How to get friends??

Answer 1

LOVE all people in this way, you'll have many trustworthy, kindhearted friends soon.

LOVE vs. Attachments.

What in the world is the difference between loving a person and being attached to them ?
Love is the sincere wish for others to be happy, and to be free from suffering.
Having realistically recognized others' kindness as well as their faults, love is always focused on the other persons welfare. We have No ulterior motives to fulfill our self-interest, or to fulfill our desires; to love others simply because they exist.
Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others' good qualities and makes us crave to be with them. When we're with them, we're happy, but when we're separated from them, we are often miserable. Attachment is linked with expectations of what others should be or do.
Is love as it is usually understood in our society
really love ? or attachment ?
Let us examine this a bit more. Generally we are attracted to people either because they have qualities we value or because they help us in some way. If we observe our own thought processes mindfully, and carefully - we'll notice that we look for specific qualities in others.
Some of these qualities we find attractive, others are those our parents, or society value.
We examine someone's looks, body, education,
financial situation, social status. This is how most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value to us.
In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they help us, praise us, make us feel secure, listen to what we have to say, care for us when we are sick or depressed, we consider them good people, and it is this type of people we are most likely to be more attracted to.

But this is very biased, for we judge them only in terms of how they relate to "us", as if we are the most important person in the world.
After we've judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them it appears to us as if goodness is coming from them, but if we are more aware, we recognize that we have projected this goodness onto them.

Desiring to be with the people a lot who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo's -
when we're with these people, we're Up, when we're not with these people, we're Down.

Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with those people will be and thus have expectations of them. When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we're very disappointed, or may become angry !
We want them to change so that they will they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from the other people.
Our problems arise not because others aren't
who we thought they we're, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they
aren't.
Checklist: "I Love You if __________ "
What we call love is most often attachment.
It is actually a disturbing attitude that overestimates the qualities of another person.
We then cling to tightly to that person, thinking our happiness depends on that person.
"Love, on the other hand, is an open and very calm, relaxed attitude. We want someone to be happy, and free from suffering simply because they exist. While attachment is uncontrolled and much too sentimental, Love is direct and powerful. Attachment obscures our judgment and we become impatient, angry, and impartial, helping only our dear one's and harming those who we don't like. Love builds up others, and clarifies our minds, and we
access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on
selfishness, while Love is founded upon cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to the eyes. Love looks beyond
all the superficial appearances, and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want inner peace, happiness, and want to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, dirty, ignorant people, we feel repulsed because our selfish minds want to know attractive, intellectual, clean, and talented people. Love, on the other hand, never evaluates others by these superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others' appearances, their experience is the same as ours: they seek inner peace, to be happy, to be free from sufferings, and to do their best to avoid problems.
When we're attached, we're not mentally and emotionally free. We overly depend on and cling to another person to fulfill our mental and especially our emotional needs. We fear losing the person, feeling we'd be incomplete without him.
This does not mean that we should suppress our emotional needs or become aloof, alone and totally independent, for that too does not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs, and slowly seek to eliminate them. Some emotional needs may be so strong that they can't be dissolved immediately.
If we try to suppress them or pretend they do not exist, we become anxious, insecure, falling into a depression. In this case, we can do our best to fulfill our needs while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them.
"The core problem is we seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others rather than to understand them. In all honesty, our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfishness obscuring our own
minds. 'We can develop self-confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a selfless human being with many, many magnificent qualities, then we'll develop a true and accurate feeling of self-confidence. And
then we'll seek to increase true love, without attachments, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience and understanding, as well as generosity, concentration and wisdom.'

'Under the influence of attachment we're bound by our emotional reactions to others. When they are nice to us, we're happy. When they ignore us, or speak sharply to us, we take it personally and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn't mean we become hard-hearted. Rather, without attachment there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine Affection and Impartial Love for them.
We'll be actively involved with them.
If we learn to subdue our attachments, we can most definitely have successful friendships and personal relationships with others !! These relationships will be richer because of the freedom and respect - the relationships will be based on. We'll care about the happiness and the misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same in wanting and needing inner peace, happiness, and not wanting to suffer. However, our lifestyles and interests may be more compatible with those of some people more so than with others, and that is alright. In any case, our relationships will be based on mutual Love, mutual interests, and the wish to help each other in life.

Answer 2

Making friends can be difficult, especially these days with so many peer pressures. You're the odd one out if your clothes are different, your hair is the wrong cut or colour, your shoes are bought on a budget and don't display the designer label, you happen to enjoy listening to the wrong kind of music, your folks are not as trendy as they should be, etc....etc...

If you want to develop a more pleasing personality and make friends.......... become genuinely interested in other people. Show kindness........ you may be wearing the latest designer label clothes, the hottest brand shoes and the coolest jewelry but if you display sourness and selfishness you'll have a battle ahead of you to make good friends.

Choose your friends carefully. If others try to persuade you to smoke, take illicit drugs, steal, gamble, fight etc... dare to say NO. Doing the wrong thing is the quickest way to lose friends.... honest, good and upright friends. Stay on the right track and be a respected citizen with a sincere reputation. Remain on the right side of the law! Deep down in your heart you know what is right and good. You know when to say 'no' and you know when its time to walk away.

Being mentally strong is not always easy but let me assure you..... the more you practice it the easier it becomes. Soon those who thought they were trendy will want to dress like you, talk like you and be with you because you have a personality which is different. People like being different! Think about it.... if you dressed and acted like 10 million other people, are you different? NO........ So be yourself and don't give in to those horrifying peer pressures.


RESPECT!.... dont just pick someone out of the croud and expect them to be nice to you and be your friend. if you dont give them respect then you will end up being enemies.

ATTITUDE!... Learn how to make friends simply by adjusting a few "downers" in your attitude.


Try to look on the bright side of things. Smile at everybody, which will show people what a fun person you are.
Be positive and fill your speech with uplifting words. Never make an insulting joke to get attention. Companions are courteous and complimentary.

Have confidence and don't slouch when you walk. Try to always have a fun time.

If anybody asks you a question, answer in a friendly and polite way. Find common ground to talk about.

Be sincerely interested in what others have to say. Look them in the eye. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Empathize. Laugh (with them, not at them). Be good company.

Answer 3

My best advice is to just be yourself around people. Don't be shy, but don't change yourself just to 'fit in with others'. Respect others and have a good attitude towards others, and most of all, treat someone how you want to be treated.

You may have some people you know that want to be your friend, or maybe you're not as open enough and they want to give you some space.

Making one friend may get you even more. You'll get introduced to their friend as well, and then you'll get more and more.

Answer 4

Two ways:
- Compliment something about a person, it gives them more self-esteem and makes you think you're not self-centered.
- Always laugh and smile, but don't be perfect. The perfect people are always disliked. Be friendly.

Answer 5

you Need to Have someone online or in your Area.

you will need to know much about him or her and tell about your's also

for there you will be friends and be sharing life together

Answer 6

hard to get friends and i wouldnt be the one to ask lol

Answer 7

be nice, funny, have a good conversation w/ people

Answer 8

awww...that sucks. you don't have any friends.
just make casual conversation with your aquaintences