How do you overcome jealousy? Especially when it's about someone you care for? And it makes you do and say horrible things about other people, which makes you feel like a terrible person?
2007-02-06 23:31:42 · 9 answers · asked by Lily 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it all comes back to you..
what are you so insecure about,
you need to deal with the insecurity
everyone is insecure about something you just need to know what it is so that it doesn't control you.
you need to work on that,
then the jealousy will start to go away.
2007-02-06 23:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The very best way is to understand what jealousy is for and work with it.
There's nothing wrong with being jealous, it's not a comfortable emotion: it's not supposed to be.
I look at it this way, jealousy involved in us to motivate us to follow our goals, find what we're looking for and fight to keep it.
leading scientists, psychologists and anthropologists David Nettle and David Buss have both studied this aspect of human nature and come up with facts to prove this.
Buss views jealousy as a passion that aided the reproduction of our ancestors over the centuries and is still functional today.
Dysfunctional jealousy is the dark side of our adaptation to be jealous; it has several aliases such as the Othello Syndrome, morbid jealousy, psychotic jealousy, pathological jealousy, conjugal paranoia, and erotic jealousy syndrome.
However, “moderate” jealousy is seen by Buss as something that coincides with love and he feels one does not exist without the other. Buss uses the analogy of physical pain to describe the usefulness of jealousy. We obviously find pain aversive but it serves a practical function.
I don't feel that jealousy is something to overcome, ESPECIALLY when it's about someone yo care for. Evolution gave you Jealousy so you could use it to KEEP her.
Jealousy will only eat you up in the way you describe if you let it control you. You're not a terrible person. To feel better feed on that jealousy to produce the results that YOU want. Don't let it feed on you because that wouldn't be helpful.
2007-02-07 07:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy comes from an insecurity within you. When you can figure out why you feel insecure about this person and their feelings, you need to work through your issues. Unfortunately, the insecurity might not have started with this particular person, just "resurfaced" for some reason. Your insecurities might actually go back farther, perhaps to early childhood. This will take a lot of mental self-examination on your part, but it is worth it because jealousy can tear apart any couple over time.
Remember, only you can change this, and you might need professional help to do it. Don't hesitate to get it if you do.
Also, try to remember, this person is with you because they want to be, if that changes, there's nothing you can do about it. Jealousy just might drive them away if you don't get a handle on it soon.
Good luck!
2007-02-07 07:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm a jealous person too! I really had to learn to love myself first. I know that may sound like something a shrink might tell you but it's true. I had no self esteem and it was coming out in the form of jealousy. I also have to take a few seconds and think before I speak....it makes a world of difference!
2007-02-07 07:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot prevent nor overcome jealousy, it's a natural part of any humans feelings - you can however learn how to control your jealousy. We all have different ways in doing this, I guess you just gotta try different angels...and find out what works for you...
2007-02-07 07:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by Bite Me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Without giving a religous sermon, you should realize that jelousey is one of the 7 deadly sins. If that doedn't do it, imagine how you'd feel if this person died while you have all of this hostility towards them. Think of the guilt that you would carry for the rest of your life. You wouldn't be able to tell them you're sorry for the things you said about them. They would go to thier grave with you feeling that you choose to feel this way,rather than to be thier true friend.
2007-02-07 07:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by D.Y. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Chose to be better than that and think before you speak, those feelings will pass. And remember, watch what you say because you can say Im sorry, but you can never take it back.
2007-02-07 07:35:24 · answer #7 · answered by ashleynicole452 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
theres nothing wrong with feeling jealous you just have to learn to control it,try to sort it out before you sound off,give yourself time to think about things and rationalize them so they don't seem as big
2007-02-07 07:36:11 · answer #8 · answered by jewel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhmmm.....i have to control if im jelous..,,i know every one person feel jelous but they can control some other are not...
2007-02-07 07:50:10 · answer #9 · answered by chinita_kath22 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋