I am REALY scared of labour!?

Question

im 20 weeks.. so halfway towards the pain! I know its a time to look foward to meeting my baby boy but i am terrified of the pain, the pregnancy books make it seem worse im sure of it, please can someone try and describe labour for me i know it differs from woman to woman but just a little bit of calming down would be nice :) x

Thankyou everyone who answered, beleive it or not you have all really helped me! I suppose i have only been taking in the scary parts of labour, until now. thanks x

Answer 1

I was exactly the same hunni, for the whole 9 months I'd lie awake at night sh1tting myself.... I would rather have walked around pregnant the rest of my life rather than go through labour hahahaa!!!!

Anyway, my mum knew I was scared and said that as long as I did 'what my body was tellin me and did as the nurses said' I would be fine..

I wondered what the hell she was on about????

When I did go into labour my body did tell me what to do...this sounds soooo wierd but it's true. Your body 'bears down' and tells you you need to push....... the nurses tell you when to stop and 'pant' etc. My labour was fine honestly....really not the painful, screamin session I had had nightmares about!

You will be fine too....put it this way if it was that bad would women go back and have 4-5 kids!

p.s. My baby was born in around 35 mins start to finish and I had no pain releif other than gas n air!!!

Good luck hun.

Answer 2

Of course you are - who isn't scared of the unknown? I won't tell you about my experience because it was more or less the same as everyone else's who has replied, but here's some advice which helped me:
1. Talk to your midwife about your fears
2. Go to some antenatal classes - your midwife should be able to help you with some info on that one, but if you are in the UK try the NCT, I've listed the web address. They are very good for general help and support, too!
3. Get a yoga for pregnancy dvd - mine helped me breathe properly which helped me relax more in the early stages.
4. Ask your midwife about a TENS machine - also really helped me in the early stages.
5. When you pack your bag, make sure to take things like CDs which relax you, some comfy socks, anything that will help you feel more comfortable.
6. When the time comes, just remember that the pain will not last for ever - it will stop and you will have something amazing at the end
7. Do what the midwives tell you - mine told me to put the energy I was using to cry out into the pushing instead, and boy did it make a difference!
8. Don't be embarrassed or scared to ask for pain relief - it bloomin well hurts!
9. Make a birth plan - having even a vague idea of how you want things to go will help you feel more in control.

Good luck, and believe me, after a week or two after the birth you will have put memories of the pain behind you, you will be so busy looking after your little one!

Answer 3

Labor and delivery are painful. I let the Dr. know I needed whatever pain meds I could get. I had an epidural the first time and everything was just fine, it really makes a difference, our son was healthy and I wasn't comfortable but it wasn't painful either. I chose to Have the same with our daughter and I didn't have time, I will tell you that was the most pain I have ever - ever felt, so don't try and be one of those all natural people, you will be sorry. I would still have more children just because I love them so much. If you use your energy and effort being scared or anything other than having your baby, it takes away from the baby so please go to child birth classes and be sure and have your Dr. informed of the meds you want. It makes it so much better for you and the baby.

Answer 4

Usually the first birth is the most painful and scary since you have no clue to what goes on. As soon as you do go into labor you'll become super women and feel like you know exactly what to do. I remember when i went into labor with my first baby i was the one that was calmer than everyone else. You should have seen my mom!! She was flying down the interstate, i had to tell her to calm down...LOl!! The pain is a little overbearing at times but you'll learn very quickly what works for you during the pain. If the pain gets too bad you can always ask for an Epidural, they offered me one because i was induced so the labor pains were pretty intense. At first even the thought of an Epidural is scary but you'll jump at the chance once the contractions get stronger.
I try not to even think about it, 31 weeks, so i know it's coming soon but i just think about seeing my little girl and i get so happy!

Answer 5

To be honest it starts off like bad period pains and then just becomes more and more so. By the time it gets really painful it's nearly over. Do not worry if it was that bad women would have stopped having babies that way years ago. Also there are lots of pain killers available. If you want no pain there's an epidural. If you still want to move about have a mobile epidural. Or pethidine or gas an air.

With my first I had pethidine and with my second I had 2 paracetamol... do not worry...

You will be fine and you'll have a beautiful baby boy at the end of it - enjoy...

Answer 6

I can't lie, its painful - BUT, its not unbearable (well, maybe thats because you have no choice??). I made the mistake of not pushing hard enough or giving it my all during labour in my first pregnancy as it hurt so much, but by my second one I realised that I was best off pushing my hardest and giving everything I had in order to get my baby out and make it end as quickly as possible.

Its very uncomfortable and not really something you can describe........... I can't think of anything to compare it to or suggest it would feel like but, remember, push your hardest to get it over as quickly as possible, don't hold back.

I have friends who said it was 'no big deal' - maybe you will be one of the lucky ones, if not, then remember that millions of women have gone through it, so how bad can it be - you soon forget the pain!!!


Good Luck
xxx

p.s Theres no shame in taking EVERY form of pain relief you are offered - I vowed I wouldnt take anything during my first pregnancy but after the first few hours I changed my mind and had some pethodine and another 12hours later (of a 27hour labour) I had a epidural (my biggest regret now is that I was so stubborn and didnt take the epidural as soon as I could have - it was my first port of call during my next 2 labours)

Answer 7

Yes every woman is different and everyone takes pain different. It totally depends on how well you can take pain. Yes it hurt (feel like really bad cramps that doesn't go away until after birth) it is no fun thing but it is a happy time because you are about to give birth to a beautiful baby boy. Some don't have labor pain. some rely on the medicine, some don't think the medicine worked, and some jsut screams because they already have it programmed in their mind that it is going to hurt. So it is all up to you and how well you deal with pain.

Answer 8

The first part of labour is fine, it is the build up to the more painful ones. Now as they are the build up ones you kind of get used to the pain. It still hurts but because you have built up to it somehow its not quite as bad. Don't get me wrong it is painful but you just get through it.

If you have ever had bad period cramps then that is similar.

The best thing i can suggest if you really are that scared is have an epidural. They are fab - you don't feel a thing!

I experienced both with nothing at all and then with epidural and the epidrual for me is the best! You don't get any trophies for experiencing all that pain! (Apart from the lovely baby of course, but you get the baby no matter what!)

Answer 9

i would say the power of information is the best to help ease your fears, if you know what is happening to your body and why it helps to get your mind over matter.
I would say that right now would be a good time for you to look into birthing classes, they will explain everything and teach you methods of approach, breathing, focus object etc. to help you deal with the pain. I believe that we were given everything we need to deal with the labor and delivery, you just have to get to the point where you believe the same thing, and there is always the epidural approach, you may also want to be educated about this procedure. Also learn about a C section procedure. The more informed you are the better you can make decisions when it comes to crunch time, do what is right for you and your baby. Any method of birth is just a part of your story, it does not define who you are as a woman or a mother, go with what is right for you. Blessings to you and your little one.

Answer 10

No point in lying to you, It is sore. but pain with a purpose is differant from any other pain. Just go into labour with an open mind & accept all the pain medication on offer. Honestly, i have done it three times & the pain is soon forgotten as soon as you see that gorgeous wee baby. You never know you might be one of these people who sail through the whole experience. Millions have done it before you & survived. I am the biggest whimp out there & i managed so i am sure you will be fine
Good luck