I have a relationship question to ask?

Question

Ok, I am 37 years old my bf is 35 years old. We have been together a little over 2 1/2 years now. We are currently living together. He is a mommas boy though. He is over there every day after work from 3:30pm until 5:30pm. Then he goes back over every weekend and is there on Saturday & Sunday from 8:30AM until 5:30PM. As such leaves us only with evenings together. His step dad died 5 years ago and ever since then he has devoted all his time to his mom. He was married before he met me and was going through a divorce when we met. The only family he really has that he is close to is his mom and his aunt and uncle. The rest of the family is scattered all over in different states and they never see them. He is an only child. His mom met me right when we started dating and then after 2 months of being together. We decided things werent working so we broke up and I moved home then about a month or month & a half later I ended up moving back in w/him again cuz we worked things out

Anyhow, we are together. BUT now his mom doesnt know we are together since I moved back in with him and thats been a lil over 2 years now. The first time she met me she decided she didnt like me. BUT, according to him she doesnt get a long with anyone so its not just me. She has no friends and her life and his life basically revolve around each other. Anyhow, he stil hasnt gone with me to visit my family they live 7 hours North of us. BUT they have been down to see us 3 times now. BUT he flat refuses to go with me to visit my family and he refuses to tell his mom about us. He keeps coming up with excuses for everything. I do love him and care about him BUT there are soooo many things that are making it to where I dont even want to deal with things anymore.

So basically I am trying to figure out how to handle this situation and what my next step should be?

Answer 1

listen closly sorry to say this but DUMP HIM if you guys are going to go anywhere with your relationship you wont have time because he is over at his mommy's house...... what does he do over there anyway...... anyway just dump him if you think about it if you marry and have children will he have you do all the work while he goes over to his mommy or what if he makes your children love his mom more than you ask yourself these questions ask yourself this right now... do i love him

Answer 2

If he won't even tell his mother about you after two years, you have absolutely no future together. Let him know now that if he doesn't get a backbone, you are leaving. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life, in hiding? The best advice is to cut your losses and move on.

Answer 3

I think if you see yourself with this man for the rest of your life, he needs to change his ways. He can still be a mommas boy but needs to include you because you are his partner. You have to show that you want to get to know her also by taking time out to ask if you can join them. The mom needs to know you somehow and you have to be the one to take initiative on the subject. If you worked out your relationship - you have to work this out also because the mom won't go away and you won't go away. The mom and you both love him and he loves you both but they need to start learning that you're a part of that union because you got back together. If he doesn't want to include you - you must re-evaluate your relationship with him.

Answer 4

Your right mommas boy its nice that he spend time with his family but your not part of the family . So what you see is what you get .It will never change She is the other women. Sorry >Talk with him if that dosen't work .Make a choice .His way or the highway . Best of luck

Answer 5

there is no question in the words that you write, but the way you are being treated is wrong i don't think this man loves you as much as he says he does and regardless of what his mother thinks he should not hide his feelings for you, if i was you i would tell him straight out that you can't keep living this way and tell him the things you want to change because if you keep living in this way you may end up like this forever

Answer 6

if u cannot live without this guy then become best friends with his mom. he isnt going to cut back on his time with her any time soon. i suggest finding a new man for her or try to get her interested in some out side interest. just remember she will always come first to him after 35 years its not going to change.

Answer 7

if he is not proud of you, and does not respect you enough to tell his mommy about you, and he spends all weekend with his mommy and spends all afternoon with his mommy, then you had better move on... when her health worsens, you really won't see him. sounds like you've hooked up with a real loser. move on with your life because this will not change. you will never be his first priority. once is dumb, twice is stupid, you are beating a dead horse. go!!!

Answer 8

Wow, sounds like a tuff situation. Does he think he spends too much time with his mom?

Answer 9

Explain to your best friend that you feel as though he is not leaving enough time for your relationship and that in order for it to work their must be time for you and him to communicate. Ask him if he could try to make time for you by making adjustments in his schedule.

Answer 10

Move out and break up with him. You're his family too. Since he doesn't care enough about you to be with you, you'll be better off without his crap.