What do I advice people who are sometimes 'thinks too much' and could also be mistaken as 'emotionless'? He had a childhood trauma of being 'emotional' once but was shut out by his own father. He's a nice person in general but his pessimism and over-analysis makes me think he's a 'robot' already. His ways are sure and right. But I would like him to 'feel' for once and not 'think'. What could I do or advice him?
2007-02-06 13:39:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This is not regarding a 'boyfriend-type. He's actually my Professor. I don't want to change him--not at all because I think he's already the person he is. But I do just want to make him 'feel' that there's so much more to life than just always be working! He's a literal busy-bee and what's worse, his personal life's somewhat 'suffering'. For instance, he's married BUT there are times (like presently) that he hadn't seen his own wife for half a year; he doesn't have any plans of having kids because for him, kids=disappointment (having kids is a pain in the a**); I asked him for his birthday but birthday for him's not a fun day 'cause its 'a day where you have to thank your parents' and its something not worth be thankful for; those are some examples. He's too stiff and stubborn. I end up being the loser all the time coz he has a 'point' but I still want to prove to him that there is still goodness in 'feeling'.
2007-02-06 14:04:24 · update #1
Maybe for some I should really mind my own business but I 'build relationships' with other people. Saying that I have an 'ulterior' motive is kindda harsh, for someone who's concerned with the way someone leads his life. I don't like to be too nosey also, that's why I'm asking for advice as to HOW I'd handle a person like him coz its also affecting the way he decides or advises me since he's the person in-charge of me. I'm a foreigner in his country. He's my Adviser. And I'd be dealing with him for three years.
2007-02-06 16:09:01 · update #2
Kiss him and take off his glasses
2007-02-06 13:56:06 · answer #1 · answered by zap 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be like Nike. Just do it.
Ignorance is bliss.
I don't know what this is regards to?
Something I learned a long time ago.
I was up on a roof. My friend had already jumped off. I was chicken and sat there with my legs dangling over the edge. The dangling caused the blood to pool in my legs. When I finally did jump, It hurt because of the blood pooling, but I landed without breaking my legs or any other serious consequeces. Ever since then, I am the first to do anything. The longer I sit around thinking about something, the more I am apt not to do it.
I have sinced been skydiving (Tandem of course) and it was nothing like I had imagined. It is like sticking your head out of a car window doing 60 mph. That is exactly how it felt.
Damn the torpedos. Full speed ahead.
I am in the same boat. There are the good and bad in both situations. On one hand, he will be lonely, but bright,
On the other hand, he will be in the company of people which always brings frustration.
You can't have your cake and eat it to.
He has made a choice. It is a difficult choice. People make those decisions on whether they want to be with people and be broke, or not be with people and be well off. Either way seems to bring heartbreak.
2007-02-06 21:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have emotions, but you have to evoke them. Ask him how he feels about things: mad, sad, happy, anxious, and THEN ask him what he thinks. If he starts talking about his view of it, go back to the question asking him, "but how do you FEEEEL." This way he can exploit his thought along with the emotions. Also try get the hurt emotions out the most, so that when he talks about being hurt or anything, you'll be the person he can actually open up to without feeling vunerable. Pay attention when he is try to be funny and pessimistic at the same time and try agree with him on the topic. And adding those additional details with 2 hour spaces in between makes me think you very much like him and should take to chance to love him, because you don't want to be thinking later on that he could've been the love of your life.
2007-02-06 21:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by bryant s 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is your professor, so why don't you mind your own business? I think there might be some ulterior motive here. What would you like him to feel?
2007-02-06 22:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope your not talking about your boyfriend,,,,,,,,
I thought that was my term "robot men" I know you know what I am talking about.
the best advice I could give is to RUN,,,,,,,,,,RUN,,,,,,,,,
RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.....................................
but if you don't, don't marry him until you guys get therapy, If you could walk a mile in his shoes, you would know that he thinks his way is the only way, and no amount of talking on your part will change it.
The sure and right way is so seductive,,,,,,,,, who doesn't want a smart, prosperous, mature man, but is he really??????? or is he just a robot????????
2007-02-06 21:47:47 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're trying to change him. Good luck with that; it may happen for a while but if he is basically that way, he's basically that way.
2007-02-06 21:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he needs to ******' chill out
2007-02-07 00:10:58 · answer #7 · answered by pulse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋