My husband is 14 yrs older than me and i am 24 going on 25.When we met he was my bosses boss and we still work for the same company.Problem is his smoking 6 packs of cigeretts a day at least this has been going on before we met but he tries to hide it? week ago he had a heart attack and while at the hospital we learned he has lung cancer!Why wont my hubby talk to me about this?In fact he is now smoking more than before!Why is he smoking more now more than ever?
2007-02-07 02:03:19 · 34 answers · asked by Melrose G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really love my hubby but he wont even let me be around when he is speaking to the doctor and made me sit outside when he has an appointment with the doctor.
2007-02-07 02:06:57 · update #1
No joke he wakes up in the middle of the night to smoke it has only recently gotten this bad usually the amount will flucuate with his mood or stress level.
2007-02-07 02:10:17 · update #2
That's just crazy! 6 packs a day??? He must chain smoke non-stop to do that.
I understand you love your husband, but your outlook is bleak. I do not want to come across as rude, but I sure hope he had life insurance before this heart attack. Unless he is willing to quit smoking, he is going to die. If he loves you and wants to be around to live life with you, he will quit.
2007-02-07 02:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope he has good life and medical insurance. He's going to die if he keeps this up.
It's time for you to set your foot down and threaten to divorce him and take everything if he won't stop smoking.
If the doctor says the cancer is so bad that he's going to die soon, you might as well leave him to smoke himself to death. Just make sure he has a good life insurance policy so you will have money after he's dead.
i got that bad once where i was getting up at night and having a smoke, but soon realized that i was killing myself faster that way and had reduced breathing capacity.
I used those patches to cut down i went from 4 packs a day to just 1 pack and i do that pack usually in the early morning when i'm having my morning coffee.
2007-02-07 02:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all I am sorry that you are on this situation, but if your hubby wont quit smoking,there must be a reason for it,even if he only smoke a pack a day. Your husband is in so much pressure from work and for him to calm himself is by smoking. Your husband loves you that is why he don't want you to hear the bad things that his doctor is saying. Just be there for him and do try to find his cigarette and throw it away,...god will be with you!!!
2007-02-07 02:14:49 · answer #3 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's smoking more now because he's stressed and smoking is calming. I would know, I've been a smoker since I was 15. He also already has cancer, why stop now? He already has it- that's probably how he views it. You should bring it up; tell him your concerns and ask him to at least cut back. It's hard to quit but maybe with your loving support he can cut back to 5 packs a day, then 4... so on so forth. I wish you the best, good luck!
2007-02-07 02:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Melrose G,
I suspect that your husband is really scared and is suffering quite a bit of anxiety. I can't imagine finding out all that life changing news at one time. Smoking is a very hard thing to quit. especially when things(life) are going rough. Smoking actually calms the nerves and helps you to deal with stress, while at the same time killing you. I know, I smoke too. I have asthma and I have worked in the health care field for about 9 years. I see people all the time on oxygen, that can barely take a breath, but they still smoke. My aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she smoked until she died (note:there was nothing they could do to save her anyway, smoking helped her to deal with her last days) Still I Smoke. Doesn't make much sense does it? When I make up my mind that I am really ready to quit, and totally put it in God's hands, then, He will take the smoking urge from me. I don't know how severe your husbands condition is. Can he be healed? If so, first thing I would do is go to the Lord in prayer. He can fix anything if you will believe in Him(If it is His will)Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. This scripture has brought me through many trials. Second, encourage your husband, let him know, that you know, it is very hard for him, and that you will try to help him in anyway that you can. At the same time, remind him in a gentle way that all these things affect your life too. After all, you are his wife. But no matter how tough things get, Don't give up on your marriage. You were joined together by God. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. If you keep trying with all your heart and mind, and place God at the center of your world (good and bad). I can promise you ,by His Word, that all things will work for the good. God Bless you and your husband. I'll pray for you both. You pray too. O.K.? I know it will be a battle for the both of you, but just keep on keeping on, and soon, everything will be O.K. Sorry So Long, I just feel your pain and fear.
God Loves You Both,
Itchy
2007-02-07 02:54:58 · answer #5 · answered by itchy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That is an insane amount of cigarettes to smoke. I have never heard of someone smoking that much! He may be smoking this much because he has resigned to the fact that he is going to die. He figures that smoking makes him happy, so he's going to do it. He obviously has some deep issues and is very unhappy. I would not be happy either if I had so many health issues. You need to get him one on one and force him to talk to you. It's a lot easier said than done. Maybe have some type of family intervention? I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope it all works out ok. He is awfully young for this!
2007-02-07 02:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your hubby may have given up on life altogether. Between the heart attack and the cancer, he may think he has no chance of recovering and figures if he's on his way out, why not enjoy the time he has left?
You might want to get a shrink to talk to him and his doctors. For some reason, alot of people get depressed after a heart attack and that can cloud their judgement.
Good luck to you both.
2007-02-07 02:13:38 · answer #7 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that he probably figures it doesn't matter at this point, he is already sick.
How can he possibly smoke 6 packs a day, that is 180 cigarettes. Is there even enough time in the day to do that. Say he was awake 18 hours, that is 10 cigarettes an hour. That is a cigarette every 6 minutes. Crazy.
2007-02-07 02:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by mq1229 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This would definitely qualify as the "worse" part of "for better or worse". If he won't talk to you about it, you keep talking to him. Maybe he will listen. Let him know how much you love him- he needs a reason to want to live. But know that in the end, you can't make another person do what's right. Do everything you can, love him, but accept that he will decide what he wants to do. If you don't already have a relationship with God- you really need Him to lean on!
2007-02-07 02:10:03 · answer #9 · answered by BB 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I work in a nuring home and upon hearing that someone has canxer or some other very servere illness the tend to get depressed. I some cases of proud individuals, they tend to show more distructive behaviors and will tend to distance themselves from the ones they love...to protect their memory. You just need to reassure him that you love him no matter what, and that you married him in sickness and health, and for better or worse.
2007-02-07 02:23:13 · answer #10 · answered by Jonathan O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋