too young to have a baby? - (revised)?

Question

ok .. i asked this before .. and after reading what everyone had to say made me realize i forgot to write a few things. i have been with my bf for a year. he has lived with me and my dad for the last 8 months. we were friends in hs. anyway, im 20 and hes 21. we want to have a baby bad. he makes a go0d amount of money and i do part time work .. however, in highschool i went to vocational school where i got my certification as a certified home health aid. i have a good education, and can get a good paying job. i am actually going to be going to school within the next few months to become a medical assistant. my dad isnt sick as to where he isnt able to do things. he just has emphysema becuz he smokes entirely too much. anywayyy, i always tell him when i get married and move out i will always bring him with me. i know im not too young to have a baby .. but i do know i am responsible, capable, and mature enough to have a baby. the only problem is getting a bigger place + more $ i will w8

Answer 1

What do you consider "good money" ? If he was making that much you would not have to live at home with your father. Finish school, get a career, a stable home of your own, then think about a baby. Why be in such a rush? 20 is very young and you should enjoy your youth. Go on trips, go out, etc. Relax, you have all the time in the world to have a baby.

Answer 2

I am a single mom with two children. I had my first daughter at 20 and apparantly I didn't get the first time because I had my second at 24. It is the toughest thing to be a single parent but I have a great family support system. My advice to you is to get married first. Do not have children unless you are married AND you are able to live on one income so that you are able to stay home with the child(ren). I know this sounds archaic but it is truly the best way to have a family. Also, I would not allow any smoking around you while your are pregnant or around the baby. Smoke & second hand smoke is terrible for your body (especially a growing baby).

Being a parent is a huge responsibility and your life will change forever. Nothing as you know it will ever be the same again. Personally I think you are both too young to start a family because chances are you are each discovering who you are as an individual. Develop your talents, find out who you are as a person and what you want out of life. If you want something to nurture then start out with a puppy. Trust me, if I could turn back time I would have waited to have children until marriage. Not only do I suffer, but my children suffer from not having a father.

Answer 3

Money will always pose as a problem when you have a child. I take care of my parents as well, although I'm 23 and my fiancee is 26. We're not married yet and not rushed to get married because we want to be financially stable first. Plus, not having a marriage license doesn't mean that the baby will not grow up in a united home with a loving family (we've been together 7 years and I'm the one who wishes to wait). While you are educated and have a good paying job, you must realize that things can happen --one of you could lose your jobs or fall ill, and then the financial stability you thought you had suddenly crumbles. Then what happens? I suggest you start a savings account neither one of you will touch for a year or so, just as an emergency fund. To bring a baby into a life where it will be deprived of necessary things is unbearable to the parents. You can wait...and then you'll be much happier when you can give your child all the things you never had.

Answer 4

I don't think 20 is too young to have kids. I had my first baby at that age. It all depends on the maturity level and stability. I do think if you are planning to go that far with your boyfriend and have a baby with him, you should get married first. Also, babies exposed to cigarette smoke suffer a lot of ear infections and it just isn't plain good for them so make sure your father doesn't smoke around the little munchkin (he must smoke outside!). If you know that you are ready to have a baby then you already have your answer. Just remember, you will never sleep again. Babies cause major sleep deprivation. My daughter didn't sleep through the night for the first 3 1/2 years. I got an average of maybe 3 or 4 hours of INTERRUPTED sleep a night. Personally, too, I would wait until all the schooling was finished. Get that all out of the way so you can pay all your attention on the little one.

Answer 5

You know honestly i am 21 and 32 weeks pregnant with my first. Let me tell you if you are waiting until you are "ready and have enough money" that will never happen! It is so expensive and the prices only rise.

I don't think you are too young, my best friend had a baby while we were in HS, i mean she missed prom, b/c she was in the hospital! Now, she has two kids now and they are well taken care of and want for nothing! They have everything they could want. As far as a place that you may want to save up for that and then have kids, but at first all you need is a place to put a bassinet and then a crib, the baby really doesn't need his/her own bedroom until they get out of the crib...you can keep him in your room if all else fails for the time being!

Good Luck!

Answer 6

No one here can tell you if your ready or not, no one knows you here. If you think your ready, you would know that the best.
The only suggestion I'd have is wait till your in a marriage, something solid enough, that includes a job, for one or both of you. Something stable enough that when baby does come somewhere down the line you would have already established creating a home and life for the two of you and are ready for a new addition.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

Just a thought, if you're asking if your to young, then maybe your not ready. Sounds like you have a lot going on with your life. Maybe see about allowing things with your life, and your Dads, mellow a bit. If your Dads is sick, emphysema, makes one sick! I hate to point that out. Does he still smoke, do you want your new baby to be in the same nasty air? There are a lot of things that you and this guy should talk about first. I do think you should marry first.

Answer 8

I don't think you are too young to have a baby, however if you plan on going to school for a medical assistant I think you should do that first and then get an established job and get a bigger place before you have a baby. It is going to be hard to go to college while you are pregnant and then have a newborn. I really think it is in your best interest to accomplish those few things first before trying to get pregnant. Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

Well, you could have a baby, but 20 is pretty young. Enjoy life for a while! Having a baby at 24 or 30 might be even better because you'll be better established and more ready to enjoy it.

Be with your boyfriend for a while longer. Relationships can come and go. Babies are irreversible.

Answer 10

ALL I CAN SAY IS YOU ARE YOUNG, YOU DON'T NEED TO RUSH. YOU SAID YOU ARE GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL....GET THAT DONE SO YOU CAN GET THE GOOD PAYING JOB, THEN GET A BIGGER HOUSE, GET MARRIED, THEN HAVE CHILDREN. IF YOU WORK HARD AT IT, YOU MAY HAVE YOUR FIRST CHILD IN 3-4 YEARS, MAYBE SOONER. YOU HAVE TO FIRST GET YOUR LIFE SITUATED WITH AS FEW HASSELS AS POSSIBLE, AND IF YOU HAVE KIDS BEFORE YOU HAVE A GOOD JOB AND A BIGGER HOUSE, YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO GET TO WHERE YOU WISH YOU WERE. I'VE BEEN MARRIED A YEAR, AND I TOO WANT TO HAVE KIDS BADLY RIGHT NOW, BUT I HAVE THINGS THAT I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF FIRST. I WANT TO GET ALL MY BILLS CAUGHT UP AND SOME OF THEM PAID OFF, SAVE UP SOME MONEY FOR BUYING NEW THINGS FOR THE BABY, AND MY HUSBAND NEEDS TO GET THINGS SITUATED WITH THE HOUSE. WE ARE SELLING OUR HOUSE BECAUSE HE HAS IT MADE FOR 2 FAMILIES (ONE ON MAIN FLOOR AND AN APARTMENT IN THE BASEMENT) AND WE JUST NEED A DIFFERENT HOUSE. I AM 25 AND AS LONG AS I HAVE ONE BY 28, I'LL BE HAPPY. BUT UNTIL THEN, WE HAVE STUFF TO DO AND WORKING ON GETTING IT DONE SO THAT WHEN WE DO HAVE KIDS, EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD SAILING AND WE WILL HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. HE HAS ALREADY TOLD ME THAT WHEN WE HAVE KIDS, HE DOESN'T WANT ME WORKING UNTIL THEY ARE IN SCHOOL. THAT MEANS A LOT OF STUFF HAS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF AND PAID OFF SO THAT WE CAN LIVE OFF OF JUST HIS INCOME. I WOULD HIGHLY SUGGEST WAITING. GET EVERYTHING TAKEN CARE OF, GET YOURSELF ON GOOD GROUNDS WITH A GOOD PAYING JOB AND A BIGGER HOUSE, THEN WORRY ABOUT HAVING KIDS. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!