I'm 25 and lost my virginity to my boyfriend (who is 38) almost 1 year ago.From the beginning he has said it's special for him to be my first and that he's honored and all that,but I can't help always thinking that I suck in bed,or that I may not be pleasing him or that he's comparing me in his mind with other women he's been with.We're very good at communicating so I've told him my worries and thoughts and he always reassures me that it's great with me and that he loves knowing everything I've done I've only done with him but I still wonder if it's frustrating for him to be a sort of sexual teacher at his age.I can't help it bothering me sometimes that he's been with many women, and had so much experience, while I've only been with him and still feel so new at the whole sex thing.I'm afraid that he'll cheat,even though he reassures me that he won't because he loves only me, and I'm scared I'm going to hurt our relationship with all my worrying and not trusting him.Any advice? Thanks.
2007-02-07 03:17:09 · 8 answers · asked by ConfusedHMD 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hey don't worry. Just relax. the more you think about it the more you are going to not feel comfortable about having sex. While you are doing it ask him what he likes, tell him what you like. Everybody is different and everybody likes different things. Even though somebody is experienced that does not mean they know everything that you like. relax and talk about things while you are doing it. It can be very fun too. My boyfiend tells me when im doing something that he does not enjoy or i ask if he likes it. He is honest with me and i am with him. Relax and enjoy
2007-02-07 03:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by rain9439 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As maturity came for me, my views and opinions of virginity changed...be'ing male, and virgin, and young, and courious, and charged up hormonaly, was SO confusing.
There is an underlaying attrition to be'ing virgin, and ageing into maturity...where 'experiance' then became the point of 'confusion', uncertinty, and inquisitiveness. I couldnt 'win'..for looseing!
The eventual result was insecurity.. I felt more 'self- assured 'working' than i felt for my partner, and consequently, severly complicated our intimate relationship...with distractions of working..ect. I have no advice, but i do have an invitation worth considering...communicate to your partner that your years of chastity have filled you with couriositys and you would apreciate his experiance while you explore the sexuality's of your selves...then, with gusto, do so.
His self esteem will rize accordinly, yours will absolutly flourish, and your relationship will reach another level spiritually that will astonish you both. Far better that 'that' part pf both your 'humanity's' reach a mutual maturity, than that one or the other of you 'not'.
Wether or not thats a female agregate in the equation of sexuality or not, i dont know...but now, at my age, it seems to be a relitive elliment in many relationships ...your uncertinty seems familure.
Obviously, 'life' has some futureistic aplications, ... this isnt the time to postpone lessons relitive to tomorrows yet to come...get started with the 'funest' of the best of love while your in the developmental arena of it all..!!
2007-02-07 12:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by olddogwatchin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying. Did you know that your actions will follow you? I mean if your worried he'll cheat on you then he will. Stop worrying. He's reinsured you that everythings fine and he's ok with you not being experienced. You need to trust that he means it. Just stop worrying about it and listen to him when he tells you that. He loves you for you and doesn't care that he was the first guy you slept with. That's great some guys out there are different. My husband was the first guy that I slept with and he had sex when he was 18 but with one person but still the point is is that he loves you and doesn't care that you aren't experienced in sex now you need to stop worry and listen to him when he tells you that. I think it's great that he doesn't care about that and he loves you for you. Over time you will get better. I was bad when I first did it with my husband but over the years I learned from him and got better. Stop worrying about it and be happy ok?
2007-02-07 11:34:01 · answer #3 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax... The whole point of sex is to feel good together. If you're busy worrying about it, how will you ever be able to enjoy it? I know your question is oriented toward *his* pleasure, but part of intimacy is knowing that your partner is also sharing that same pleasure. One of the best gifts you can give him is to relax and let him know you love the way he makes you feel. All the rest (technique/experience) will happen in it's own time.
2007-02-07 11:27:03 · answer #4 · answered by selena n 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All virgins are bad their first few times of having sex. You have to get experience and that takes time. Don't worry about him cheating unless he's given you a reason to. Of course he's happy that he's the first one you've had sex with it. Your a virgin meaning you have no STD's or diseases. But hopefully he does care about you enough to not cheat on you. Trust him until he gives you a reason not to.
2007-02-07 11:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For heaven's sake, girl. The man has reassured you on every point. Why are you still worried? Your fussing and fretting is going to cause more trouble than your inexperience.
2007-02-07 11:23:00 · answer #6 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should feel proud of your self that u only been with one guy. and its someone that you love. the whole ideal is that ur making LOVE to someone you honsetly can say u love and he loves you back. im 36 yrs old been with 2 men my whole life. And i been with the same man for 21yrs. i was young and i only slept with one before my husband. ( and my 1st was not something to brag about) i wish my husband would of been my 1 and only. Just go with ur heart and try differnt things with him if u want. im sure he will stay with u if he truely loves you. not all men are pigs that go looking if they arent pleased. good luck
2007-02-07 11:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down Hun. You waited so long though to give it to him, I hope he plans on spending the rest of his life with you.
2007-02-07 11:48:10 · answer #8 · answered by Pretty Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋