husband gets mean?

Question

my husband gets really mean sometimes, and its getting out of hand. He called me a wh0re today and told me that he hates me (not in a fighting way, just like in general conversation) When i get upset he goes to bed and just sleeps, but I cant sleep coz i am upset. I am 8 months pregnant and I cant cope with this, I dont want to raise my child like this. How can I make him see he is hurting me

Answer 1

I went through this with my second child. You might want to look into figuring out how to be a single mom, becuase it only gets worse. As you've described, it's escalating. Mine was the same way and had the nerve to get physical with me. So, I divorced his sorry butt and rehooked back up with my original man. My children are happy now. Spoiled rotten. My man loves them because he knows me and sees how we all are together. Honey, it's only going to get worse. I know you don't want to hear it. Neither did I. It took broken bones for the message to get through. You need to get out now. My ex even attacked me while holding the baby who was 1 month old. He put me in a choke hold. I'm telling you for your own good and the good of your child. Go to a shelter, to a family member. You don't deserve to be treated so badly.

Answer 2

Oh, I am so sorry for you. He is abusive and a terrible husband. Please consider leaving this man. It seems he delights in hurting you. Find your inner strength and your anger. It is now your job to raise and protect this child. Your child will grow up so messed up if you stay. The example you set will be to let people be abusive to you. If it's a girl, she will likely grow up to marry an abuser and a boy will likely grow up to abuse. Imagine if this child follows your husbands example. Plus, he will probably treat the child this way too. Do it now while there is only one baby. It gets harder the more kids you have.
You asked how can you make him see it is hurting you. Well, he already does see. No can say that and not know it doesn't hurt you. Leave quick, and don't look back.

Answer 3

You can't... He sounds like an absolute pig with no manners, sorry to say that. In the whole time I've been married, and in my parents' relationship, I've never even heard ANYONE calling their spouse such things; it would have been unheard of and utterly unacceptable. It sounds to me like you have failed to set guidelines from the beginning of what is and is not acceptable in the relationship; he is acting the way he's used to (perhaps he grew up in an ignorant family, or is used to hanging out with ignorant friends who do this kind of sh1t), you take offense, but you're not doing anything to stop it; why would he make an effort to change? Obviously, he was "good enough" for you to marry and have a child with him. He probably doesn't even see the extent of his rudeness, to him it's just his normal behavior. I think, you will just have to learn to ignore it and not take it personally; he is unlikely to change - if he does, it'll take a lot of work on your part to make him see how hurtful he can be, and it will be very gradual.

Answer 4

Maybe he just had a bad day. Why would you want to make him see he is hurting you. GUESS WHAT HE KNOWS. He is obviously angry at something and needs to take it out on someone. Is that ok well you already know its not. Why are you there l have no0 idea. Would you like to be raised by a father who shows agressions towards his mother i certainly wouldnt. 8 months pregnant isnt a reason to stay. I am not there so i dont know if this is usual if it is find help to help you not him. let him work himself out. it doesnt sound like he wants your help anyway. Help yourself to say i am better than this my baby is better than this. I dont talk to you like that so dont do it to me. If you do i can only make the assumption that you are not as willing as me to make this family work of which my part is just as valuable as yours. Try this.... Darling i would appreciate it if we made a commitment never to call each other names which harmed our self esteem in any way.. If he laughs thinks your pathetic or demeens you in any way. pack the suit case and say. If you need me ill be at the Hilton with your credit card darl. Counciling or bust.....Literally. Good luck

Answer 5

Both of your emotions are out of control right now and the next year will test the love and patience you have for eacother. He doesn't hate you, I'm sure he's just scared. You need to tell him how you feel when he is feeling really mushy about the baby thing. My son is 14 months and it is very difficult in all aspects. My email is [e-mail]. Life is hard alone and when you add a child just be patient, understanding, and step out of your shoes!

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear that. He sounds like a bastard. You need to pack your things and leave, he is only going to get worse and if he is saying it calmly I would be getting frightened.
Once you have this baby you will become more tired and you will cop it even worse by your husband because you can't go running around after his every need.
He doesn't care that he is hurting you and you need to realise that you will be hurting your baby when its born because it will see how you are being treated.
I seen my mum constantly put down by my father and believe me it is not a nice thing to grow up seeing. At times it got violent.
Get out before your baby is born and stop trying to hang onto this man. You have a chance so take it he does not care about your feelings so go. Once you have the baby you will never go so you need to do it now.
Good luck

Answer 7

There is no excuse for domestic violence. And violence doesn't have to be physical, it can be mental as well. Choices; leave him, have him get counseling, you get counseling, both of you attend couples counseling. Just talking to him might not do any good, but that's certainly the first step. Tell him how you feel when he acts this way. Remind him that it's your feelings we're talking about and your feelings are important to you. You must honor yourself with your choice. You will shortly have your child to care for...so first take care of yourself then yourself and the child. Even if you decide to leave, you might still go to counseling. It helps. Good luck.

Answer 8

Wow, Im sorry. You need to talk. Why does he feel this way?
Was he always this harsh? You need to def sit him down and talk to him and if it doesn't work you may need some marriage couseling. Tell him to grow up and act like an adult because he is going to be a father soon and to start treating you with respect.
Good luck to you and best of wishes!

Answer 9

Well if he would stay up long enough he would tell,,I found out for myself it was easier to say the things I wanted to say in a letter, so I would leave notes for my husband when he came home from work..some just were general, but if I had a gripe, it was easier to right it down and he could have time to read it and then answer....try it

Answer 10

He is afraid of the prospects of having the responsibility of having this child come into YOUR life and he'll be pushed out.
It's a scary idea, having a child.