i have been dating a guy for 4 years i have known him for 10 years and now he asked me to marry him and i am only 20? he's even talking about kids and i love him very much. what should i do?
2007-02-07 01:35:07 · 28 answers · asked by Rose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are asking us, then the answer should be no. Obviously you aren't sure of your feelings, so you aren't ready at all. Take your time, you are too young.
2007-02-07 01:39:01 · answer #1 · answered by Kbear 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I got married when I was 19 and he was 20. It's been a year and a half now. We also have a 10 month old baby. I have to say, its been really hard at times. We are both still crazy about each other but sometimes I do wonder if it would've been easier if we had waited a little longer. I would suggest that you move in together first to test the waters. It's really hard to know. Moving in and realizing its not working out is a lot better than getting married and then having to deal with divorce. If you have any doubts at all, wait!!! And make sure that you guys discuss how you feel about kids, finances, where you'll live, debt, etc. first. I hope this helps. Marriage is lots of fun, just be prepared!
2007-02-07 10:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by cuddlz123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I caution you from getting married before the age of at least 24. You change so much and learn so much in your early 20's. What's the hurry to get married? I suggest you really think about your abilities to have a healthy, honest, loving, supportive and faithful marriage. I thought the guy I was dating at 20 was The One. That was 11 years ago. I am now in a beautiful partnership with a man that I never would have picked at 20..but did at 27. Everyone is different, but I honestly don't think a 20 year old has the maturity or life experience to build an enduring marriage. Good luck!
2007-02-07 09:53:40 · answer #3 · answered by ndjohns 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is just my opinion. I got married at 21 and was divorced at 25 with a newborn. I had met him when I was 17. Looking back, I would have never done it. You always have to take care of #1, which is you. Make sure you finish college, get a great job, you should live on your own at least once, you need to be single (as an adult) for at least 6 months to a year. It is very important that you can stand on your own two feet. It would be great to believe that you can get married at 20 and live happily ever after, but that's not so much the case anymore. You will grow and change so much in the next 5 to 10 years. You need to live YOUR life and do what makes YOU happy. You need to be on your own for a while, and if you guys get back together, then it's meant to be. I wish that I had not married until I was at least 25. But, hind sight is 20/20, you know? Don't live by your emotions, use your brains too. :) Good luck!
2007-02-07 09:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband since high school (for 12 yrs), we have been married for 6 and have to 2 kids. And let me tell you it was tough. I didn't have the chance to really see what was out there and it caused a lot of problems with us. However we are doing great now and I am extremely happy that we are together. It may turn out perfectly for you! But what have you seen, what have you done! Make sure that you do not want ANYTHING else otherwise you will just be making yourself miserable. Getting married is actually the easy part. Divorce, usually, makes things ugly!
2007-02-07 09:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by Kipers 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him that is one thing but if you are unsure, wait. I also dated my husband from age 16-20. I married at 20 because it was the next step; we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, we wanted to grow old together. We now have been married for 9 plus years and are still just as happy!
We are both educated, successful with careers and have children. People who say that 20 is too young say that because they were not mature at 20. My husband and I were!
2007-02-07 10:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by boohoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are old enough to get married if you want to. You have been seeing him since you were 16 so I would assume that you have not dating much in your life. You may find that there is a whole world out there that you have not explored and getting married may stop you from venturing out. It could work, but I don't think you have had enough experience with men to see if he is the one for you. It's really up to you what you want to do.
2007-02-07 09:44:00 · answer #7 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends....if you 2 are in college, wait until you both graduate and have a steady job....even if it is part time.....save up some money. if you decide this route, you guys can live your parents' place or his parents' place until you guys have enough $
or you can get married now.
i'd wait though. i'm 24 and still in college. i don't even have the time to have a boyfriend, let alone a serious relationship like marriage. wait a few years...mature a bit. (I'm not saying you guys are immature but there is more to live than just marriage). tell him that you'd want kids but after you have a full-time job and insurance (so you can take care of you and the kids...heaven forbid anything happens!)
2007-02-07 09:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by Laura 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY!! I got married at 25, she was 23, we'd known each other since I was 16 and she wa 14...it is now a disaster.
LIVE A LITTLE!!!! If he's still around 10 more years from now, then get married!
2007-02-07 09:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very young to be thinking about getting married. You need to get out and date other guys and experience life. My sister married at 19 and she never dated anyone but the man that she is now married to. She has been married for 35 years.She had told me that she had wished that she had not gotten married at such a young age.
2007-02-07 09:43:40 · answer #10 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't get married..........you've been dateing since you where 16... you never played the field and at a later time may feel you lost out on that and may be missing something. Now lets throw a couple of kids in the mix. Not good.
2007-02-07 09:49:12 · answer #11 · answered by ritelec 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋