In 1978 i met this woman in a bar and we later went to a motel and had sex, we continued with having an affair for like 7 months on a nightly basis we had sex, then i was transferred to another part of the country.
8 years later i meet another woman in the same state where i'd met the first one. We date for 6 months and then marry. Her next oldest sister lived out of state and couldn't make it to the wedding, then 7 years later comes to visit us.
This sister is the woman i'd met at the bar and had an affair with in 1978. She immediately opened her mouth and told my then wife what had happened and our marriage went to h ell right before my eyes. Nothing i could say could convince my wife that all this happened before i even knew she existed and i shouldn't be held accountable for what took place before we met.
Divorced now for 17 years and she's still demanding an explanation for my behavior with her sister. Is she totally freaking crazy or what?
2007-02-07 01:14:38 · 21 answers · asked by michael_trussell 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't owe her sh!t! That happened before the two of you married and hell what was the chances!
2007-02-07 01:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by Celeste P 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is actually really sad! She obviously still loves or cares about you deeply. Maybe in some ways this did make her totally crazy! For you to be divorced for that long, she should have let it go by now. The only thing that I could think of to do, if you really want to try to resolve this, is write your ex-wife a letter. Explain to her that you had met her sister years and years before her. She should understand that you were a different person at the time that you met her sister. I could see how she would be somewhat upset about it, but that long after the fact? That's just not right. I think a letter is the only way, that way she can't interrupt and you can say your peace. Would she have cared this much if it were any other woman? I doubt it. Maybe the true issues lie with her and her sister. God only knows, sorry you have to deal with this after all this time!
2007-02-07 09:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were any other woman, your ex would have just called the woman a "sl*t" and moved on. But I think she's having a hard time seeing her sister as the "sl*t." AND knowing that her sister "knows what she knows" to put it "biblically".
After 17 years, she's still dwelling on it which says she hasn't gotten over what happened, but just can't decide to either reconcile with you or move on.
But it's not your problem. Like you said, it was before you even knew your wife. She couldn't fault you for it when you were married, and now that you're divorced, she needs to leave you alone. I'm sure you've tried to explain things to her many times. If she wants to keep asking questions, refer her to her sister. Good luck!
2007-02-07 09:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by Angela B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW tell her to f&*(^(* ing move on...life is too short for this kind of bull sh&t. She needs to get a life. Hey things happen, we don't have control over everything in life. I guess in the 7 months you had sex nightly you never spoke of family or anything other than sex huh? Just curious. Seriously tho divorced for 17 years and she still has ?'s tell her she had her chance to ask when you were married, but it is over and so is that conversation. She needs to ask the sister if she wants details...LOL
2007-02-07 09:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by Eastcoast beachgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would make a good lifetime movie, I'm serious. What are the chances of this happening I wonder. I can't believe that she would divorce you over something that happened long before you even knew her. And to still be harping on it after all these years is a mystery to me. Tell her she divorced you without trying to understand , why try to understand now. And don't give her the satisfaction of getting anymore explanations from you.
2007-02-07 09:22:47 · answer #5 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should send this script to hollywood and make a million dollars! Whats hard to believe is in 7 years you never saw any pictures of the sister? I cant buy that scenario!! You're leaving something out.
2007-02-07 09:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by MRJERK715 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shes a foolish woman - ignore her and carry on with your life. Time has a great way of exposing the truth, when it does she will come crying to you for forgiveness. A pity she listened to her sister! How pathetic. I think the sister seems to be a bit of a cow!
2007-02-07 09:24:33 · answer #7 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are right you don't owe her anything if it was truly before you two ever met. I would ask her what the big deal is about the whole thing. She (your ex ) was not even in the pic at the time, tell her to drop it and leave you alone
2007-02-07 09:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by jenapher 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would say that she is freaking out!! Gosh all that happened with her sister almost 30 years ago!! And she is your EX...By her choice, you owe her no further explanations. If she wanted answers she should have allowed you to give them to her before divorcing you. and it has since been 17 additional years?!? tell her to "build a bridge and GET OVER IT!!!!" Good Luck!!
2007-02-07 09:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by ♥shannon c♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorced for 17 years? If she couldn't accept your explanations 17 years ago, she won't accept them now. Forget her and move on with your life. She's obviously got a problem moving on. Best wishes.
2007-02-07 10:52:28 · answer #10 · answered by §Sally§ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe this whack @$$ whore nothing, especially after 17 years divorced. You must have kids otherwise I don't know why you would still have contact with the crazy b1t
2007-02-07 09:26:35
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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