Ive been with my boyfriend for 6yrs now. We have a 22 month son. I thought things were going great and then I really started to pay attention to things. We barely talk(unless txting counts), we dont go do anything, there is not any kind of intamcy..and things just dont feel right. in fact last month he sent me a txt and told me to move out because he wanted to see other people. then he sent me another one and said for me not to leave about 3 hours later. things were good after that for like a day. anytime i try to talk to him about this he gets mad. I thought we were headed toward him proposing but it hasnt happened. any advice? i love him and i know he loves me..maybe were in a rut?! any suggestions on how to get out of a rut and spice up all aspects of our love life?
2007-02-06 15:35:44 · 13 answers · asked by Brittani S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
go to therapy together.
First of all, if he agrees to go that is your huge answer right there! He's willing= he wants to make effort and is worth it
He's not willing= Cut bait and go.
I know how it is, I was engaged and then found out I was expecting. We got married....Things were stressful. we argued alot, went to therapy, would fight about that..... I had the baby, and six weeks later, I found a bra in my bedroom that wasn't mine. So we got divorced, now I am a single mom. not my first choice, but it is possible to do.
So see, if you feel now that you don't have anything bonding you together, and he is saying he wants to see other girls.... I guess my advice to you is that getting married is a really easy thing to do. Getting divorced is the hardest, most stressful, and will be very messy with children involved. Be sure you guys are strong together before you jump into that one. You're at a point where you have to ask yourself, is this worth it? Are you happy? How will you feel if he cheats?? Don't ever forget that you are smart and young enough and deserve better than to settle for less. Don't be with someone who doesn't really want to be with you. It's better for your child to have two Happy Parents in TWO homes, than two unhappy parents in ONE home.
2007-02-06 16:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the relationship is already over, emotionally at least. It sounds like he's still there physically only because you two have a son. You need to have a sit down talk, no cell phones. If he doesn't want to talk about it or work it out, give him an ultimatium. Either talk about it or you're leaving. Personally I think you should leave, if it's not working, it's not working. Find someone who gives a damn about you and will make both you and your son happy. If you do leave, don't forget the child support, especially if he is having an affair.
2007-02-06 16:07:01 · answer #2 · answered by Loki's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is already planning to see others, may have someone waiting . think u should distance yourself from this person, he is at the point right now that he isn't quite sure but he is on the verge. why assume the problem is u, when it really isn't. he gets mad because he doesn't really want u to know the truth here. so sorry things are going badly for u but it takes two to work on a relationship.
2007-02-07 00:46:57 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he propose? You're giving him all the advantages of a marriage without the vows of fidelity. And certainly not even having a child together made a difference to him. I hate to say this - but he's probably plotting his exit - no intimacy, no sharing - hunn, he's counting his lucky stars that he doesn't have to go thru the legal hassles of a divorce. My best advice - protect yourself and your child - because you can't count on him to be around if he couldn't even be man enuf to marry the mother of his child. Don't you watch Dr. Phil?
2007-02-06 16:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by texgalcharli 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's already broached the subject of "seeing other people"....then most likely he's ALREADY seeing other people. I would find that very suspicious.
If you've been together 6 years and have a child together and you're still not married, I wouldn't count on a proposal anytime soon. This guy doesn't sound like he's as into your relationship as he used to be, I would get to the bottom of whatever's going on and figure out where to go from there.
Good luck!
2007-02-06 15:42:02 · answer #5 · answered by Blue Eyes 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to do what is best for your son. If this guy wants to see other people and you suspect he is, that is not good for you or your son. It is also a red flag that he gets mad when you try to talk to him about it....like he's guilty whether he's guilty for something big or just for not being there for you. I hope it all works out for you especially for you're son's sake! Good luck and God Bless!
2007-02-08 14:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by LASS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he actually texted you and told you to get out and his reason was for seeing other ppl, then I think you need to wake up alright...if he hasn't already cheated on you he's obviously parted ways emotionally....things could possibly stilll work out but not unless both of you actually choose to work on your relationship together....it's an uphill battle, you either have to dig in and get dirty or don't even bother....no easy remedy to this one sorry..
2007-02-06 15:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
it sound like both of you need to sit down and talk about what
really going on. this sound bad, this back and forth is not good
for you and your child. time to get every thing out in the open
once and for all.
2007-02-06 15:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
a relationship without talking is probably the main cause for your problem. secondly, begin a man and not having any intimacy will drive him up the wall. if you have rejected him on many occasion. he will want to try to get it else where.
2007-02-06 15:56:43 · answer #9 · answered by parry ben 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it sounds like my relationship like a week before i found out he was cheating on me. it sounds like you are doomed. he doesn't want to fix the problem beyond kicking you out, and that is oh-so mature. leave his sorry a$$. you don't need him.
2007-02-06 15:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by pikachu 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋