i dont understand!! Do they really love their wifes? should they get a third and fourth chance just because they are sorry, it was a mistake? i know i made him a promise but im having a hard time dealing with everything he's done. i am not the perfect angel myself. after two kids and five other girlfriends on the side, i started talking to some one else, now i feel guilty about it, but at the same time i cant quit thinking about the way he made me feel #1 every second. i am tired of being #3 or #4. what should i do
2007-02-06 22:26:48 · 23 answers · asked by sharab6305 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dump him and get a badger instead.
2007-02-06 22:30:42 · answer #1 · answered by barrybumhole 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Do they love their wives? Good question. I still don't know. They should not get a third and fourth chance. Truth is, when they say they are sorry, they really aren't sorry. If a person is truly sorry about something, would they do it again and again? No. Don't feel guilty about talking to this other person, but don't let it turn into something else other than friendship, then you will have a reason to feel guilty. It is up to you whether you leave or stay, but just bear in mind that by staying you are giving him permission to do it over and over again, and don't expect his behaviour to change. My husband has cheated many times now, so I know what it's like. Hope you feel better soon, Ness xx
2007-02-06 22:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lochie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he doesn't love you. He lied when he said "I do", you can see how easy it is for him to continue to lie to you now. He married you for some other reason. Possibly convenience in some way. Possibly because you were enabling him somehow or stroking his ego. Possibly to further take advantage of you, and have a couple of children. Possibly for money. He's a manipulator. He made you feel #1 every second because it's about the chase w/ this type, and now that he's got you, you bore him silly. It's a game, and the other conquests are that as well. He doesn't respect women, no woman will fare any better with him, he's not the type. Once a compulsive liar, always a compulsive liar. Possibly just a big ol' wussy and a wimp who made promises to you that he knew were lies and didn't know how to get out of his lies, so he went through with marrying you, even though he didn't want to. Some men just end up doing that, "go with the flow". I know a man who married both his first and second wife knowing that he didn't love them, but in his own words as to why they got married, he "ran out of excuses" to put it off any longer. They get stuck in a moment, they can't get out of it, because he's a spineless wimp. Possibly he was afraid of backing out because of your family, or what others would think -- which only makes things worse of a mess later......two unfortunate children. Possibly once the ball started rolling toward you getting married, he was afraid to come clean and tell the truth and back out before it was too late. But don't waste the rest of your life with him dear.
2007-02-06 22:37:48 · answer #3 · answered by Carmen S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Right you have put up with this tooooo long now. He has done it to many times for you to keep forgiving him. Its time you left him and moved on. You dont deserve that treatment for a bloke that says he is sorry or loves you. If he was sorry and loved you he would have never have done it int he first place, maybe once forgive but not the 2,3,4 thats why to much.
Just do what you think is best for you we cant tell you how to live you life. I am sorry to hear you are treated like this.
2007-02-07 01:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like I have told my sister-in-law hundreds of times, leave him and do what makes you happy. Take your children and show them what REAL love is. Not just lies and deception. If you stay with this man you are teaching your children that it is okay for a husband to treat his wife bad. You are teaching them that a husband can do whatever he wants and it is okay and that if they get married they never have to worry about their spouses feelings. You have forgiven WAY too many times and the fact that you are finding your own happiness is great. Find someone that does treat you number 1 ALL the time. One thing to be careful of though is -some guys like that chase and the easiness of taking an unhappily married woman and making her feel great, but when that chase is over - they change. Believe me - I know.
2007-02-07 00:25:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a very immature man and has no respect or love for you. This is the one place in the Bible where a couple may divorce. You deserve a faithful man not a dog that walks around the neighbourhood making puppies everywhere. It does not say much for his character. Tell him he has made it quite clear and get out and retain your dignity and integrity. No-one needs this.
DIvorce him.
2007-02-06 22:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do it because they can. And if you let him get away with it he will continue to do so.
He's been lying the whole time. A real man only makes commitments that he can follow through on and is the first to admit when he can not.
If this guy can't do that then he's not a real man. You deserve better. I hope the divorce doesn't get too bitter. Best of luck.
2007-02-06 22:34:14 · answer #7 · answered by Tomis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.... im really sorry to hear that.
Dont stay with him just for the kids hunny.... I didnt not worth it.
Words come out real easy, he is obviously very shallow and insecure. Move on sweetheart once is one thing, but that many times I think the respect has gone. Good luck x
2007-02-06 23:12:17 · answer #8 · answered by pinkkitten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people have no conscience. Just because he cheated does not make it right for you, could you live with yourself after? If you want to stay in your marriage, get counselling. If you don't get a divorce. If he has cheated that many times, wanting a divorce is understandable.
2007-02-06 22:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide what is best for you and take it from there. If you think your kids and your life will be better without him then you need to dump him.
I'm not a fan of giving anybody a 2nd chance once they have abused my trust, but you have kids that you also need to think about.
2007-02-07 00:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a wife should only Stan for second place if there's kids, if a man has kids I would not mind holding second place kids come first (but that's me) ,but i be dam if I'll stand any place behind a girlfriend.
Do what you think you have to do but if you stay get use to being #3 # 4 # 5.
2007-02-06 22:55:01 · answer #11 · answered by ღ♥ஐcookie1ஐ♥ღ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋