The girl am to marry she has hard head kids.I try to be nice but her kids are very disrespect. They talk back to there mom, if the girl who is 15 don't get her way she tell her mom she going to call the cops on her, she calls her mom a ho when she mad, she won't clean her room, she told me to shut up f you in so on. The son he is 9 he ok but he talks back too tells his mom I hate you and the oldest when told to do something he always says later. It takes him 4hours or more to do something, because he can't do it right now because he watching something or playing a game. Her dauther is the worse one. She has told me off lot's of times. There out of control. I can't do nothing am not there father. I was going to leave 3 times already. I hold back because I love there mother. I get mad with her (the mom) becasue she don't really do nothing. She just talks to them in a clam voice. "Don't do that honey" like that really works. In she knows it don't. I think they need a old fashion speaking.
2007-02-06 11:01:09 · 10 answers · asked by Silver 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
anyway, I meant anywhere
2007-02-06 11:02:26 · update #1
I do love and care for the kids. I would never harm them. I try to help them. Talk to them too. But there the type of kids they know it all.
2007-02-06 11:18:07 · update #2
i think its time to call Super Nanny........
2007-02-06 11:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with other fews that her kids are now yours too and that you should stick togather in good and worse.
I dont have kids jet, but I hear things now and then. I listened on a radio once, when an expert in problematic children told: at years 1-3 its easy, then later it takes weaks and months to discipline them, until 15 or so there is stil hope, but when in high puberty you should save your strenghts. Because spoiled kids at this age will go down and will come back when realy need you.
What you should do: 1. talk to an expert. 2. read some book on self confidence and about being determined/unyielding/ not being pushed around by kids or anybody 3. you must write some rules and tell those rules to your kids AND what hapens + if they obey and - if they dont (let's say taking them toys away until they behave or grounding them and calling the cops yourself if they run away). And do it as promissed, not bending to bad words or bad behavior. First it would probably get worse, but just patience and stubborness. 4. all what you do, do together with agreement of your wife AND cover each others backs. If you are to solve problem with kids, she should be on your side.
If you love your wife and care what happens with kids, thenyou should show strong character. Your wife will get confidence from you and you can succeed.
And remember, as I know from my experience (being a kid), children need discipline. It can be done without 'oldfashion speaking'. If you hit a kid even once, he won't trust you and will know that you are hopeless.
2007-02-06 11:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by vanja m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love the mother try to stick it out. My cousin had 5 kids, grew up in the worst neighborhood, and the kids were extremely disrespectful to their mother, and the new boyfriend. After about a year and half they have calmed down. Talk to the mother and let her know that you do love her but if she doesn't start trying to take control then you don't know how much longer you can stick it out. I know its hard. Just because you are not their father you are still a supporter of those kids, and deserve to be respected and should be allowed to help discipline the kids. If the mother doesn't see it that way then you need to not think about it but get out off the relationship, because you will always be disrespected.
2007-02-06 11:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These children need help! Without discipline we can get very far in life. I suggest you try family counseling. I also suggest you all get in church and soon. It is fine that the mother speaks in a calm voice. She should be calm,but she needs to learn how to take authority. The children need to learn respect. "Honor your mother and father that your days may be long." You need to resolve these things or move on. Most churches have some form of family help and most communities have mental health clinics which charge on a sliding scale. What they need is a a heart conversion. Their heart is not right. Their mother has not "trained them up in the way they should go.". They have no foundation for faith and respect. If you will be their step father, they need to respect you and their mother. You can begin to take them to church and try to make up for the damage that has been done in their life. Talking back should be totally unacceptable, bad language should not cross their lips. this not too much to ask, but they need training. Help this woman see this. If the children don't learn now they will face a lifetime of hardship for their rebellious attitudes.
2007-02-06 11:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by ruthie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound harsh, but you really should not marry this woman if you do not love her children as well. And you ahould not just be referring to them as "her kids", because they will be yours too. When you marry this woman, you marry her past history and her family. While I agree with you that these kids are WAY out of line, there's not much you can do.
What ever happened to "til death do us part?" When you agree to marry someone, you don't agree to marry them as long as things work out, you promise to stand by them and love them through good times and bad.
The bottom line is that these will be your kids too, and you have the right to ground them once you tie the knot. Do NOT be verbally or physically abusive. Be fair. Talk to your gf/fiance, and don't even think about leaving her or YOUR family once you're married.
Just stay strong. Try telling YOUR children that you love them. Be a father.
2007-02-06 11:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by funkymonkeyduck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of this relationship now. Tell mom she needs to get her kids UNDER CONTROL before you will step in. If you marry this woman NOW the way the kids are............you will end up in jail for abuse. They are totally out of control and you will be expected to be the "father figure".
Please get your girlfriend to help in disciplining her kids. This needs to be a team effort.
2007-02-06 11:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by Avon Lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ID TELL YA.. RUN FOR THE HILL... AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
SORRY MEN... THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!
THERE IS ALREADY A TERMOIL IN THE RELATIONSHIP, WHY DONT YOU LIVE?
IF U MARRY INTO THIS MESS, YOU MAKE YOURSELF SUFFER AND SO EVERYONE INVOLVED!
GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
2007-02-06 11:11:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This breaks my heart. Please don't marry into this family until all of you have family counseling and the situation changes. I know you care deeply for their mother and would like to marry her, but please see if the children can change their attitudes before you marry into that situation.
Best of luck and God Bless.
2007-02-06 11:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by lacysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, those kids ned to get beat (not abused there is a big difference between disciplinary beating and abuse)
2007-02-06 11:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by ~♥~K~♥~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are an average ordinary disrespectful teenage little brat. You need to put your foot down..............on their face if you have to!
2007-02-06 16:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋