devastated slept with wrong women drunken sleep?

Question

need honest advice.
went to house wedding at wifes parents house 2 weeks ago but i got really drunk and felt sicky and tired as i do not drink much . my wife suggested i went into the sister inlaws old room .
so i did and fell asleep but during the night i felt my wife (what i thought was my wife coming onto me)but it was my wifes sister so still sleepy i started having sex with her until i realised and put on my gear in the early hours in the morning and ran out the door .i have confronted sister inlaw and she says that its was her old room and and she had no where else to sleep so slept beside me with her clothes on.but in a drunken sleep the clothes came of.i dont know what to do as we are child hood sweethearts and if i tell her it would wreck my marriage plus the sisters marriage iam so devasted but dont know what to do as me and my wife are totally in love with each other.should i tell her or live with ths horrible mistake. we are a very normal working class family

iam totally disgusted with myself but it was a total mistake i would never cheat on my wife.sister inlaw has told me to get over it and forget about it.

Answer 1

Honesty is the best policy. Sister in Law may feel guilty later and end up telling your wife. You would want your wife to hear it from you first. I would just tell her what happened, apparently your wife knew how messed up you were at this wedding. Tell her that it was dark, you couldn't see, and you thought you were having sex with her, and stopped as soon as you realized you weren't.

Answer 2

I think that you should tell your wife. She loves you and she deserves to know the truth. If you are afraid of hurting her, well too bad. She has to know and you can choose to tell her now, from your lips, or she can find out later...with an even bigger chance of divorce. What you did was wrong, and no matter what, you should not have been there getting drunk. And, why would you spend the night? She could have picked you up...that is, if she loved you so much and was concerned for your well being...or maybe she didn't b/c she didn't know you were there in the first place?--my assumption. Step up and be a man and tell the woman you love what you did. The only thing you can do is beg for mercy, and you don't even deserve that. And, just to let you know...your wife won't buy your story. And, frankly neither do I. good luck.

Answer 3

All I can advise is to be honest with your wife. If you explain now what happened she may believe you and understand that what happened was a mistake. She may be very upset at first but probably would come around. If she finds out later on she will wander why you didn't tell her yourself. You will come off looking suspicious and like a cheater. At that point it might be to late to save your marriage. Plus you have to worry that the sister may tell her first. Be straight forward with your wife. I don't understand why it was even able to progress as far as it did. Why would your wife send you to sleep in her sisters old room and not her old room? Didn't your wife come looking for you? And where was the sisters husband if not sleeping with his wife?

Answer 4

Rotter old boy, This is certainly a serious problem of the highest order. I do believe you require a solid military strategy on this occasion what? I have given this much thought, with my keen and cunning battle hardened neurons and do believe I have arrived at a truly marvellous 5 step plan. This plan will not only allow you to cover the lucky concubine in top grade custard but to also become her hero, as you interact in a most erotic manner at her time of great need! Step1. I shall attend the manor old boy at 22:00 hours and disable the water supply. step 2. You will escort the unsuspecting Lady Smythe to her chambers. Upon entry, close the door and pull off the handle we loosened earlier in he day, therefore trapping you both together in the ladies chambers. Step 3.Turn OFF the light. step 4. Begin to seduce your victim with all of your usual chat about rhubarb crumble , so on and so forth. Step 5. At the point where she finally removes all clothing TURN ON THE BEDSiDE LAMP . At this point the 75 pound compressed custard grenade I planted in the bulb holder shall detonate, completely covering everything in the room in a 4 inch covering of thick smooth devon home made custard! Lady Smythe will be coated from head to foot old chum! At this point you remind her that the water supply has indeed failed, however if she lays still you will proceed to lick her ENTIRE BODY clean of the foul substance! You will be her instance knight in yellow armour ! In no time at all old bean you will certainly have her become a more than adequate tart! Good plot what? Hopperty hoop over the top lads!

Answer 5

I don't think your wife will believe you, i'm sorry but this is hard to believe. i've been drunk many times and i never lose consciousness to the point that i mistake someone for my spouse. i suggest you tell your wife that you made a mistake but don't tell exactly all the details as this will be very painful for her.
This is a very serious situation, if possible go to a marriage conselor but for sure, is going to be difficult to gain your wife's trust again.

Answer 6

u made no conscious choice here, being drunk u did think it was your wife, not as if u planned it just a mistake u wouldn't have made had u been sober. so forgive yourself, ask god to forgive u and never talk about it again. it wasn't as if u lusted for the sister in law and thought it out, it was only a mistake that anyone could have made if they were drunk.

Answer 7

As I was reading your story I had a question that came to mind. Where was your wife all night? And if she suggested that you slept in her sisters room then why didn't she come and get in bed with you? And doesn't she wonder where her sister slept?

Answer 8

if you can live each and every single day without telling your wife, then be it. but if i you cannot, then just admit it to your wife putting everything in context, recognized how she will react and give her the right and space to express it, accept the punishment and do whatever it takes to make up for it.

and of course, next time around it would be for the best to drink only what you can hold.

Answer 9

You gotta just lay it all out for your wife, be completely honest. Honesty always wins in the end. It will hurt, but you can work past all this. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 10

QUIT DRINKING. If you think you'll lose your wife over this - imagine how she'll feel when she finds out later. You need to sit her down, and be honest. She needs to know that she can't trust her sister around her man.