I want to make sure my marriage stays positive, any tips?

Question

We, like any other couple, have our differences. However, we want to make sure our marriage stays emotionally healthy. Basically, what I'm looking for, is some advice as to how to prevent ourselves from "blowing up" at eachother, when we get upset and/or dissagree.

Answer 1

Don't go to bed mad. Also, I just learned, watch your tone when you speak to your spouse. It helps alot!! Kudos to you for trying to keep your marriage sweet!!:)

Answer 2

After 20 yrs of marriage I have found that when you first get married everything is more emotionally charged. Fights,sex, jealousy etc. I believe you may need to go through this phase to get to the latter stages of understanding, comfort, security,and the ability to choose your battles more wisely. If you accept that a fight is not the end and that you will both always be there for the other then having one is not the end of the world. I remember the good and the bad of those days and wonder if without them would we still appreciate the calm easy relationship we have. Good Luck and try to enjoy every step of the journey.

Answer 3

Hi,
Instead of arguing and fighting walk away for a bit and cool down before talking about things. Once you are calm and collected then sit down with each other and discuss things calmly and rationally. Be a good listener as well as a talker. Do not raise your voice or try to interrupt when the other person is talking. Basically think before you speak and act.Hope this helps some. remember it takes two to fight and argue BUT it also takes to to reslove things calmly and rationally.

Answer 4

Don't expect perfection. Remeber that your spouse is going to make mistakes, as well as you. And love is still caring for someone ever at their worst times.
Understand that you guys are on the same team. You are partners for life. When one faulters the other stays strong and vice versa. When my husband and I get into disagreements, I remind him that I'm on his team, I'm not the enemy. This helps him understand and open up to my opinion. He tends to be very competitive so he always has to be "right". When he is reminded that I'm his partner and it's me and him against the world, he is able to listen to my opinion without getting defensive. Thank God this technique has worked for us or we'd be getting nowhere!!

And last but not least, honesty!! There are very, very few secrets we keep from eachother. Keeping it real, keeps it genuine.

Answer 5

Talk through problems. Be fair at all times and try to remain objective, and when possible try to see their point of view. It's hard. Don't react to hurtful statements (until the other person has calmed down) and dont run away either or sweep anything under the rug.

Answer 6

Everyone of us wants it on the positive all the way..
but... it's a two-way road,..two people in it ,,
additional can be crowded..

Anyway make a deal.. whoever is angry ,, the other
one walks away and cool down,, not saying any
horrendous words to each other, coz 'word' are sharp,
it cuts one up.. Sharp words can damage both mind
and heart. and never heal straight away, sometimes
it never heal at all,,

Answer 7

HI MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION, TRUST EACH OTHER, TALK . NEVER GO TO BED MAD AT EACH OTHER, TALK ABOUT IT, EVEN IF YOU ARGUE A LITTLE,. IF U GOTO BED WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT A PROBLEM, THE PROBLEM WILL STILL BE THERE UNTIL YOU RESOLVE IT. ITS BETTER TO TALK ABOUT IT IMMEDIATELY AND RESOVLE IT, REMEMBER MARRIAGE IS ABOUT COMPROMISING.. SO BOTH OF YOU EACH HAVE TO GIVE A LITTLE BIT IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT GET RESOLVED. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT BEING BEST FRIENDS ALSO. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS ITS DISAGREEMENTS, BUT JUST TALK, THEY WILL WORK OUT. LOSS OF COMMUNICATION AND NOT BEING HONEST TO EACH OTHER WILL MAKE A MARRIAGE EVENTUALLY NOT A GOOD MARRIAGE. YOU SOUND LIKE U HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE. SOMETIMES REMEMBER TO BE THE BETTER LISTENER AND PRAISE AND BLAME ARE ALL THE SAME. JUST COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER, BE BEST FRIENDS. SOMETIMES JUST SIT BACK TOGETHER AND RELAX TOGETHER. LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH, WE ALL NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE US, UNDERSTAND US AND ALLWAYS BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER. GOOD LUCK!! IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WILL HAVE A VERY HAPPY MARRIAGE!!!

Answer 8

A man must always verbalise his love to his wife to gain her respect. Wives need to be assured of their husbands love for them. WHen they are, they are happy and respond with respect and love. If neither does either a marriage will go into a crazy cycle. SHe loses respect for him because she thinks he does not love her and he goes into his cave and withdraws from her because he thinks she doesnt respect him. It becomes a vicious circle. Until one yields and does what God commands people to do in Ephesians 5:33, Men are commanded to love their wives and wives are commanded to respect their husbands, things are balanced in their marriage. It makes sense doesnt it! Read the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It is brilliant and I can vouch for what he suggests working in our marriage!

GOd bless you both in your marriage and may nothing ever separate what God has put together!

Answer 9

Don't hold things in, keep the lines open for communication at all times. The worst thing to do is keep things to yourself that bother you, eventually you will blow or react in a negative way towards your spouse. It's hell trying to argue something that happened years ago.

Answer 10

Learn how to argue positively. I think Dr. Phil has a book out on how you do it. Don't let the little things get the best of you.