2007-02-06 12:52:17 · 13 answers · asked by papa chulo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I guess it is more fun this way! I dated my boyfriend for 7 years (since we were 15). We fight all the time! It's life!
2007-02-06 12:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by MissionSuccess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is passion in a fight....especially if you were raised to be fighters. There is also trust in fighting...its an unspoken message that says its safe to let my guard down here and I can be anything and you will still love me...but its a dangerous game....learn to put your passion somewhere else....the stakes just keep getting higher and eventually you hurt someone beyond what you ever thought possible.....stop it now. Make a new plan. I like the anger ladder...you each draw out a ladder on the paper and number the rungs 1-10, One is peaceful like a cool pond in summer and 10 represents homicide (yes, anger can lead there and thats the sobering reality of this emotional roulette). Then fill in the other rungs with things that peeve you off and the behaviors and signs that show you are moving up the ladder. Then you and your partner switch ladders and identify a YELLOW zone...that is you make a plan for the signs (maybe yelling and breaking things) that is a point when you say a word and walk away and know that you are doing so because you love each other. You are doing is so you dont have to get to the RED zone or worse. I know it sounds corny...but believe me....I was shocked ...I saw yelling as a signal to engage in debate and love the banter....my husband saw it as complete disrespect...so while yelling was yellow for me it was red for him....and we needed to make a plan to keep us both safe and respectful....for us, wallking away for 10 mins has really helped......we use particular silly phrases to break the tension and signal to one another that we are done fighting.... you need to come up with what works for you.....oh...and find another way to have makeup sex....cause there is some sort of payout in the arguments for us is was getting our own way and makeup sex....
2007-02-06 13:57:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid a question like that requires a little more insight. I will tell you from a personal standpoint that my fiance and I argue and fight alot but we love each other very much. People are sometimes moody, and if you find that you are able to get over your fights than I wouldn't worry too much about it. Remember, you ARE human afterall. Your not going to get along all the time. That I can promise you
2007-02-06 12:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by Shelly W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually people fight when they let things build up too long. Couples sometimes try to walk on eggshells and use kid gloves with each other, but by the time their true feelings come out, the gloves come off and things come out worse than they were meant. I think the best way to prevent that is to just be honest with each other and as soon as something comes that up may be a potential problem, regardless of how small or insignificant it may seem at the time, TALK ABOUT IT. Get it out before it has a chance to build up and make either of you say or do something that you may regret.
2007-02-06 13:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Understood 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know couple that have been together for 20+ years and they fight all the time (more like bicker most of the time) but love each other very much its just a component of their relationship. My husband and I pretty much never argue and we love each other very much............bottom line what types of things are you arguing about? do the issues ever get resolved? how do you two treat each other after an argument? how long have the two of you been together? is this just growing pains getting used to each other?
2007-02-06 12:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by irish eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of couples fight because they were taught to. they have no idea what they should fairly expect form one another, a lot of people have never had a healthy relationship to learn from. try counseling that may help, some times love isn't all you need to stay together go to counseling and if she doesn't want to go you can go by yourself and learn alot.
2007-02-06 12:58:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to calmly and rationally talk about the things you fight about. Fighting is a decision you are both making.
I once told my boyfriend that I refuse to fight with him. If he couldn't sit and discuss what was bothering us we couldn't be together. It worked! We never fought again!
2007-02-06 12:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by sassiecassie76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frequent arguing might be a result of stress. Next time during one of your arguments stop and tell her that you love her and it's not worth fighting.
2007-02-06 12:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by Ava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try some marriage counseling. They would be able to tell why you fight.
2007-02-06 12:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by shootingstarr82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience, Grasshopper. Learn to relax, and it'll work itself out. Oh, and tell your wife to relax, too.
2007-02-06 12:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by knight2001us 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋