Not like my friends?

Question

I'm 17. My friends are all into drinking every single weekend, smoking pot, having sex with random guys, smoke and wagging.

I'm against this. Although I don't mind drinking.

When I first started being friends with these girls, we were 13. We did drink a little (for someone birthday and was supervised and etc). Everyone cared about doing well at school and having morals and having a good reputation.

Now they couldn't care less. I want my friends to care about themselves, because I care about them. This year (my last year of high school) I am going to a different school.

Now they are leaving me out of the things they do because I am against what they do.

I cant just pretend i'm ok with it, but i don't want to lose my friends...


What do you think I should do?!

JenGem- The drinking age in NZ is 18, not 21 like in America. I only drink small amounts and only under adult supervision. I think this is responsible and my parents are ok with it. They have taught me how to drink responsibly.

They left me out of going to town, going shopping etc. The other day i was waiting for my mum in the supermarket and I saw two of my friends I hadn't seen in a while so i went over to talk to them and they were like sorry we've gotta go and meet everyone else now, see ya

Answer 1

You won't be able to save them, and you know something, it isn't your responsability.

You show an extremely mature and insightful nature to you. This is a quality that some adults never get. And to prove my point- wait until you go to your 10 year high school reunion, and you will see what kind of life these kids develop. It's sad.

I know that at your age, it is hard to not feel the same as your peers. I was the same as you, and I do know what you are feeling, at least a little.

If you want the best life, it is up to you to make those decisions to insure it. And you are doing it. I have seen the kids I went to school with (I am not in my early 30's) and see how some of them have just wasted themselves into things that do not get you anywhere. I started out as a young adult, and it was hard, with lack of money, got married, didn't have the nicest stuff. Now I have a house, a family, success, and other nice "things" because I didn't give up my principles and made decisions to get me where I am. You can too, and it sounds like you are.

There are other people like you, trust me. I think maybe you might want to sit down and think of "what is a friend?"

I know this must be very trying to you. It may not help much, but you will reflect back on this, and be glad you stood your ground.

Answer 2

These aren't friends, these are acquaintances. Friends share your values and interests and are fun to be around. They respect you and support you. It sounds like you've grown and they haven't. It's good that you're going to a different school (although I know it's rough having to do that in your senior year), because it makes it easier to start fresh with a new circle of acquaintances from which to choose new friends, without being stuck in the rut of the same old crowd, which may be comforting but isn't really good for you. Look ahead, not back, and enjoy.

Answer 3

I'm glad that some parents expose their kids to small amounts of alchohol... it makes the kids go less crazy when they turn 21!
about your problem... these friends sound like people that could get you into trouble! they could get into a car accident (while they are drunk) and could kill you and themselves! i would steer clear of those friends outside of school. you don't want to get into trouble! (drugs are a serious thing.) why would you care what they leave you out of?? aren't they things that you are against and don't want to do??
*-*-*i would drop those friends and find some new ones next year at your new school- try looking for friends that abide the laws against drugs and underage drinking and smoking!

Answer 4

If you are going to a different school then look into new friends. This doesn't mean you have to completely forget the old ones but since they are up to other things, then just let it go. This can be hard but I had a simialr experience and years later these people and I have all come to the same point and are friends again.

Answer 5

I'm exactly the same way...sometimes ppl just drift apart and change...its sad but its true. If they really care about you they would respect your decisions and how you feel.
Stay true to yourself and keep on the road your on..this might all be a fase that they are going through and maybe one day they will come back to their senses and realize there is more to life then drinking...smoking and hooking up with random guys.

Answer 6

If they r your true frenz, they will accept u as u r. If not, let them go. Frenz go n stay in different stages of life. U r still young, make more frenz in your new sch. Who's know, mayb a few years dn the road, u gals might b frenz again. Or mayb u r able 2 find your true frenz. Treasure your friendship when u have it. Enjoy!

Answer 7

Time to find some new friends. I was in your situation before. I had a bunch of friends from middle school and once we hit high school they started to get into hard core drugs, smoke, smoke weed, and drink like fish. I just found some better friends and enjoyed my highschool years without becoming alchies and drug addicts like them : )

Answer 8

Know what's funny? It sucks to lose friends, but nobody says u have to lose them. Stand by ur convictions, and if they ditch u, so what? They weren't REAL friends anyway. Ur so young, and have many opportunities ahead of u. U seem to have inward self confidence; use that to the best of your abilities. If ur friends don't realize what their doing to themselves, u won't be able to convince them anyway. Sounds cold, but your friends don't define your life. U do. You can't spend ur life worrying about others....all you can do is set an example and hope they follow.

Answer 9

You want to know what to do?
1. don’t even start saying your worried you’ll lose your friends, because if you do nothing you will lose them. heck you even said they were starting to leave you out.
2. think about this, you need to be around people who don’t act like this. Even if you have strong morals if you try to put yourself around them you will start to give in to the pear pressure so honestly get away from them if they don’t quit. do what you can to help them, but if they don’t change then be smart and step away. Tough love.
3. And by the way, your 17 and your drinking? Come on. I was feeling for you until I read that. All that does is show that your being childish too. And judging by what you said you don’t want to be childish, so cut that out.

Answer 10

I think the best thing to do is move on. If you are moving schools then you will make new friends. just dont worry!! you are doing the right thing not getting into that stuff.