My stepdaughters' mother looks great on the cover- she's a child "psychologist", she's educated, attractive...But! She does not spend the money we send for the kids each month on the kids. They often arrive without socks, wearing ill-fitting shoes, etc. They're not mistreated, but they are definitely not living the quality life they deserve. Suggestions would be great.
2007-02-06 12:27:19 · 26 answers · asked by nichhew 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The most important thing is that they are fed, clean, happy and loved. How they appear on the outside is materialistic. Just because they may not have designer clothes, does not mean that they aren't well taken care of.
I'd leave it alone. It's not your place and it will only start trouble.
2007-02-06 12:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lila 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might be a good idea for you, your husband and his ex wife to have a meeting together. Dont start a arguement but let her know that your both concerned because the kids do not have socks, shoes, etc. when they come over.
Ask her if there is anything that maybe you could all work on as far as the kids are concerned or special needs that need to be met. Be respectful and let her know you want to work with her so that the kids are getting what they need.
If you bring it to her in away that is not accuseful and let her know that you and your husband want to work with her to help the kids and know its not easy working full time it will help her realize that the kids need things that maybe she has over looked. good luck
2007-02-06 12:52:01 · answer #2 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure the children have the clothing they need at your home and don't waste your time trying to bring the subject up. Keep the good clothes at your house.
Maybe the EX is trying to make your husband feel guilty. Child support doesn't necessarily have to go to the clothing fund and any judge or friend of the c*nt worker will tell you that. Child support is for electricity, food, etc. I have a step daughter and know all of this first hand.
2007-02-06 16:06:31 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie :) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, you will probably do more harm then good by confronting her. If there are extra things they need, then talk to your husband about it and provide them to the kids directly. In the case there are concerns about how your husband's ex wife is spending the money she is given by him, he and he alone should be the one to confront her. The best thing you can do is care for them while they are at your house as if they are you own kids (and it sounds like you already do this). It's often hard for the child to adapt to having divorced parents, so I would let your stepdaughter know that anytime she wants to talk to you about something, that she can talk to you.
2007-02-06 13:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm assuming you may desire to be concerning an ex husband/spouse and not a boyfriend/lady chum, the superb option? Assuming there is not any teenagers, i do no longer think of it relatively is appropriate to be doing any of those issues. maximum divorces do no longer end amicably. those that do have people in VERY distinctive places who desire little or no to do with one yet another. That stated why bypass lower back and do the flaws married people do? Your now no longer married, so as this is stupid. If there are teenagers then there's slightly extra there. case in point helping them out with a trip to the rfile may be ok simply by fact as a parent watching your baby you may desire them to be in extra healthful wellbeing for the youngster's risk-free practices. that may not to assert you bypass into the wellbeing practitioner workplace with the ex and carry their hand. i assume there are exceptions to each rule, yet extra often than no longer i might say which you mustn't be looking after an ex. If there are teenagers you may help, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it is going to likely be saved to a minimum. in case you prefer to shelter your ex then you definately could by no potential have divorced.
2016-10-01 13:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well good luck. I'll be watching for answers about this one too. I'm the evil step-mom (as i've been informed multiple times) and i haven't DONE anything other than take care of the kids and make my husband happy (oops there it is). Our kids show up the same way but part of it is that she won't let them wear thier better clothes to our house. Like we are going to do ??? SO its a no win situation. Sorry
2007-02-06 13:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by Allison A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your business to tell the the mother of your husband's children how to care for their children. If you value your marriage, stay out of it. Your husband is not blind....and how she spends the money is not the business of either of you...I assume she has custody of the children, she is providing a home, food, etc.......perhaps they arrive at your house without socks and wearing ill-fitting shoes, because she saves the good clothes for during the week when they go to school........
bottom line, stay out of it.....
2007-02-06 13:27:28 · answer #7 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARE YOU CRAZY!!!
Fact - All ex's hate the new wife. All new wives hate ex wives. That is how it is, with very few exceptions. Ex wives are normally particularly sensitive about the kids, and are very defensive on any matter relating to them This is THE 'Lion's Den" in your husbands relationship with the ex (That and money!!) You take her on and she WILL have a field day on you!!!
Speak to your husband and let him take up the cause. He will still take flak, but he is way more likely to get a positive result You would get a declaration of war.
2007-02-06 12:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In fact they are mistreated!! If this pedigree educated airhead can't so much as see to it that HER children have on proper fitting clothing something wrong with the ''womanly'' and I use the term woman loosely!
Mention this to your husband, he was married to this person, not you, and you confronting her will only turn into a cat fight...trust me. She will turn it around and make it as if your jealous of her, and how your insecure, and how her ex-husband wants her back blah, blah, blah. Tell your husbands your concerns, and make sure he follows up with HIS ex-wife.
2007-02-06 13:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: don't make assumptions. They may choose to wear the old shoes by themselves, kids are weird like that.
Then, if it seems that there is a reasonable worry, talk to your husband. You MUST talk to your husband. Then, talk to the kids in a very non-descript way.
2007-02-06 12:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by kttm :] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋