Parents !! When your daughter is in a guys bed........??

Question

I was on my friends bed. he is 14 and im 17...i was lying there talking to him and suddenly my father entered the room.....

if it was u what will u do as a parent??

lying on a guys bed with him

doing nothing just talking

Answer 1

Dear Manutd,

I'm assuming that you two were just talking and socializing, and nothing else was happening. So I'll go with that for now, ok?

I'm quite sure this was totally innocent, and nothing was going on between you two, but I honestly believe that had you thought this out a little further, you might have realized that it would have put the wrong impression in your fathers mind, and had you prevented it, you wouldn't have had to deal with a freaked out and angry father!

I'm in no way doubting your virtue, and I think this was a big misunderstanding, but I also think it was not really good judgement on your part, and it sent the wrong signal to your father.

My advice to you is to do the right thing, approach your father, assure him that you had no wrong intents, but definitely did not use good judgement, and apologize. It won't hurt you to be mature and do that. And I think that your father will respect you more for doing the mature thing. And in the future, put some daylight between you and your friend, for your fathers sake, and out of respect. I know there are going to be times when you would want your Dad to show you respect, so I think it would be appropriate for you to do the same in this case.

Best wishes!

Answer 2

Your father has been around the block - right?
He's not a stupid man - is he?
He saw teenagers in bed.
You are only kidding yourself if you think you were just lying there talking - what if he came in the room 10 minutes later? What would he have seen then?

Honestly, first I would kill you and then I would talk to you about what a big age difference 17 and 14 is and then I'd finish with a great big sex talk and grounding.

Why is a 17 year old hanging around with a 14 year old anyway?

Answer 3

As a parent I would at first probably be aliitle shocked. I would sit down with daughter and find out what was going on and express to her why this may bother me. I think it depends too on how well you and this guy know each other. I was bestfriends with three guys growing up and my family knew them really well. These guys would never be a concern to my family and I would even have sleepovers with them while growing up and as we got older it was okay for me to be in a bedroom with them listening to music, talking, playing on computer etc. The one boy and I stayed at each others homes alot, even till we were into our early twenties and moved out on our own. So, I think as a parent if we know the boy well then we would be okay with it but if they don't know them well I can see it being an issue. They aren't being mean, they just worry so out of respect to them try to avoid these situations, ask them if you can go in the room to talk, leave the door open, talk somewhere else... if it is nothing than this shouldn't be a problem!

Answer 4

If my 17 year old daughter was Lying on a bed with a guy, and i walked into the room, i wouldn't be too quick to judge.

i would like to think that at the age of 17 i would completely trust my daughter to make the right decision about guys.
dont get me wrong i would still be there for her, but i would trust her judgement

Answer 5

In the real world I would never allow a boy and a girl to be alone in a bedroom alone together regardless of how old they are or what they are doing. You can talk in the living room, in the kitchen or outside. It is not appropriate for teenagers to be alone in each others bedrooms. The opportunity for something to happen is always there. Get rid of the opportunity and nothing can happen. You should be thinking about school work, college, your future not lying of a guys bed, "just talking."

Answer 6

Door open, not feeling each other up, just talking? I wouldn't do anything. Few 17 year old girls are attracted to 14 year old boys, and they're not likely to be doing anything that could lead to something else with all of their parents in the house and the door open. Evil to him who evil thinks. Sin is in the heart of the beholder. Etc. I take it your dad went ballistic just to prove that he's a good dad protecting his little girl's virtue? Sorry about that. Sometimes it's a role that's hard for parents to outgrow.

Answer 7

I would raise my daughter to not allow herself into situations where she may be tempted and compromise her values. If it was in MY house, the bedroom is off limits. If she were to go to a boys house, I would make it clear to HIS parents that the bedroom is off limits, and they are never to be in the house if adults are not present. There are PLENTY of other ways to have fun with a "friend" that dont involve being alone, unsupervised, in a bedroom, with the opposite sex. When you are a teen, its easy for your hormones to override what your mind and heart knows is right. If my daughter could not abide by the rules that I laid down, she would have priveleges taken away. If she proves that she is trustworthy, she would earn MORE freedoms. If I had caught her in the boys room, on his bed, with the door closed, I would have told her to get up, taken her home, and she would no longer have as many freedoms until she proved herself to me again. A girl has to have some self-respect and dignity. You have the rest of your life to "hang out" with boys. Do it when you are an adult, and can afford to take care of a child if you "accidently" have sex and get pregnant.

Answer 8

Nope- up and out of the bed because it is the beginning of getting comfortable in that setting. The rationale goes something like this:

Its like once you start having sex its seems that its the standard in a relationship, so then you do more interesting stuff. If you've been chilling in bed with people, and then you actually like them, how do you show them that you like them more than all the other peopel you've hung out in the bed with? ...sex maybe?

And I'm 22. I remember getting told to be out the bed like it was yesterday. I personally do not think that teenagers of opposite sex need to be in one another's rooms.

Answer 9

I would be a little concerned, but at least you guys weren't doing anything and there were no signs of trouble.

When I was growing up the rules in our house were no boys in the bedrooms and no closed doors. Helped me not to have these sticky situations.

Answer 10

Did your parents now you and him were in there together.? Were they ok with it. Have they told you that yes you can have a guy in your room but no sitting on the bed.?

Were you doing anything wrong. ?

If I said it was ok that my daughter had her boyfriend in her room and I walked in no I would not be mad. Had I said he was not to be in there then all hell would break loos and he would be kicked out.