My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and up until about a month ago things were awesome. We spent a lot of time together and constantly reminded each other about how much we loved one another. She has a 3 year-old son who I think is awesome and have spent a lot of time with also. Last month I noticed a change in my girlfriend. All of the little things that she used to do almost completely stopped. An example is text messaging me on a random basis letting me know she loves me or is thinking of me. I was reluctant to ask her about it because I didn't want to be a nag. But eventually I had to say something. She told me that she had been thinking and that she feels that our relationship has moved too fast and that she feels we need to slow it down. After much thought I told her that I understood and was willig to do what it took to keep this relationship going. I'm trying to be patient and hope she "comes around" but am I fighting a losing battle? Please help!
2007-02-06 17:20:08 · 10 answers · asked by confused01 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's obvious that she's already been burned once. Although I don't know why she is single with a child, I am guessing the father of the child split on her, leaving her alone with a baby. She mat be afraid that you be do the same. Many women are afraid of being screwed over by men when there is a child involved. My wife was afraid to have a serious relationship at first, too. It took about 6 years before she would marry me, and we are were in our 30's with no children or anything.
If you truly love her, follow at her pace and if she loves you, you'll eventually be the winner.
2007-02-06 18:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know that you are there whenever she's ready. That's all you can do anyway. When she comes around she will be grateful that you are a wonderful boyfriend and an even better friend. Give her some time to think and some space to breathe. More than likely she's just scared and who wouldn't she has a child to think about. :) Everything will be just fine, if you just leave her alone for a bit.
2007-02-06 18:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by DiG iT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, anything can make a girl think that. sometimes I think my relationships are fine but if i'm talking to my friends they may make some little comment that makes me rethink things. maybe someone was like "geez you guys are getting close, geez you guys move fast dont you, etc" that she might not have thought about. or else, maybe she was thinking and she thinks you guys should just take it slow. I don't know what she means by take it slow, because stopping all those things all together is like going back to not even dating. I would ask her how she means, what are the boundaries, etc. Don't be pushy cuz it could turn her off but just ask her to be a little more specific.
2007-02-06 17:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that she is just re-evaluating the situation before moving forward. Love is scary and when you love hard, you lose a bit of control. Just give her a minute and maybe she'll come around. I would send her a text saying "I thought about you today and wanted to let you know." Its not too pushy but will let her know that she's on your mind.
2007-02-06 17:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space! Women hate to be too smothered. If you give her some room to breathe, she will most likely respect that and come back to you, but if you keep pushing her, it will backfire and you will lose her. Believe her when she said she needed to slow things down some! good luck
2007-02-06 17:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by bambi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't think too much of it. Hopefully you have a good group of buddies that can see you through this rough patch. And if things break off? There are a ton of other girls out there. She'll learn not everybody will be so nurturing to her baby mama drama.
2007-02-06 17:51:01 · answer #6 · answered by bobbymcshankleby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, she has a child to think about. His needs have to come first. I'm sure that's on her mind as much as anything else. Give her some space, and see what happens.
2007-02-06 17:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by Chris S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. sounds like shes becoming uninterested. for what reasons, i dont know, you sound like a great guy. anyway, nagging her will not work so you know that already. my ex's constand nagging made me leave him ... its exhausting. give her time to think about things and if it doesnt work out im sure youll find a great girl. just remember no nagging or extreme questioning... its bothersome.
2007-02-06 17:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by california 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sound like she just need her space, so give it to her, but if it
meant to happen it will.
2007-02-06 17:26:44 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, give her space...
2007-02-06 17:51:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋