How do i know if I should leave ?

Question

I am 22 years old and 6 months pregnant . I have been with the same man for over 6 years but I cant stand it anymore. I love him but I dont feel like I am in love with him. All we do is fight ( for the past 3 yrs) and scream. He is 44 years old I met him when I was 15 and it was all great then but I feel like I have grown up . I am so scared to be on my own . Then to top it off I will be a single mom . What do i do ? Stay or go ? Latley I have become very depressed and dont know how to come out of it . I have never really been on my own and am really scared . Their Is also a man I have been speaking to , Have not done any thing with but he asked me to lunch . I would like to go with him but I feel bad like I am cheating . I just want some one to talk to . Do think I should ?

I feel if I go with this other man I will be cheating . The man I am with is only the second guy I have been with

Answer 1

You need to do what makes you happy and you need to do what is best for your child. Staying in a relationship that is full of anger and rage is not a place for you or your child. Also, talking to another man and seeking an immediate replacement is not a good thing to do. You will just be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Obviously you will be tied to this man for the rest of your life as you are having his child, but it is better to be alone than to be miserable with someone. I kicked my ex husband out when I was 3 months pregnant. I quit my job when I was five months pregnant. Everything worked out amazingly well for me and my daughter. You can do this. You and your child have the right to be happy. You have so many options. I know that you are scared, but you need to be strong for your baby. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your child.... Good luck! :)

Answer 2

Well, first of all....because you are pregnant, you are having an emotional roller coaster going on in your body. Nothing seems like its supposed to.
The thing is this.....its a very bad time to leave. You have 3 months before the baby is here, and after it gets here and you are healed up and still feel the same, then yes.....you need to leave if you arent happy.
I am saying this because you apparently dont have any real knowledge of being on your own and its very hard alone, much less when you have a newborn. If you have family that can help you, then you will be better but, i would wait until after the baby comes and then reanalyze your relationship with this man.
Fighting is common, and nobody said a relationship was easy, but walking out now with his baby, is a bad time to do it.
Re evaluate your life after the baby hun. Allow some of your hormones return to normal and see then how you feel.
As far as lunch with the fella, as long as it is just lunch then i dont see a problem with it. However, if he has made is clear his interest is more than friends, then right now this will complicate things. You have a life changing decision to make, and you dont need anything cluttering your thinking at this time.
Just be careful hun. sometimes things arent quite as bad as they appear when you see it for what it truly is.
I wish you all the best. Good luck.

Answer 3

Honey, normally I would say this is just hormones, BUT there were some really disturbing things in your question. first, you went with him six years ago when you 16 and he was in his late 30's. That's not husband material, that is a predator. And that's exactly what he did, prayed upon the innocence of a child. Now that you are grown, have a sane mind of your own and are beginning to learn what life is about, you've realized you've made a huge mistake. Baby be damned sweetie, you need to get yourself out of there. There are tons of single moms out there. Sure it's hard, yes, there are going to be times when you want to throw in the towel and quit...but you aren't going to. And why? Because you have a little one that is going to be staring up at you expecting love, that you are going to be responsible for. That is why each state has assistance programs. Start checking into them. Get a social worker, they will help you. In our town, we have an assisted living program for young mothers that is actually a transitional living center. About six or seven young mothers share an entire building. They each have their own small apartments, but they are taught how to survive on their own. They are given child care, and these moms work together as a support group for each other to help them get back on their feet. As a social worker, I know that each state has similiar programs. All you have to do is ask for help and it will be given. You can do this sweetie. And you don't have to face the world alone.

As for the guy you are meeting for lunch. Honey, that's not cheating. That's finding a friend to confide in...there's a big difference. You can't keep all this bottled up inside. It's not good for you and it's not good for your baby.

I wish you well, and my prayers are with you.

Answer 4

You can't "jump out of the fire, into the frying pan" DO NOT go from one man, to another. You are so young, you need to gain some independence first. ANOTHER man is NOT the answer!

Answer 5

If you were 15 that makes him 38. He should be LOCKED up. He molested a MINOR. And you were a MINOR. HE should be put in jail. The inmates will see to it that he gets what he DESERVES.

Answer 6

He is a nut. He married to a 22 year old. Good luck accomplishing that again. You can come live with me, although I am a little older and wiser.

Answer 7

yes you will be cheating if you leave your sons father and go flirt with some other guy.
try not to become so nervouse and don't fight so much during your pregnancy, you know it's too bad for your child and will make him/her so weak.
try some way to work out with the one you are with.
see some consouler if you need someone to talk to.