Do abusive men ever stop the abuse?

Question

If no why are they not given life sentences because they will end up with someone else even ater the past relationship is over?

Answer 1

No. I will never give a 2nd chance to a man who abused me before. My dad is one and he is still rotten in my eyes. Not many of them are even jailed coz there are way too many women who give them chances over and over again though deep inside we all know its worthless. Like mom.

Answer 2

Abusive men can change. Here is why i think that. Many peole have already said that they learned it somewhere, perhaps in childhood. I agree with that. It has been learned somewhere along the line. With an intervention and strong therapy, i feel it can be "unlearned" just as it was learned. People do not become abusive in a day nor do they stop being abusive in a day. Often in life people that are abused or witness it as children will either become a victim of it over and over or be the perpatrator of abuse. This is not always the case. I think that it can be stopped, just not very fast. Abusive men AND women should be punished. Life in prison does happen in some cases of abuse, although it is rather rare. It is unfortunate that some of the sentences for these crimes are so short.

Answer 3

Generally no. However I have witnessed a man going through an extremely difficult time and reacting by turning on everyone around him (including wife and children) lashing out and being generally abusive. When he started facing up to and dealing with the problems he had, his abusive behaviour stopped. I dont know the process, all I know is that it can happen. But I would guess that it involves the realisation on his own part that he has behavioural problems, huge effort of will, determination etc, also any mental health issues would need to be addressed.

Answer 4

ok this is a heated discussion so i am gonna try to shed some light on the subject. when a man is abusive it does not usually start out as physical abuse. that does not usually start until he has broken down his womans psyche to the point where she actually believes that no one else on earth will love them. many truly believe that is there fault when the physical abuse starts. then in some cases it is a matter of a bad temper, men are raised to be strong and in control and that they have to be powerful, and so on and so forth. many are also taught that showing emotions is for women. many abusive men really do not understand that what they are doing is wrong.

This being said my cousin married a man who was the strong stoic type which is a good thing but he had a bad temper. after they got married they got into a fight one night and my cousins husband clocked her right in the eye. she grabbed a kitchen knife and told him if he didnt leave she would use it.

after a couple days he finally called and wanted to come home, she told him that he could come home if he got counseling. he refused saying that he did not need counseling and that men did not do things like that. after a few weeks of living in a hotel he realized that she was not going to let him come back without counseling. so at the time just to placate her he began counseling. as time went on it really sank in, and he began to really listen to his counselor, eventually she let him come home, and they have been together now for going on fifteen years he has continued counseling to make sure he always keeps control of his temper, and they have never had an issue like that since. the only way to break an abusive cycle of violence is to do just that, break it. when that happens it allows both people to figure out how to make it work.

Answer 5

Man's Perspective: No! They don't! They don't get Life, `cause Our Judicial System tries to label it as an illness. And not the root of the problem, that These Perps, think they're God's Gift to Humanity. And they should be taught a lesson. If they were to be treated, like the Women the beat? They'd see how disrespectful they've been. Payback is a Mutha!

Answer 6

You are right.If an abuser is never held accountable for his/her abusive behavior..then they will move on to the next relationship..only to abuse again..over and over again..now..i can not say that all abusers..will not stop abusing..because some of them will..most likely after the fact that they have been arrested for it..facing jail..prison..put under court order to attend anger management classes..seek counseling to stop the abuse.. the ones that do stop..is because they know it is wrong..they do feel remorse for it..they do not even like themselves ..when they are abusing..they want to change..so they do..the ones that do not..move on..to their next victim..they are not afraid of jail..prison..they do not believe..they are the one with the problem..it is always everyone elses fault..except their own..they do not accept responsibility for their actions..their behavior..alot of the time..they will continue to abuse..because the person being abused is in fear of their life...afraid to report the abuse..for fear of retaliation..therefore the abuse goes unreported..the abuser is free to abuse..at his/her will...it must be reported..before ..they can be punished for it in a court of law..i do believe the laws are alot stricter on this..then in the past..the only way..the abuser is going to get a life sentence is..when the abuser kills the person they are abusing..then it is too late..

Answer 7

That is a very good question my mom has let so many men come back into her life because they say that they are with god this time and will never hurt us again well they where lying *******(^%#$@$)_(^%$ ya anyways when ever my mom went to court to get the child payment or whatever they always ended up moving again so they would not have to pay it and the government would lose track of where they where and my mom eventually gave up. if any of my step-dads paid there money we would be living the dream life with how much they ow us.

Answer 8

not without the proper intervention.

i am not sure that life sentences are the right treatment. if a jury finds them to be physically abusive beyond a reasonable doubt then both of their arms should be broken and put in a broken arm jail till they heal.

mentally abusive, perhaps solitary confinement till they flip out and then they can start a rehab program.

yes the stakes are very high in this kind of punishment and due care should be taken to make sure that only the truely guilty recieve this treatment. say perhaps a third strike rule?

unfortunately, it is illegal to impose this punishment on your own and until we can elect the right kind of people to pass this kind of legislation, we will be forced to deal with this element of society for now.

Answer 9

No matter how many promises they make, they will never change!! Once an abusive person, always one! You will probably find they were brought up in an abusive household themselves, so it seems normal to them. I guess at the end of the day it's kinda not their fault. The best punishment for them is to be alone.

Answer 10

Most do not stop abusing. but please do not call them MEN . REAL men do not hit women NEVER. They do not get life tin prison for the same reason child predators do not get life , Too many liberals who think abuse is a treatable disease , I only know of one abuser who was successfully treated, my sisters ex I got a hold of him and ripped him a new one , I got one year suspended sentence and a $4000.00 fine plus his medical bills to include the wheel chair. but he will never stand up to hit another female.