Her sexdrive is gone?

Question

My lovely partner seems nolonger interested in sex, we have been together for almost a year now (living togther aswell) and over the past 4 months its almost stopped. Now before i get told im not paying enought attention to her needs please understand that i am a very generouse loverm i always have taken care of her needs before mine (usually more then once, aint muitlables fun ) . The problem is nothing gets her in the mood anymore, it wasnt to long ago when just the sight of me naked would make her ready for sex , now im pulling out my best stuff and its like her body no longer reacts to the stimilus the same way, i keep trying new things with her , every kinky thing i can think off just incase shes bored shes noes theres nothing i wont doo to please her but still she just doesnt want it. About 1 in 5 times she says shes in the mood we start fallplay only to have it stop as even 10 mins in im failing to get any postive feed back from her body ( more info coming).

she says she loves me and wants to marry me and nags me for the ring lol but the passion seems to be gone. I already do most of the work around the house and cook to take the workload of her so she might have the energy to come and PLAY with me but still it doesnt get her in the mood. Most of the time when she does aggree to play she just lays there these days with her eyes shuts and i do all the fall play, she wont even rub my body with her hand like its to much effort , the only time she does anything during the act itself these days is right at the end when she just wants to get me off so she can go to sleep. HELP ME HER PASSIONS ? INTEREST IS GONE WHATS GOING ON? COULD IT BE ANYTHING MEDICAL? I dont think its anything else as i try everything to spice things up. HELP!!!!

ok were only 23 so shoudlnt be a age thing. Shes not cheating , even if she wanted to she wouldnt have time lol. O i do know when shes enjoying herself its not a hard thing to tell when she reaches orgasim its a very "wet " show she puts on, thats why i stop when i know shes not in the mood i can read her body ignals very very well. And we have had a heart to heart she doesnt know whats going on herself she says she just doesnt think about it anymore its not unitll i bring it up that she remembers. The only other thing i can think of is shes put on 8 kgs over the year buts shes working that off now (well trying to)

ok i do give her massaages already, and i am a cuddler so where always still in each others arms. I know she still loves me as every morning i wake up with her drapped all over me, i wake up all thru the night and no matter how many times i untangle her off me and move away from her , i wake up again and shes cuddling up to me again.

Answer 1

Sounds like shes doing somebody else and she for some reason cant leave you. It is what it is................

Answer 2

Of course it COULD be something medical but my guess is the newness of the relationship has worn off. We aren't programmed to live continuously in the new passionate state of "getting to know each other" all our lives. There's a time & a place for everything. She obviously sees your relationship as progressed & therefore is wanting a ring & you're still seeing it in the fun, flirty new stage. Men have a hard time moving out of that "hot sex all hours of the day" stage to real intimacy & togetherness. You still want her to want you just at the sight of you naked. As someone who is obviously older than you & been married for a while I can tell you that goes away. It's a natural occurance. Talk to her about it. My best advice of all is this....get it worked out BEFORE the ring. Don't even think about advancing this relationship if you're "needs" aren't already being met. If you are this unhappy now I can promise you that you will be one miserable creature if you marry this woman thinking things are going to go "back to normal." If you really love her & she really loves you then you both need to talk openly about the problem & compromise.

Answer 3

She love you but it seems as if she might be stressed out. If a woman is under extreme pressure and disappointment esp. with her lover then the sex is the first thing to go.

I suggest that you get a lovely makeup card. Take her to a nice restaurant and the two of you just have some alone time and talk about all the little things that you like about each other. Then do something that she has been asking you to do for months that you really rebel ed about and do it. Light candles in your bedroom and just lay down cuddling (no sex) unless she progresses to that. Then on the 2ND night take a intimate shower with her and pamper her (no sex). On the next night lay her something nice and sexy on the bed (spray it with her favorite perfume) and gently put it on her while telling her that she is everything you evered imagined. ALSO TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER VERY MUCH and please excuse you for being so inconsiderate.

Answer 4

Hmmm, looks like alot of people have covered the same things here. You've also given responses to those.....ex: you two have talked and she says that even she dosen't know what is going on but yet she is still interested in you AND still would like to marry you.

Leave it alone for a little while, the trying to get her to acheive orgasm ( I know- REAL hard thing to do). Do "cuddly sex" not kinky sex, but don't do it w/the intent of taking it the rest of the way. Just explore her body and show her that you can do this w/out her having to worry about having to perform for you. That you enjoy her body and think she's beatiful in and OUT of bed.

She may see your frustration and wants to please you, which puts a stress on her, which then causes her "drive" to actually shut down. See the vicious cycle? So try this for awhile, kind of like an extended out foreplay/tease.

Also too, if she is willing, go ahead and have sex with her even if her body is not responding. By stopping you may be sending her unknown signals. But make it "quickie" sex, cause if a woman's body is not interested it can get sore. Then cuddle her afterwards and say THANK YOU for being there for you, even if she didn't get anything and that you acknowledge her willingness. Let her find her own way back to her body and her interest. SHOW HER that you're willing to be there for her as she goes through this time right now and she doens't have to worry about you flying off the handle and getting sexualy frustrated at the same time. I hope that helps!! I feel for you...I've been in the same boat, just the reverse w/ my guy being the one to lose interest. But we're working on it, and it took me laying off. ~_^

Answer 5

I don't think it is totally normal. I think if i were you, since you are so concerned would need to have a sit down talk with her. Maybe go through a check list of things with her.
Don't jump to conclusions though!! Let her talk and defend herself before you let the trust out of your relationship. Once, you get Prueconceived ideas in your head (like maybe she is cheating) it can lead any relationship into the ground. Because, maybe she is depressed or unhappy with her body or really having a difficult time at work and just too stressed to think about anything else.
I would definitely try to go to some pre-marriage counseling, if you guys are definitely set on doing that in the future. Not, just because of her lack of interest in sex, but to maybe figure out if you are both wanting the same things. Because maybe she See's you are Mr. Right, and does want to marry you but deep down she isn't in love. Who knows...i could go on and on, but you never know how another person is feeling or thinking until you talk to them. So, really make a point to sit down and really listen to her and maybe she will see how much you care.
Good Luck! Relationships are tough, but they are worth it when two people are striving for the same goals and they both know it!

Answer 6

This is totally normal now I do not know your age but alot of women in there mid-late 30's tend to lose some of that sex-drive
in some cases it is pre-menopause. The other thing is maybe you are placing to much of your marriage on sex and you have stopped communicating maybe she needs to have a more
emotional connection with you outside of sex. You need to talk find out what is bothering her maybe she just wants a break whatever you do do not cheat on her. Maybe you need to learn better techniques what you think is good may just suck next time you have forplay ask her if it feels good or if she would like to tell you where to touch, lick etc. It's better to get a little direction to get her motor revving then to have her lye there like a wet noodle.
Remember she will always know her body better then you.

Answer 7

Ok there could be a few reasons:
1. She doesn't love you anymore.
2. She has something else preoccupying her mind.
3. You *think* you are meeting her needs, but she doesn't feel the same way.

Regardless, you need a heart to heart with her. The only person that can really help you, is her.

. . . if she wants a ring, maybe she's punishing you.

Answer 8

I am your age and i have a very large sex drive, the only things that have made me not want to have sex were anti-anxiety medication, birth control, or lack of exercise in my daily life.
Another thing it could be is a lack of something in another aspect of your relationship. Often times even the most minuscule things that may upset a comfortably balanced relationship can affect your sex life. I am having a similar problem with my husband, not nearly as bad as you have it, but I can empathize. Good luck!

Answer 9

There could be a problem you don't know about. I went through this and it was my job that I was unhappy with. It really stressed me out and I just didn't feel like sex. I didn't want to tell my husband because I didn't want to bother him with it. You should tell her you will listen to any problem she might be having. Not just the sex or relationship problems. Other than that maybe she should talk to her ob/gyn.

Answer 10

There could be many reasons mental and physical. Depending on her age,Peri menapause or Menapause. Maybe you are trying to hard,why not relax and see if she makes the move on you. Have a talk with her and maybe suggest that she see her Dr. and go with her.The Dr. will listen to you both.

Answer 11

I don't know if she is on birthcontrol, but if she is, that could be the culprit. I know that when I was on birthcontrol, I had no drive at all. It didn't even matter what type I took---it would deminish it. You need to talk to her and get to the root of what is going on---kindly if it all possible. Good Luck!