If so, are you scared to death of sex or are you hyperactive with sex?
I am scared to death of it.....just wondered if this was normal.
2007-02-06 14:52:52 · 8 answers · asked by Chelsea R 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes. Both times by my own father, once when I was about 4, again at 10.
And both of the above. Scared to death of people touching me unless I am in complete control, and hyper with it *online*. It happens. Sexual abuse is a severe breach of both boundaries and trust, and both need to be restored for sexual relations to ever be safe, never mind ordinary.
Not that it matters now. I've ignored the possibility of sex in the real since I was ten...I had more important things to do, like get through school, get in college, get the bachelor's degree and try to get better work, so I could earn a living.
Not that it worked at all. I'm 40 now and still stuck, and at the rate things are going, I will die, oh, how *did* that one Question in this category put it: "Unemployable, broke, fat, ugly and a loser"?
Yeah, that. I get it. Nobody will ever be attracted to me. Ever. In the real world (versus online, where my words can hold sway for a little while), woman want someone young, tiny, and cute....
Or they want someone big, powerful, and *loaded with cash*.
Or they want a jerk who is enough of an out-of-control threat that it excites them.
Intelligent, thoughtful, decent people don't even get noticed on that level. And that is *doubly true* of anyone with emotional issues....which is a given for a molestation survivor.
So yeah, I get it, I'm screwed. Nobody's going to help me on that issue because nobody thinks *I am good enough for it anyway*.
Sorry to be such a downer, but sometimes the truth just plain *hurts*, you know?
Thanks for your time.
2007-02-06 15:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by Bradley P 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes it's normal to be scared of it after what you've been through but it is not the way your life has to be. What happened isn't your devil it's theirs. after all they have the problem not you. I wasn't sexually abused but my mother's second husband was so mentally abusing that I had a real hard time with school and I hated going home. As an adult I was raped by a roomate-That was 25 years ago and I can tell you I was so mad that everyone seemed to think it would change my life--No because if I had he would have won-I just saw a therapist-talked it out and have been having fun since-good luck and get help-a therapist is just a knowledgeable best friend to talk to and remember the shame is on the other person and not you.
2007-02-06 15:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by Melinda M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, when I was 4 years old. I had nightmares till I was 18. It will never leave us completely, it will always be "there", but it was not our fault and we must go on with our lives. I am not sure if I am afraid of sex or not. Maybe, I have a little different concept of it. In my early years of sexual relationships, I found it hard to tie love and sex together.
2007-02-06 18:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by Amber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Chelsea, I have been in recovery from my sexual abuse for 18 years and have met hundreds of survivors. It seems that they all went to one extreme or the other and either avoided sex or had sex all of the time. Niether is healthy. I went to the hyper sexual extreme. It's totally normal. I hope you'll get some counseling. Sexual abuse is very hard to heal from but once you do you'll be a strong, powerful, SURVIVOR !
2007-02-07 03:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by Clover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I NEVER, EVER was SEXUALLY ABUSED but my older mildly retarded sister was constantly. She was abused sexually by many men in our life who were supposed to be my older sister's boyfriends. I think it's sad in a way because she wanted it. They always were paying her off to keep her quiet. My parents and my older sister knew this (all of us, actually), punishing the men mildly - like they'd get rid of the men and somehow they'd pop back up. I knew it was wrong and kept trying to get everyone to see this but my family is so stupid in more ways than one. I can't stand how blind they are to everything; it really sickens me. As a result, my sister is hyperactive with sex and she knows she wants the real thing but doesn't know where to turn. I just don't know what to conclude of it, if you know please tell me; click on my pic and e-mail me.
2007-02-06 15:05:57 · answer #5 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
molested by a neighbor only 4 years older than me, i was about 4 or 5, he would touch me whenever we were alone and no 1 would see. i haven't told anybody except 2 ppl i trust
no, i'm not afraid of sex
ppl r sick and twisted man
2007-02-06 16:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by pulse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I was hyper with it. Years of therapy and the love of a good and patient man made me better.
2007-02-06 14:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We get on with our lives, mature, and continue to function lick normal, average human beings. That's all there is to it.
2007-02-06 15:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋