Hey there, college guy here. I just found out my roommate (another guy) is gay. We get along well, but we never really talked about our sexuality. He always seemed straight to me. But a few days ago, I passed by his room (two bedroom apt), and I noticed he had put up a few posters of shirtless men! I mean, not like celebrities or anything, but really gay stuff. No two men kissing, but lots of shirtless men and abs, and whatever. It's kinda making me sick! He never told me he was gay. I don't have a problem with it, but what can/should I do???? please!
2007-02-06 15:55:27 · 22 answers · asked by euges116 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
WATCH OUT.
i had someone gay like me before..there are nice so just be friends with them.
hope this helps lol
2007-02-06 15:58:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
I think you might be assuming too much too soon. Why don't you ask him if he is? I don't mean straight out, are you gay or something - but maybe what is up with the posters? Are you getting into body building or are you into guys? If you say it straight, without being accusatory but curious why he put them up, he will more than likely tell you. Maybe he trusts you enough to let you know but doesn't know how to tell you. Just don't jump to conclusions if that is all you have.
And if he is, what is the big deal? I have several gay friends (I'm a girl), but even bigger than that is that my husband has a great friend he found out was gay 15 years after they met. My husband is a big time testosterone dude (ice hockey, jumping out of planes, as many women as he could find) and this friend was a close second, so he never had a clue. They are still friends (though they only stay in contact about 1 time a year or 2 (but stayed close friends for several years after he found out).
It is a matter of acceptance... if he is gay, he is wondering if you will still accept him. If he is, I hope you do. It says a lot about a man's own security/insecurty when he can or cannot accept another man being gay.
It sounds like I am preaching to the choir, though. You sound like you don't have a problem with it. Just approach him casually, like I recommended above. If he doesn't answer like you want, slowly let him know that homosexuality doesn't bother you (like when you see it on TV and stuff). If it is his first time "coming out", it might be harder for him and take more time.
2007-02-06 16:15:59 · answer #2 · answered by itsjustfoolishness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably ignore it, if it doesn't bother you then what exactly is the problem?
I happen to be a rather conservative guy, but I have a lot for friends who are gay... Hell I used to play darts with a friend of mine at this gay bar in lake Tahoe (no jokes thanks). I work in the hospitality field which has a lot of openly gay men in it. Some of my gay friends, you would never know they were gay unless they told you.
It really means nothing.
you said you two get along fine, you have no problems with it, then you should not worry. he is the same person he was before you found out he was gay.
Talk to him, ask him if he is, get it out in the open. if you really don't care simply explain that you straight but are ok with it. odds are it wont change your relationship he may look at you funny at first though.
however if you don't think you can handle having a gay room mate then work it out with him, one of you will have to leave or something.
But honestly, if you are just worried he might try something on you, then you are letting your imagination get away with you.
best of luck.
2007-02-06 16:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by Stone K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might just be into working out and stuff. But even if he is gay will it really make that much of a difference haha. It's not like he dreams about having sex with you or something. Just ask him openly hey I thought you were straight but now I am wondering if you are gay because of those posters.
2007-02-06 16:01:06 · answer #4 · answered by Beaverscanttalk 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the problem is not the roommate. The issue is how you relate to one's declaration of who they are.
Since you said it's making you sick, it involves an out-of-prpoportion response, which is commonly attribituted to internalized homophobia, a fear of latent homosexualuity in onesself.
Before you can begin to help, or understand your friend, you need to work on yourself. Get counseling and determine why the concect of gay sex is so repugnant to you.
Only when you get at the root of your issues will you be able to do to things:
1) You will be in a better position to offer emotional support for whatever issues might appear with your emerging friend's coming out.
2) You will confront the struggle of conflicting sexual orientation issues with in yourself and gain a better sense of your own sexuak identity. This can only help you grow into a more rounded persoan as you come to gruips with what makes you tick,
2007-02-06 16:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by leliorisen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh, if you didn't have a problem with it you wouldn't have gotten sick to your stomach, and "what should I do?" wouldn't even be a question. Actually, if you didn't have a problem with it, you would have just noticed the posters and went along your marry way without blinking an eye.
But since you do have a problem with it, I would suggest moving if it's going to upset you so much.
2007-02-06 16:05:43 · answer #6 · answered by Joa5 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gay guys won't bother you if you don't bother them. It's kind of a shock to meet a living breathing gay guy for the first time - especially if it's your roommate. If his behavior gets outlandish of course you can set limits just like you'd set limits if a straight roommate got outlandish.
And on the positive side - maybe he can help you with your wardrobe and haircut! Could be a great boon to you on your straight dating life!
2007-02-06 16:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to do anything. What's the problem? If he hits on you, tell him you're not gay. That'll be the end of it.
If suddenly he invites some of his gay friends over and they stay up late listening to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive," at top volume while yo're trying to sleep, THEN you've got a problem. :-)
Seriously tho, be cool. Don't worry about this -- it's not a problem.
2007-02-06 15:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by Tom K 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
nothing. if you realy are straight then why make a fuss,the ones who get scared are the closet gays,homophobs,im straight with a beautiful wife and baby girl,i have a great friend whos gay,haveing a gay friend is and was the same when you didnt know he was gay,drop your friend or just say who cares,its realy up to you,how you judge people is your busisness
2007-02-06 16:00:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If hes not trying to convert you and you don't have a problem let it go you have a great chance to observe life as it really is for some people
2007-02-06 16:07:42 · answer #10 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seriously just don't look in his room. If he's cool and all and you get along than why bother ruining a decent living arrangement, by bringing it up and embarrassing him. It will only make things awkward.
2007-02-06 16:02:36 · answer #11 · answered by Destiny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋