My Husband works all the time.?

Question

He works because he enjoys it. And now he joined a club where he is the top officer and in his spare time he is at the club working.
We don't have any time together except at the club where he puts on events. Now he has me doing some of his club work. And I don't enjoy it because its all inside and its work. Life is to short to work all the time. All he talks about is work and work at the club.
Our kids are grown and now is our time to have some fun and travel. He said he is happy with what he is doing. I feel I have freedom now and I am alone. Maybe we grew apart, in our interest?

Answer 1

You need to tell him that you both need a holiday away together that all this work is driving you crazy. That you understand that he enjoys work but that you also need some of his attention. Explain to him that you feel a distance growing between you and you love him to much to let it continue. That you deserve to take presidence over his work you are his wife and you need to be loved and respected and right now all he loves and respects is his work. He sounds self absorbed by work maybe you to have not been doing the whoppy for a long time and well he has know reason to come home give him a reason get sexy do stuff like when you first met you know what I mean. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

It could be that being a top officer at the club makes him feel important and like he's contributing to the community. Maybe he's afraid that if he gives up work and club activities, he'll become bored and will feel worthless. If you try to force him to quit, he'll probably only resent you.

If you don't want to help with his club activities, be honest with him and tell him. Explain that while you appreciate his interest in the club, you just don't have the same interest and that you'll be finding your own club and/or group to participate in.

Check around your area and see what activities are available that you could join. If you are a senior, there are probably alot of local tours offered at your local senior center. See if there's a red hat society chapter in your area. They do alot of fun activities. Check with your local travel agent for a tour that you could maybe go on.

Then try to work out a compromise with your husband where each of you will devote so much time to your own activities, as long as he agrees to spend so much time doing something together with you.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Annie, he may be working because he always has. He may be afraid that if he quits, or slows down, then the bad things of age will catch up to him. Men do have their worries, and usually do not know what to do about them.
I think you need to confront him, and try to find out why he is doing all of the work. While you are at it, be sure nothing is going on, and check your response to him. How do you treat him? You might be doing something that annoys him, so he escapes. I also think that you need to get into doing things with other women, it might just make him jealous enough to begin paying more attention to you. When the situation does break, however it breaks, be there for him, he'll need it.

Answer 4

Maybe you all should try some counseling...

It is quite possible that he is overcompensating for something in life...

That could be finances...not knowing how to do anything else but work...or it could be an outlet...

I think that is the most logical thing to do...at least so you can come up with the best way to deal with the situation...

If he doesn't have time to go, then maybe you could find someone that could come and counsel at your chosen place...just so you make it a convenience to get it...

Then..you can decide on what you should really diagnose the situation to be....

Answer 5

I know what you mean I am at that point in my life also. My husband is 12 yrs. younger and has started his own Remodeling and Additions Co. and he works 14 hr days alot to get things going. I work in the office about 4-6 hrs. a day. I am standing by him though because it is his dream and he loves what he is doing. And who knows someday it could really take off. I suggest that if you really love him stand by him and talk to him about your feelings and make a date night 1 night a week no shop talk. That help us. Good luck.

Answer 6

I hate to say this but how do you know if he is not cheating on you? Usually that is an excuse men have used when committing affairs. Perhaps you can be involved in the club in some way that you both can chat about it. Such as helping out for an event or learning something new. It's time to think about yourself and do something that you enjoy. :)

Answer 7

Tell your husband he needs to spend some quality time with you or the marriage is over. But you should still let him spend time with his interests. Just find some interests of your own. You don't have to be together all the time, especially since your kids are grown. But he still needs to feel like he is your husband, not a roommate.

Answer 8

as a woman you can also find other things that interest you so that you won't be bored, put up a business that interests you the most, you can travel alone, it is more exciting ...

but the sad part is, your'e partner is not there... talk to him honey ... he can not see youre side not until you start opening up to him ....

Answer 9

Have you talked to him about this? If he truly loves you he will understand, if he doesn't care, then you definately need to go to councelling. Preferrably with him, but go without if he refuses. Talking about it will clear up a lot of things regarding his feelings for you and his commitment to your marriage, over his work. Good luck to you!

Answer 10

you seriously need to find your own hobbies and interests, and busy yourself with that.......of course you two should spend more time together outside of any sort of work related function, it's really unfair that he expects you to come to his side all the time, stand up for yourself and take some much needed me time....