how do you trust again after being hurt so many time? can you just get over it?
2007-02-06 16:58:06 · 17 answers · asked by crazysmith187 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Take it as something you decide to do or not.
Sometimes we know that we are being cheated, but we are "so in love" that we act like nothing is wrong. We decide to TRUST, so we forgive and keep going thinking that our partner is going to "change" for good. 95% of the time cheaters don't change. Believe me! It does not matter how much they cry and swear "this was the first time, but I really love YOU!" LIE!
So, in our next relationship we become suspicious of every single detail. If he didn't call when he was supposed to, if he stayed late at the office..or whatever! To be playing the detective 100% of the time can make our lifes miserable. Because the last relationship failed even when we trusted, in the next one we decide that we are NOT GOING TO TRUST as we did before.
So, whats the best thing to do? TRUST SMART. Don't be fooled by tears, promises, lies... if you broke with someone because you proved his infidelity, don't give him a second chance. If you move on to the next relationship, don't blame the new guy with the sins of the old one.
Every relationship is different and unique. I was married and I had two wonderful boys with this guy who was a compulsive cheater...I got the divorce. Then, after few years, I met this new guy. I made our lives miserable by my constant "checking on him"...
I learned my lesson, and now that I am married again, I take care of my husband but I also have a life! I go to church, work, take care of my children, go to school ... we love and respect each other, and I hope you find the person that you can trust on and have a wonderful life without worries!
2007-02-06 18:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by eli_davila2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I ask myself that question so very often.. it is soooooooooo hard to trust someone when you have been so hurt!
You can't stay away forever though. What I do is: I make sure to tell the person i am deciding to trust how hurt I have been! To let them know I may have a hard time trusting them and not take it personally. Then, I tell how I have been hurt and by who..And they will understand and be supportive and the bond is growing from there! Tehn, you start to talk about other things.. If you feel insecute, you just tell the person. I have done that many many times.. That's my advice for you!
2007-02-07 01:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you've got to realise each person is different from the other. You also have to review the kind of people you are trusting, they probably have something similar in one way or the other or it could be some quality that you like that is actually not good enough. Learn not to take frustrations from one relationship to the next. And most of all don't compare. Speak out your emotions all the time to let the other person know how you feel. You are special, so believe me there's an angel out there just for you! Good luck.
2007-02-07 01:16:19 · answer #3 · answered by Sangie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a something like a reinforcement bar, once it is snapped, that's it because no matters how u patch it up the reinforcement bar, the line of crack is there forever and the quality of the reinforcement bar is no longer the same as before unless a replacement of new reinforcement bar. - Engineer's choice.
For my case, I don't have other alternative of my life and I have to live up with it.
2007-02-07 14:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember. The person god has for you deserves you at your best. You can't carry around past bitterness and regrets and expect to love completely when love finds you. I would rather be hurt a million times than to never take the chance and be lonely.
2007-02-07 01:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its going to be tough to move on after being hurt so many times. But you have to realize that there is someone out there for you and he will come to your life when you are ready for him. I know it may seem imposible but it can happen. Believe me, i know. I thought i could never be loved again but i found love again and i couldn't be happier.
2007-02-07 01:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by drew46759 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a look at the kind of people you trust. What made you trust them?
Lots of great, loving and trustworthy people out there. Just have to be careful in what kind of people you're attracting.
2007-02-07 01:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by Geico Caveman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand way you are concerned but you have to treat each person as an individual and do not assume that everyone will hurt you. Eventually you will find some one who will love you and not hurt you.
2007-02-07 09:35:15 · answer #8 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have got to find out why you are getting hurt...is it because you are hurt and never got over it...or is it because you allow yourself to be hurt...counseling can help with that
I am the same way...and all I can say is..you live and you learn...
But I have found that forgiveness is a great thing, but the best thing about forgiveness is that you don't have to allow people to do it again...you can change the type of relationship that you have with someone...and that is o.k.
2007-02-07 01:00:52 · answer #9 · answered by LIFECOACH 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Because you can't blame someone for what someone else did. You just have learn the lesson and hope that the next time around is better.
2007-02-07 01:33:37 · answer #10 · answered by Loki's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋