my partner keeps going on about having sex i really dont feel like it cos im to tierd after looking after our 8month old baby i have talked to him but he doesnt understand
2007-02-06 22:54:41 · 18 answers · asked by rainbow*lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
typical situation, 1 person want one thing, the other doesnt. You need to compromise. At the moment, you are not having sex(so getting your way) and still moaning about it!! obviously you need to make an effort to keep a healthy relationship. so you need to make an effort and have sex with him at times. You shoud both make an effort about once a week at first. Both dress nicely, have a nice dinner, a few candles. But dont expect him to do all the running, he has been spurned for a while and you will both need to make a effort to get back to normal. No "he or she should understand my needs more". understand eachothers needs!!!!!
2007-02-06 23:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by stevenhawkins2208 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember that your partner needs attention too. Maybe you should try to either take a nap with the baby, so that you're rested when your partner gets home or maybe cut the baby's nap short so that he/she will go to bed earlier and you and your partner have a little time together. Is it possible for you to get someone to care for the baby for a day so that the two of you can have some one on one time? Becoming a new parent is hard on both parties but you have to remember to make time for each other just like he needs to understand that at times you are too tired.
2007-02-07 01:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rainbow, believe me, I can relate. I have three children aged 4, 2 and six months,I lost my sex drive after every time I gave birth, and just when I'd start to feel like myself again, I'd get pregnant again. It's especially bad if you're breastfeeding, which I am (but I do NOT think this is valid reason to give up bf'ing)..You know what, I do not subscribe to this whole "buy some lingerie, get a sitter" crap. Your body will get back to normal,and so will your hormones, this is all temporary. Explain this to your husband. I was honest with my husband and told him that although he's gorgeous and I adore him, I don't have any sex drive whatsoever at the moment, so when we do make love, please don't expect much from me, but I still do it when I feel I can manage. When there's no pressure, I feel slightly more myself.
2007-02-06 23:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that after having a baby it takes a woman a little while before she is in the mood for sex. Maybe you could get a family member or friend to watch the baby and you and your partner have a few hours to yourselves. When the baby is asleep, spend time together. Tell him that if he wants to a healthy sex life he needs to help wit the baby,not leave it all up to you. Some women after having a baby, just don't feel like having sex! I always tell my husband if he wants sex, he better help me with our little girl. I know what you are going thru. Men just don't get it. Cooking,cleaning, and taking care of the kids, we sure as hell don't feel like having sex. Good luck!
2007-02-06 23:05:00 · answer #4 · answered by willy-wonka 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having a baby and then looking after the baby all day can leave you feeling tired and reduce your sex drive - a good idea is to kick start something for yourself to make you feel sexy - go to Ann Summers and buy yourself some sexy lingerie, or even just spend proper time with your partner - it's easy with a young child to not really talk any more or spend time with him. That should get things going a bit! Once you get back into it again you might feel like doing it even more and feel less tired!
2007-02-06 22:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by JoJi 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to find a compromise. Men often feel neglected when the wife's attention is focused on the baby and they are pushed away.Try to arrange for a sitter once a week or so then you can spend time with each other. He needs to know that he is still important to you and that you want to be with him physically. Men really don't require to much to feel happy when it comes to sex I get that your tired but you don't always have to have marathon sex to keep him smiling.
2007-02-06 23:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by noddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You MUST make time for your partner...this is crucial in any relationship...Majority of men who cheat will say that they weren't happy in the bedroom (and then the women stil asks why)..Be thankful he still has a desire for you after the baby..many women are complaining their men are looking around because they gained weight or some or other reason..Please dont let this lead to a break up..Good luck sweety!
2007-02-06 23:05:22 · answer #7 · answered by Mercia L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im pretty sure we understand you, BUT you have to make an effort sweet heart. Try taking a nap or figure out something because thats one of the reasons theres infidelity. Just let him have and him do the work lol no but you and him could have some time together even just for an hour try, your husband needs the attention too just like your baby.
2007-02-06 23:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by chicamex 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think most guys wouldn't understand - to me I could work 18hrs a day and I could still have sex but I know its different for women cause most have a lower sex drive and a take longer to be turned on - maybe get some one to take care of the little one for a day and night so you have the energy to go for it that night
2007-02-06 23:16:24 · answer #9 · answered by Soul Reason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its a dude don't be surprised if he cheats on you, if you want to have a happy partner ship your going to have to learn to have sex, start exercising,and eating well and maybe some of your energy will come back, set down and have a talk with your partner let them no how you feel ,and let them no if you are willing to change if not let them go, if they like sex and you don't your are not a good match and you will only end up making each other sick, if this is just a stage let them no,and tell them eventually you will want to start having sex again,no guy joins into a committed relationship thinking that his sex life will be over.
2007-02-06 23:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by devil weed 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋