My husband won't forgive me?

Question

We were out late and had way too much to drink. On the way home, my husband was telling me again about the route he takes to get home from work. I then lost patience and made a sarcastic remark about how I have heard about his car route before. This was three days ago. I apologized right away and told him the wine had gone to my head and that I should have just shut my mouth and had been more patient and tolerant. He still hasn't forgiven me and he is also angry because he didn't feel my apology was good enough. How do I get things back to normal. He looks at me with such anger on his face. Please help

Answer 1

I'm assuming that you do this a lot if he is holding this anger against you. If it were one occurrence, I don't think he would be holding a grudge for this long. Are you truly sorry? Did you tell him what you were sorry for? Yes, you should have just shut your mouth and been more patient and tolerant. Don't blame it entirely on the wine...Write him a letter or really think about making a sincere apology to him.

Answer 2

He's angry because the truth comes out when you are drunk. How sarcastic was the remark. You had to of said more that just "I know, I have heard this before..."

It wasn't the wine that hurt his feelings, it was what you said. Blaming the alcohol is a way of trying to get out of taking the blame for what you said. There is no one as honest as a drunk person.

That is why I thought it was funny when Mel Gibson and that Senator blamed it on the alcohol. I have been drunk many times, and I have never made anti-jewish comments or tried to sleep with an underage boy. So, I don't think the alcohol made them, or you, do what you did.

Answer 3

He is making a big deal out of nothing! You apologized; he shouldn't be holding a grudge over something so trivial.

Once, I asked my fiancee a question about a poster he had in his room...he went on talking about it for a good thirty minutes. When he was done, i could help but say "wow, you really like to hear yourself talk." I was joking (sort of). Anyway, he got mad at me, but I apologized and that was it. The argument was over in ten minutes.

The best you can do is apologize again and ask him why this is bothering him so much. Maybe there's a deeper issue.

Answer 4

If your apology was sincere,you have done what you were suppose to do.The rest is up to him.Don't stress about it,just go on with your regular daily routine.If he is still mad,maybe there is something else going on.You've excepted the blame for your mistake,don't let him make you feel any more sorry than you already feel.

Answer 5

When he leaves for work be sure to ask him if he is taking the same route then start laughing if that doesn't cut the ice then just leave it alone he will get over it .They aways do.

Answer 6

If he is THAT mad at a comment made because he cant remember telling you something repeatedly...which is ANNOYING....tell him something then tell him the same thing at dinner, and again the next day...and when he says I KNOW YOU TOLD ME ALREADY A MILLION TIMES...say oh you mean like your route to and from work. He will get the point quick

Answer 7

Wow.... He has issues. Tell him to grow up and get over it. You apologized... which was what you should have done since you felt it was necessary. However.... for him to stay angry because your apology "wasn't good enough" is immature and petty.

He probably isn't used to you telling him to "shush" and he feels humiliated... it could have been in front of all his friends at the party instead of in the car... lol

It sounds like he needs to make things right, I don't see where you did anything wrong. Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

sounds like there are other issues in the undercurrent. have a conversation with him to try to figure out what it is, and offer one last sincere apology. hopefully that opens him up to why some drunken comments are eating away at him so much -- (perhaps there have been similar incidents?)

don't beg for forgiveness -- just talk it through. goodluck and remember that no stranger online can offer you perfect advise since not one of us understands the true dynamic of your relationship.

Answer 9

Sounds to me like he is harboring a lot of resentment and it is because of something besides just the one statement. If it has happened many times before he may just not want to say anything because when he does he gets these demeaning comments.. Search your heart, there is more going on here than just what you have spoken.

Answer 10

if he won't forgive you for your small mistake when you drunk the wine and said that thats dumb for him to hold that little remark over your head one time when me and my husband was homeless i made a remark about his mother i said i wish his mother was dead then hed know how i feel because mine died years ago i didn't mean it but i apoligised and he still hates me for the remark i wish id never said that she did interfere but i don't wish anyone would die were seprated now i wish i could take those words back