I have a lifelong friend that is like a brother to me. Recently my husband had back surgery and will be having more in a month. I had to take a leave of absence from work to care for him ( also watch my grandbaby on the weekends) Our only income now is my hubby's disability check which just gets us by each month. My friend calls two times a week asking us to come down for a weekend and when I tell him no, he persists--I tell him #1 we have the grandbaby on weekends, #2 my husband can not sit in a car for 3 hours and mostly we do not have the extra money right now. To which he replies it is only gas, you can squeeze that out. Well in all honestly we can't and we would need money when we get there. I have told him how much we now get and how many bills we have and I can not get it thru his thick skull that it is impossible. Short of telling him completely off what can I do to get him to understand. I am really getting frustrated with him and having to explain it over and over again.
2007-02-07 02:01:56 · 3 answers · asked by vivib 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would let him know that you value his friendship, and that you know he wants you to come, but that you won't be able to for sometime. If he still persists, tell him that you are under a lot of stress, and that you don't want to hurt his feelings, but when he keeps asking you do something that is not feasible at this time, that is just causing more stress for you. If he still persists, I wouldn't answer his calls for awhile, or I would make up an excuse to get off of the phone quickly. He should get the idea, if he doesn't, you might just have to tell him off...you can always call and apologize at a later date when you are not as "stressed".
2007-02-07 02:07:48 · answer #1 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reassure your friend that you know how nice it would be, and that he wants to help--but it is impossible. Say you are sorry, make sure your friend feels you would like him---and don't go. if you can't you can't, but then, hope he gets the message. Otherwise, you still have a considerate friend, and just say "not now--maybe in 6 months", at least it would put it off.
2007-02-07 10:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by Pilatee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't stop short of telling him off completely. Obviously that is all that is going to work.
2007-02-07 10:05:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋