He is a very good friend of mine. He has alot of problems and he always complained about it to us and just didnt really get it how badly his problems were bodering him. He has few problems first of all he has alot of acne in his face mostly. His parents are divorced, he is pretty short, doesnt like his step sisters, and he had all of these tough classes. Thanks god he told his dad about his problems and he was in Hospital for couple of months. Now he is getting out the hospital and We decided to meet in some restaurant. I know what exactly I should tell to make him feel great about himself. I mean I already told him stuff like alot of people have worst life than him and he says he knows and I am even confused. Please give a good advice, because I really dont want him to try to kill himself. I care about my friends alot.
2007-02-06 15:10:21 · 10 answers · asked by Rocky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Here's one thing I learned going through the experience more then would like.
If they are going to do it. They will. Nothing you can do to stop it.
Sometimes they use it for attention.
Sometimes it's the drugs talking.
I lost my best friend in High School. 1996. I'm not over it.
To the people who are thinking about it I say "you're a selfish waste of life. How dare you say you care about me and everyone else when you would be inflicting the greatest pain on us. Shame on you."
Let me tell you about the worst life...
I wake up somedays like I can't breath because these people decided to leave me. I hold on to mementos and cry. Then I get angry when the radio plays a song that we used to listen to or that we made fun of. I hate going to your family's house and not seeing you there. I hate driving by the cemetery. I hate going there and shouting at your grave site as if you heard me! I'm tired of this torment you burden me with because you didn't think anyone cared! FU. Shame on me for caring too much.
I think I'm going to cry now.
I seriously hope your friend wises up. Because if they don't, you'll be the one along with everyone else leaving in the hell they created for you.
Godspeed.
2007-02-06 15:22:44 · answer #1 · answered by JNM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you make it obvious that you don't judge him for his actions right. Then talk to him let him know you are there for him. Figure out what's ging on. after few weeks or so go and hang out. Go show him a good time. This way you can kind of show him that there are good things in life. Be around him a lot to make sure he's notdoing anything dangerous. But don't make it too obivious because he might just think that you only did this stuff because you actually cared after he attempted suicide.
No effenese to your friend because different people have different reasons but I don't think he should be so sad...that's just my opinion though and i have certain reasons. I also think that people who really do want suicide usually don't tell others about it, but luckily he did.
Personally i think he's lucky already. I mean his friend is going out of the way to help him.
Good luck i hope everything goes well.
2007-02-06 23:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by fairytale_dreamer22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, get him to get in with a good church - a Christian church. One that will let him know that if he kills himself he will go to hell, because it is murder and he can't ask for forgiveness because he will be dead. Suicide is selfish, let him know YOU care and it would hurt YOU. Let him know that the God of this universe LOVES HIM and God doesn't make any mistakes!
Life might stink - but hell is forever and a LOT worse than this earth. I'm sure there are support groups for you and him as well. Keep him busy so he has less time to think about himself - if he is depressed make sure he takes his medicine that the doctor better have given him! Try to avoid saying things like "I know how you feel". Sympathy yes, but empathy is truly knowing how he feels because you have been in the same situation. But nobody knows exactly how someone else feels anyhow! Be there for him! Make sure he is getting the help he needs.
2007-02-06 23:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by tnsndebt2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I realy do not think telling him that other ppl have worse problems than him is a good thing to do.... when ppl are desperat enough to try suicide, all they see is THEIR life, not others... and to have some one compare lives is just another form of telling them that they are crazy or to *get it together* and showing that you do NOT think the problems are real.... so lay off the comparing stuff !!!!!! All you can do is to validate their feelings by saying that feelings are ok and real and are a part of life but that it will all come to gether... Do not lay it on real thick.... reassure them that you are there for them !!! You are there to listen !!!! Let this person open up and spill it out, letting out all the pinnned up emotions....... And keep supporting them getting professional help...... Keep telling him that getting help is the most wonderful thing and BEST thing he can do......... God bless
2007-02-06 23:19:26 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A dear relative of mine took his own life, a terrible waste. Try not to pass judgement on your friend, try to understand and share his burdens. There may be people worse off but he his struggling with his own life and comparing his situation with others may shake what little confidence he has. Let him know you like him the way he is and support him by researching a bit about depression and ways that you can help.
2007-02-06 23:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really matter what you tell someone with low self esteem because they tend to believe that you are just saying that to make them feel better. I would definately look into support groups for him and offer to go with him. Also...the best way to feel loved is to GIVE love. Why don't you volunteer at a homeless shelter with him or some other place. Helping others is always a great esteem booster!
2007-02-06 23:15:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really push therapy. Tell him that therapy is great...it's alone time where you can talk about just your problems. I know that you think that telling him others have it bad too sounds like a good idea, but it's really not. Believe me, that just makes it worse. You need to validate his problems. Tell him that his problems are real, that you believe he is hurting and sad but that you also believe things will be okay. Rather than point out other's problems, point out all that is good in his life. Tell him how important he is to you. Validation, validation, validation!
2007-02-06 23:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by Behappy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, do your best to let hime know that you are not passing judgement on him.... also if he does not want to talk about it dont force the issue, just let him open up about it at his owwn pace.
2007-02-06 23:15:15 · answer #8 · answered by bfpmd4077 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think whenever u get the chance u should compliment him with something like o your acne is clearing up
2007-02-06 23:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by gray angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"it is always the darkest before dawn"
or some clever saying
im sorry about your friends predicament
2007-02-06 23:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by Mr_wall2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋