Mens opinion and advice,please??

Question

Just wondering if you could give me a males point of view on this.

My ex of 6 years walked out on me and my son in july came back after 6 weeks and then left again just over a month ago.The first time he told me he had fallen out of love but this time we haven`t really spoke and he told me he was leaving by voice text and over the phone,the night he came over for his stuff(sunday,after being away since the friday after work)he had a taxi waiting on him outside to take him to his mate from works,whee he is apparently staying.He has told me he isn`t seeing anyone else and thats not why he left us but part of me just doesn`t believe him.

He says he had to leave me or he would have ended up cheating on me.He always stayed out most weekends taking drugs and drinking while i was at home with our son who has learning difficulties.

I know we`re never going to get back and i wouldn`t want him anyway,but just can`t understand how a dad can walk away not just once but twice from his son?

I`ve thought about the fact that he only came back for the sake of our son,that means he told me a pack of lies,he told me he fell back in love with me and now he says he didn`t so that hurts even more.

Answer 1

a guys point of view............nati, we guys are a strange bunch...we want you,but not the responsability...we want to be married,but dont want one woman...see where im going? we want our cake and eat it too...now heres my point of view...throw the s.o.b. out of your life...if he has no time for his only son...then hes only a sperm donor...not a daddy...remember this...any man can be a father to a child...but it takes a good man to be a daddy to a child...and it dont matter if he is the childs real father or not...he aint worth your sons time...hes a pig...be careful...be safe...i wish you luck...

Answer 2

You want to know how he can walk away?

He had this twisted dream that marriage would be all sex and chocolate and no heavy lifting.

Then he got married and along came commitment, and staying home, and no drugs, and a child, and a child with special needs, and you wanting him to be there, and he went apesh*t and went back to being a drug and p*ssy hound because he is a big baby in a man's body.

Good god - how did you let this guy talk you into marrying him? Did you know what a loser he was when you married him? If so, *why*? The drug use alone should be enough to warn you off him *forever*. get out while the getting is good.

If you don't, you'll look back 30 years from now and go "I should have left back then. What a wasted life." blecch! leave now.

Answer 3

Hi sorry you are having such a rough time of it with the ex but he's not worth bothering about.LOVE is a very easy thing to say but true love is hard to deny if you are lucky enough to have it.Your ex does not have it and most probably never did,his actions confirm this.He will keep coming back as you are his comfort zone,and he feels he can manipulate you if and when he feels.You must except this situation for what it is and get rid of him,he will continue to hurt you and your sons feelings if you don't.You and your son deserve better and you will not get this if you wait around for your ex to change.I was lucky enough to find true love as a young man and i am still madly in love with my wife.She was 15 and i was 18 when we met and soon after we began dating,and it was fun.Now i am 40 we have 5 children and we still tell eachother we love eachother everyday.In all these years the longest we have been apart is about 16 hours,and that was long enough. I don't need to go out with the lads,as all i ever wanted and need is right here within these four walls.When you can honestly say this that is when you have found true love and nothing can change that feeling.Your ex says he has fallen out of love with you but unfortunately he was never truely in love with you.A real father would never walk out on a child no matter what his relationship with the mother.Give up on this loser just as he gave you and your son up,then you maybe able to find your true love.I am a very lucky man to have what i have and i cherish everyday with my family and of course my wife.If you were ever to meet us you would see and here what true love really is. We are always laughing together and always hugging and kissing,the children are always telling us to put eachother down.I believe there is true love out there for everyone some take a little longer to find it,but i promise its worth searching for.I send my best wishes to you and your son,move on from your loser ex as Mr True love is out there somewhere.

Answer 4

that's why we are humans love and not clones. People (some of them) have no cares for their offspring none, zero. They never seem to get the fact that a dad is the only thing that can't be replaced. Dad's don't walk in off the street to pick up where one left off. I fell in love with two boys I was coaching and married their mom and raised them but the few men who love kids and are willing to take on the challenges of what all my friends called a pre-fab family are certainly more far and few in between than faithful priests. I am not married now but the boys they call me dad and we are still close and all is good. the real dad what one of my boys calls the sperm donor is struggling to keep above water and has been since his departure. I also think that teamwork is a much needed lesson many people never ever get. when you quit a team you give yourself the excuse to be able to quit other things that comes up over and over again in a man's life to challenge your dedication to commitment and life itself. Anyway I had a boss that aways said excuses are for a**holes....

Answer 5

Any idiot with a penis can be a Dad. It takes a real man to be a father. Drugs? Drink? He is a weak, pathetic individual who needs to get a grip of his life. He's obviously emotionally immature, and should be denied access to his son until he has become worthy of being a father. Any man who walks out on his own flesh and blood is betraying his family. I hope you find a worthy replacement. Keep your chin up, life can now only get better.

Answer 6

It may be that he just can't cope with life like you can. I am not justifying what he has done, but maybe he is just too weak.

Drugs and alcohol are what we use to escape. It is quite possible there is no one else, it is equally possible he hates himself for doing this...which would explain his returning...and then leaving again.

Sorry I can't be more positive but it sounds to me like he may try and come back again...but he has a lot of maturing to do in a short space of time if there is any chance he can redeem himself.

Answer 7

it won't feel like it at the moment but you no that you are well rid of him you have one life just do whats best for you and your son not having a dad there is better than a horrible atmosphere dont you think time to draw a line and think of yourself and your son good luck

Answer 8

Because of the drugs,he cant function properly,and it will probably take him a long time to recover,so the best thing to do,is to look after your kid and make sure he is ok,stay strong,and go forward,dont look back-good luck

Answer 9

Look at it this way, you could spend a very long time trying to figure it all out (what is wrong with him, what was your role in it all), but at the end of the day, his problems are no longer your problems, and that's something--at least--to be thankful for happening.

Answer 10

good riddance. stop trying to figure him out. at least he was man enough to leave without fanfare and was upfront with you instead of sneaking away. place your faith in your higher power and he will help you through this. good luck.maybe it might of been hard on seeing his son in his condition that made him feel like he was a failure. you love your son for the both of you. god bless and good luck.