self esteem the ex has. Very sad.
2007-02-07 03:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by Peace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not wish that situation on anyone! There is no closure for her. Not because she wants it that way. There is a reason she can not see. Would be nice of him to give her the closure she needs to get on with her life and her child's. Your friend is in the dark to. This situation is not right. And your friend needs to know. Before it is to late for her. Good luck to her and the ex!
2007-02-07 03:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just don't want to let go or they like to keep things stirred up. Four years is a long time to mourn the loss of an ex. Maybe she needs to get some help. If he hasn't made any steps to get back with her I wouldn't worry about it.
2007-02-07 03:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by devilgal031948 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some women are clingy because the have low self esteems and dont want to lose the person and they cling and hold on too tight. There are also some men like this too. There are also some men and women who dont hold on at all and they dont even seem to care and they hold on too loosely. there has to be a middle ground here if you know what i mean. She may need counseling and help to get over him and to learn to let go and move on with her life.
2007-02-07 03:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she wants the father of her squids at home where they belong, with her... well thats her twisted female logic in action.
my x wife tried to use our kids as teh obligatory weapon.. do this do that do the other...
i did what i wanted to do, which was get away from the twisted witch as fast as i could... i see my kids and we have a good relationship, ones 26 the other 24...
and now that they're older they can understand it wasnt dad being a monster, it was mum trying to manipulate the scenario to her own ends.. she wanted her cake, to eat it and send me the bill...
she must have really been devoted to our kids, as teh moment J was 14 she buggered off to sheffield...abandoning them... i found out when J turned up on my doorstep.. he stayed for 9 months... and not once did she phone to ask if they were alive..let alone safe and well.
2007-02-07 03:35:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some?! It's most!
It's nice to know that you're not one of them. I can't understand why so many women don't realise that squeezing too tightly kills a relationship or, at best, makes it so difficult to breathe in.
When will they ever learn that a man needs to be able to (atleast) THINK that he's still a free spirit!?!
2007-02-07 03:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don;t want kids just becasuse I can't guarantee I'd be with their father for ever. I think I'd be the same, if Ihad kids I'd expect the father to be with me forever.
2007-02-07 04:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by Skippy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe shes lonely and jealous if she met somebody else that she loved that behaviour would stop.
and both men and women can be clingy just women dont tend to know how to control it....
2007-02-07 03:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Believe me Women and Men are both eqully as clingy. Men just hide it better.
'-)
2007-02-07 03:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋