what do you when you resent someone who has done a lot of harm to you in the past?

Question

I do not see this person anymore but when I think about things he has done I always have anger in my heart...kind of thing that is remaining in my soul forever.

Answer 1

You know the entire concept of forgiveness is sooooooo overrated.... some people do not now and never will deserve any measure of forgiveness so if you can't forgive them that is fine you don't have to... you can move on in life without forgiving someone... and well if you believe in god and god thinks that person needs forgiving let god do his work... you aren't god so you dont have to.

Resentment? Or is it Anger? Anger at what they took from you perhaps. Or perhaps fear? There are sure to be whole mesh of feelings about a person who has done a lot of harm to you.

What you can do is to remember that there are people in the world like this person, not everyone is like them but some are so inow you are a bit wiser and a bit older and a bit more able to protect yourself from people like this.

Anger carries with it a great energy... if you focus anger too long and hard at one person you are actually giving them your own energy... life energy that is meant for you and for those who you love not for someone who has done you a lot of harm... sooooo you do need to let the anger go... so that you can conserve your energy for those who deserve it..

Some ways to let anger go is to write it out... write the person a letter, by no means should you post the letter, the written word can be used against you... and you dont want the person knowing how much they have affected you so they feel like they have won...the purpose of writing the letter is for you to say all the things that remain unsaid... you may swear, call the person names or any kind of expression you dont normally use... write until you can write no more... then go somewhere really peaceful and quiet out of doors and burn the letter... as the letter burns say out loud..... I release myself from this anger... I release myself from this anger .... I release myself from this anger...

Then celebrate... celebrate the end of a bad experience....

If after that you begin to feel anger about this person close your eyes and remember the letter burning.... remember you have released yourself from the anger... remember you have let go so that you can channel your energies in a better more positive way...

Answer 2

Good question-I've been there-done that. Here goes, it took me a number (5) yrs. to get to the point where I prayed for God to help me forgive this guy. I got hurt, and so did my child, by him. Well, one day I personally felt this anger towards this guy come roaring up inside of me, and I told God that if He wanted to be mad at this guy-go ahead! I gave Him my anger towards the guy, and had a cleansing cry-best cry i'd had in a l-o-n-g time. ***The one important thing to consider is this---do you think he even feels the same way towards you? Probably not. Why are you wasting your time and energy being angry with him? Yes, he hurt you, but believe me, by holding onto this anger and hurt he caused you, you are only hurting yourself. Honest. Been there-done that. Do I still get angry with this guy I was so angry with? Sometimes when I think about how he hurt us-yes, I get the grr's, but not for long. I figure, it's God's problem, and He knows what buttons to push on the guy. Hope this helps. Take care.

Answer 3

Remember, the person that caused you harm will be paid back in some way or another... it may not be today, tomorrow or next week - but it will happen... things have a way of turning back on people...

I wait for payback, I do not laugh when it happens, but i know the person now knows what it felt like, when he caused me harm...Do I live with the anger in my heart? yes.. It is the part of life that you must learn to live with, and don't let it destroy you, remember there will be pay back....

Answer 4

There is only one possible answer to that|

Forgive|||

That is the only way out|


If you forgive, you will heal|

If you don't forgive, you will damn your soul for all eternity|

It is as simple as that|


What forgivness means is that you let go of *all* claims against the other person|

You completely sever the bonds|

For as long as those bonds are present, the person in the past can keep hurting you through those bonds|

But if you let go, the person can have no claim on you|


But that does not mean that justice and punishment are not due to that person|

It just means that you have let go of that for yourself|

God *will* see to that person's punishement - and it will be spectacular and all-satisfying|


But be patient, the justice that God can execute is infinitely better and more satisfying than anything we can come up with ourselves|





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Answer 5

Forgiving is a hard concept to use in life. But once you figure out how to use it, then it becomes easy to forgive someone who has wronged you in the past. Whatever was done, is still done and there is no changing it. Then why be angry at something that can not be changed?

Answer 6

What you should do is prove this person wrong and succeed in life. You should stop thinking about this person and dont give him the time of day or the joy to see you fail. Which that is what he probably wants. The best remedy is to be positive and dont listen to the haters.

Answer 7

"I always have anger in my heart...kind of thing that is remaining in my soul forever."
That is exactly what the person wants and you are letting it happen to you.

Best thing to do is just block it out and move on instead of letting the past control your future.

Answer 8

Beat the hell out of something. Pulverize a concrete block with a lead pipe, go to the shooting range, etc. etc.

But be warned. Beating the actual person is not a good idea.

Answer 9

remind yourself. it's in the past.
it's in the past.
hey guess what, ten seconds has passed, it's even more in the past.
I have been raped, abused, neglected, abandoned, molested, kicked out of my parents house at the age of ten (for not doing anything justifying being kicked out, i was a good kid, my step mom was crazy) and yet, i hold no grudges. and i'm a happy person.
why?
because it's in the past. they cant change it, you cant change it. move on. if you dont it will eat you alive.

Answer 10

Just keep it as a reminder of what people can do and beware of others like them.. just keep it as a little reminder .. and dont hate and dont resent just say it was a learning experience..When you hate and resent it eats your soul away just say it was learning of what people are capable of and just beware..