in his name only. there is no other money his check gets direct deposit to it and he only wants to give me money in my own acct with my own checks which he never puts any money in he has to know all the checks written of course i have no access to any cash i only work two days a week and i have two children at home i do not know how to take this or know what to do it seems very cruel to me like im a nobody. i feel like i dont even exist.
2007-02-06 15:44:40 · 21 answers · asked by tiger 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Something is up, either he is about to leave or you have major spending problems that he is trying to stop. If he isn't even giving you money to take care of the children I would definitely think he was about to leave. I would talk to an attorney and confront him. The few women I've known in similar circumstances found that their husbands were doing this to hide hotel bills and expense of gifts for other women. It's wrong of him and you shouldn't let a man treat you that way and make you feel that way, you two are supposed to be a team.
2007-02-06 15:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off: Do you feel there was any problem before? In other words were there any arguments as to the handling of the money. If so he might be trying to take control. Were you both ever struggling financially? or have you been living paycheck to paycheck. Why are you working? Is it necessary; or something casual? As a thought maybe he feels that your money should be yours and he doesn't want to take advantage. This is only a positive thought. As to the previous fellow saying he is preparing to leave; though harsh as it may seem - he might be right. So this would delve further into why he would come to that. All other questions aside if you have no one to turn to like close friends to inquire as to what is going on; you might need to sit down and have a talk with your husband. If you put things straight out you will get a reaction and this should tell you many things. 24 years is quite a long time; do you have any gut feelings about this? Like have you ever had any suspicions or is this something sudden? You need to recall whether other things have changed also; like intimate behavior; communication on a daily basis or even habits when he's home.
2007-02-06 16:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by nestor_armas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well something has been going on alot LONGER than just the flare up you mention...Clearly he's been unhappy and maybe it's him and most likely it's the two of you as a couple...Do you know your role in all this? I'll bet you do, and I'll bet it's been coming for some time, but you've had "blinders" on. You need counseling...Serious counseling. Perhaps if he knows you're going for this? He will join you...I don't know. Right now? He needs some space from you, that's pretty apparent. Perhaps you've overwhelmed him with pressure - do you work? Do you contribute to the house in more ways than just being a mother? IT MATTERS. A counselor will help you sort all this out...And whether it's too late or not for his return? Hopefully? It will change your life for the better in the long run...I am hopeful, however, he does NOT abandon his girls...That would be tragic for all. Seek help soon. Grace
2016-05-24 01:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be getting ready to leave, but how old is he?? Could this be his mid-life crisis? Everyone goes threw this at some point in time. I'm not taking his side on this. If he is not planning on leaving, has he ever showed any signs of being dominating? Maybe he is just trying to take a hold of you. Or maybe he feels you are the one who has one foot out the door, and now he has the power to make it so that doesn't happen. Have you asked why he is doing this???? That's something you should do. I might not start out with "ARE YOU LEAVING" but that you don't understand why things are changing all of a sudden. Good Luck!!
2007-02-06 15:58:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is getting ready to split. I would talk to the bank and find out how he removed your name without your consent though. I'm pretty sure they have to have you sign to be removed from the account. Talk to the branch manager and if they are no help, ask for the corporate number. If he does, heaven forbid, leave, you might want to file a police report on this if he is taking your money.
EDIT: I agree with the idea of putting all the bills in his name. That way he gets stuck with the poor credit rating if they aren't paid. Most states entitle you to half of the estate so take him for all he's got if he's going to leave you after 24 years.
2007-02-06 15:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by Loki's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your name was on the account before, he cannot remove your name without you signing a paper from the bank stating this is okay. If you signed, you are screwed. If you didn't, go to the bank and talk to them, you may still be able to have access to the account. If you have to, keep it secret and start stashing back a little money at the time in an account in a different bank with your name only. It seems to me like he is trying to control you. If all else fails, your paycheck is yours, get an account like I said before and deposit it in there. I wonder if he is up to something, it sound very fishy to me. Keep an eye on him and start stashing money.
2007-02-06 15:56:22 · answer #6 · answered by country girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have previously posted that your husband wants a divorce. Clearly, he is taking steps in that direction. You need to get some temporary orders NOW to avoid finding yourself penniless. Temporary orders can order alimony, child support and that he continue to pay bills/mortgage until the divorce is final. Don't let him just stop paying and run away. Call the courthouse or legal aid and get the forms or see a lawyer right away. You need to take the first step in order to avoid some real hardship for you and your children.
Good luck.
2007-02-06 23:42:01 · answer #7 · answered by CV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'd feel the same. I feell like he put the value of money above and beyond the value of you. What's up with that? Guys don't like confrontation. My ex was the same way. So I got a job and he had to take care of the kids while I was gone. He didn't like it but at least I had money.
2007-02-06 15:51:29 · answer #8 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him and get alimony and child support. The nerve of him after all you've done for him, 2 children and all the nonsense you put up with. Oh and don't forget half of everything. Good Luck!
2007-02-06 15:54:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and left there because he thought I wouldn't be able to live without him because I have seizures and can't drive so he thought he had me trapped and it came to a shock when I left him.
And I can tell you this before we where legally divorced he had to pay me $50.00 a week and then I was able to get him for stress that I had because of him. Talk to a lawyer about that and see what they tell you.
2007-02-06 16:23:38 · answer #10 · answered by T78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋